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Julia Clement

@juliaclement@mastodon.nz
mastodon 4.7.2
  • Open on mastodon.nz

If you like my memes, feel free to share, either here or elsewhere. Just keep my credits.
To see more, follow me.
Auckland based Comedian / Playwright / Producer / Director. Before that, 40+ years commercial computer software development. Overlapping these two careers I found time to make over 4,000 Wikipedia edits.

Profile photo by Michelle Hyslop michellehyslop.com

88 Followers
86 Following
42 Posts
Joined November 13, 2022
Comedy:
Stand-up performer & also runs shows. Often performs as DEATH, the grin reaper (note spelling)
Web Site:
https://juliaclement.com/
Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 1mo ago
Replying to
@isaacfreeman@cloudisland.nz As the mover of motion 6, thanks for your support. I worry about the potential for NZ to fall behind in the adoption of IPv6 and end up with flakey workarounds such as the ones parts of Europe endure. Happy to discuss here if anyone has any questions.
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@ikuo1000@mas.to My wife's had Covid twice and I've had it once. In all 3 cases we tested negative the first day we had symptoms and positive on the second day. I don't know if this is normal but it suggests that there is a chance of false negatives. OTOH the reason I didn't catch it the first time she had it was I had been working closely with someone who got symptoms and tested positive the following day. As my wife was working with immune compromised people then we agreed to stay several metres apart for 10 days. At least I was able to keep her supplied with sorbet while we waited for her to recover.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 2mo ago
This is the kind of person David Seymour wants to rewrite our social contracts. From a facebook post by Really American so accuracy can not be guaranteed. BREAKING: MAGA-Heritage Foundation aide caught trying to bring ammo and drugs into a Senate building The party that never stops lecturing everyone else about law and order just watched one of its own Project 2025 architects get busted trying to walk ammunition and hard drugs into a Senate office building. Matthew Christopher Wingate, the Heritage Foundation's government relations director for defense and foreign policy, was stopped by Capitol Police on July 14 at the Russell Senate Office Building. An X-ray of his briefcase flagged a pistol magazine, and a search turned up a magazine loaded with 10 rounds of 9mm ammunition. Then it got worse. Officers say the same briefcase held a plastic sandwich bag with four capsules and three blue pressed pills. The pills tested positive for cocaine and fentanyl. Wingate's explanation was as flimsy as it sounds. He claimed he forgot the loaded magazine was in his bag and insisted the drugs were his own and "prescribed by a medical professional." Fentanyl and cocaine in a sandwich baggie is not what a prescription looks like. This is not some random staffer. Wingate previously worked for Republican Senators Joni Ernst and Ted Cruz, and he now helps run the think tank behind Project 2025, the blueprint pushing to expand Trump's power and stack the federal government with loyalists. These are the people writing the plans to reshape the country in their image, positioning themselves as the guardians of American values. And one of them just got stopped at a Senate checkpoint with a loaded magazine and a baggie of fentanyl. The hypocrisy writes itself.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@bvibber@wikis.world I notice that Wikipedia:Wiki_Workers_United_solidarity is still slowly growing and now up to 1183 signatures, only 191 less than the largest ever received and that was an issue directly affected editors while this is editors supporting staff. We've got your back.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@seindal@mastodon.uno @Gurre@mastodon.nu @mattburgess@infosec.exchange Pedoberg is well connected with the other billionaire rulers of the rulers of the USA?
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 3mo ago
Replying to
@carlt4@hachyderm.io @PavelASamsonov@mastodon.social Yes but we quickly learned that going over the sharpie ink with the dry erase pen made the sharpie ink rub off. Maybe we needed to do it twice to get it all off.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 2mo ago
Replying to
The death of American democracy
@leighelse@mastodon.nz 61 years of democracy, since the Voting Rights Act of 1965 said that *All* adult citizens had the right to vote regardless of race.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago

Toilet paper shortage?

I'm switching to a #lowFibre diet for the duration.

mastodon.nz
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago

We had #fruitTrees when I was a kid but I kept eating their children.

mastodon.nz
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 3mo ago
Replying to
@icing@chaos.social And she didn't even need to create an algae pool.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 3mo ago
Replying to
@ewenmcneill@cloudisland.nz @nzlemming@mastodon.nz ... and then there's other apps on the fediverse that aren't Mastodon.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 3mo ago
Replying to
@ewenmcneill@cloudisland.nz @nzlemming@mastodon.nz That search I gave Mark was showing things as far back as November 2022 on the first page of results which, I think, was before Mastodon became text searchable.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 6mo ago
Replying to
@petergleick@fediscience.org Absolutely no surprises here for me. For the last few decades, both Russia and America (and to a lesser extent Western European countries) have worked tirelessly to enrich a few at the cost of the education of future scientists and technological innovators. In the last 4 to 5 thousand years, the Chinese have invented so many things it isn't funny. The Four Great Inventions (compass, gunpowder, paper-making and printing including movable type) are celebrated but there are hundreds of significant inventions from Triangular-shaped stone ploughshares (circa 3500 BCE) through to the failure of China with the late 16th century decline of China under the Ming then the 17th century conquest by the Manchu Qing dynasty. To be fair, this period saw widespread implementation of the fishing reel, improvements in textile manufacturing, advancements in agricultural irrigation techniques and advanced mass-production techniques for global export of porcelain. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Chinese_inventions The first 8 decades of the 20th century were not kind to China then after 1978, Deng Xiaoping's reforms started the ball rolling. In 1995 under Deng's successor, the State Council issued the "Decision on Accelerating S&T Development" which described planned Science & Technology development for the coming decades, fifteen years before President Xi came to power. Xi's encouraged the advancement of the programmes that were already in progress before he took over and now we see the Chinese reaching parity with and surpassing Russia & the West.
en.wikipedia.org
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 6mo ago
Replying to
@KeithDJohnson Unfortunately, the Republicans probably think they have a Nazi opportunity. :(
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 6mo ago
Replying to
@BenHM3 @xkcd or the Pentium FDIV bug? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pentium_FDIV_bug
en.wikipedia.org
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 11mo ago
Replying to
@bagder@mastodon.social I hope it doesn't happen, but I can see someone using this as an excuse for creating a short lived fork of Python.
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 7mo ago
Replying to
@Natasha_Jay@tech.lgbt That photo is also the front cover of Jay Lichter's beautiful photo book "The Secret Life of Fungi" Many more of his photos at his Instagram account cyanesense
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@warandpeas I ran my website through it. Weird co-incidence or what at the lop of the report?
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@jeremy_pm@mastodon.nz In the pastel blue corner, Christopher "punchdrunk" Luxon and in the true blue corner, Stuart "killer" Smilth?
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago

True story and not a joke.

Some time in the early 1920s Christopher Robin Milne is feeding condensed milk to a bear named Winnie at London Zoo.

Milne named his toy bear after Winnie and his father made a famous book or two featuring the pair of them and some other toys.

Commemorating the 100th anniversary of the publication of the first #Winnie-the-pooh book in 1926.

mastodon.nz
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago

Panic buying #toiletPaper is a shitty thing to do.

mastodon.nz
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago

#Marriage is a sacred covenant between one couple and the registrar of births deaths and marriages!

We give them money and they give us a certificate.

mastodon.nz
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 8mo ago
Replying to
@blub @garius Many years ago there was a use case for picking DB2, Oracle, etc. There either were no free RDBMS systems or the ones that existed weren't yet advanced / stable enough. It's hard to see a good use case today. 1968 or 69, Cincom released TOTAL(*), a network database. 1979: Oracle 2.3 First commercially available SQL RDBMS 1981: IBM SQL/DS(*) released 1983: IBM DB2(*) gains SQL 1983: Oracle 3.1.3 rewritten in C & ported to UNIX 1993 MS SQL Server, a rebadged Sybase, released for NT 1994: Postgres95, first version of Postgres with SQL replacing POSTQUEL 1995 May the first version of mySQL released "For personal use" whatever that means. 1995 September PostgreSQL relicenced under a FOSS licence. 2000 SQLite 1.0 released. 2001 SQLite 2.0 had transactions (*)=For IBM mainframes. There were other database systems available for other mainframes.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@georgetakei Also: “It appeared that there had even been demonstrations to thank Big Brother for raising the chocolate ration to twenty grams a week. And only yesterday […] it had been announced that the ration was to be reduced to twenty grams a week. Was it possible that they could swallow that, after only twenty-four hours? Yes, they swallowed it. [...] The eyeless creature at the other table swallowed it fanatically. passionately, with a furious desire to track down, denounce, and vaporize anyone who should suggest that last week the ration had been thirty grams. Syme, too-in some more double complex way, involving doublethink-Syme, swallow it. Was he, then, alone in the possession of a memory?” ― Orwell George, 1984
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@augieray@mastodon.social Ah, transitioning, the 49 day journey from death to rebirth described in the Bardo Thödol (or for Westerners translated as The American Book of the Dead)
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 7mo ago
Replying to
@fesshole@mastodon.social If you don't know the answer, how do you know it's the wrong answer? This is, of course, a version of the "a stopped clock is right twice a day" problem.
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 7mo ago
Replying to on mastodon.social
@arstechnica@mastodon.social I remember two of those covers (Viking boat & Balloon) from when I was a subscriber. So sad his pen has been silenced.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 8mo ago
Replying to
@drchaos @stavvers The K-Pg boundary was 65 Million and change years ago, I'm sure the dinosaurs won't mind having waited a few more decades for us to announce that we've found the impact site.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 10mo ago
Replying to
@shanselman@hachyderm.io I once had 3 computers controlled from 3 keyboards & mice on my desktop. After much swearing and self induced confusion I used a bright yellow paint pen from my local Daiso to write "Desktop", "Laptop" & "RPi" as appropriate on them.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 13mo ago
Replying to
@FediTips@social.growyourown.services @anonax@defcon.social Holy fuck! That is the nastiest abuse of registrants I have heard in the 20 years since I registered the .com of Kiore, my then nickname, to get the email address I wanted. Luckily neither .com nor .nz which I do use are this grasping, but Switzerland, Spain, France, Liechtenstein, and Australia are all places I would expect to do better.
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 20mo ago
Replying to
@statsguy @distrowatch Interesting, it does ban Distrowatch in New Zealand. Two of my comments were deleted a day or two back do it's not just the seppos being censored
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago

I’m a comedian not an actor. Stop telling me to “Break a leg!”

When my wife was a custom #baker, I used to tell her to “Crack an egg.”

Why not tell me to “Crack a joke” instead?

mastodon.nz
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 4mo ago
Replying to
@alxndr@tech.lgbt @luciedigitalni@aus.social Does that include Stalmer's Labour party?
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@linuxandyarn Unfortunately the differences here are scale and fraudulently selling used equipment as new. in 1992 a computer broker named Paul White died in a car accident. He had bought some used computer equipment from Citibank, included in the job lot were 86 floppy disks with data on them. A court ordered the return of the disks to Citibank who, for "unknown" reasons paid White NZ$15,000. Various rumours circulated, including claims that the disks contained details of illegal financial dealings by senior government MPs and he was killed to prevent disclosure. I think he was just a chancer who went on a drinking spree then tried to drive home, but maybe ... I remember this as in the 1990s I was working in computer security for a large company and when not trying to convince senior managers to not write their passwords on Post-its stuck to the underside of their keyboards I used this as an example on the need for secure disposal of magnetic media. Fast forward to 2013 and a University of Otago PhD graduand named Dax Roberts bought 100 used hard drives. 24 of these contained "contained 'concerning' private information." I'm sure there are many many more cases, but I have been out of computer security for 28 years so don't pay as much attention as I used to. https://www.afr.com/politics/nz-agog-over-computer-brokers-crash-death-19920911-k54ch
afr.com
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Open post
Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@warandpeas@mastodon.social Extremists of all stripes can't stand being mocked, and if a political cartoonist isn't mocking power, they are not doing their job. The original NAZIs included New Zealand born British editorial cartoonist David Low in the Sonderfahndungsliste G.B. ("Special Search List Great Britain"), a secret list of prominent British residents to be arrested and potentially executed, produced in 1940 by the SS as part of the preparation for the proposed invasion of Britain.
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago

I don’t believe in #karma.

I’m still trying to decide how I feel about korma!

mastodon.nz
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago

I've come to the conclusion that conspiracy theorists bypass #Occam's razor in favour of Occam's epilator!

mastodon.nz
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 9mo ago
Replying to
@astro_jcm Unfortunately killed by the copyright owner changing the license in 1995 from a BSD style to one that prohibited redistribution of modified versions. Unfortunately 10 years later XFree86 made a similar mistake changing the licence from the MIT one to something with an advertising clause. Once the dust had settled, we had a deaf XFree86 & a lively X.org "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it" -- most likely writer and philosopher George Santayana I wasn't worried, I used elm until I moved to a GUI based mail client.
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 16mo ago
Replying to
@gabe_sky@infosec.exchange Libre office also has a built-in QR code generator
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 16mo ago
Replying to
@ninawillburger@social.anoxinon.de It's scary that the Roman original looks a lot more like the planes we used in intermediate school (10-12 yr old students) than the reconstruction.
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago

I don’t want to seem irrational but I can never remember if #numbers are real or imaginary or both and that’s integral to a complex problem!

mastodon.nz
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Julia Clement @juliaclement@mastodon.nz
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@dozens@tiny.tilde.website That's minor. I think I've got importer syndrome, the feeling that all my success comes from overseas.
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