Bitches, I AM GRADUATED.
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helplessduck
@helplessduck@beige.party
mastodon 4.6.6The terror that quacks in the night.
Follow me for clever tricks and miserable advice.
Call me: He/Him/Michael/Arrogant Jackass.
758 Followers
1190 Following
50 Posts
Joined May 16, 2025
Previous home:
Location:
On a little pond, in the mddle of nowhere
The Princess is Awake: A Tragedy in Four Frames.
Someone was just informed by the household parliamentarian that there is no legal or historical precedent for cats eating sashimi-grade tuna. Ever. And, very certainly never twice in the same week.
Not enough rain, but plenty of potatoes.
The ridiculous size of the modern roaster chicken is a conspiracy. Big Meat™️ and the Lodge cookware company want you to think a seven pound chicken is perfectly normal, but it's not.
It took a while, but I've finally been victimized by the US medical billing/insurance nightmare. I've been on the phone for six hours and have to wait thirty days for a resolution.
The moral of the story is to always open your mail and never trust anyone to do the job they are paid to do, even if, and maybe especially if they explicitly say they are going to do it.
Replying to
If anyone is selling two year medically induced comas that I can call an extended vacation or research sabbatical or something?
Replying to
@cinderdazzle612@apobangpo.space
It'd be cheaper for me to pick up a raging cocaine habit. 😂
Sweetie. Darling. It's a LaCroix.
Replying to
@Lizette603_23@mastodon.social
I was thinking that if I put pockets into it, it could make a lovely sleeping gown.
Replying to
@Lizette603_23@mastodon.social
As a soon to be impoverished grad student, I don't think I can afford a balcony. Or smoking. Or shopping.
Replying to
@SnowyCA@social.vivaldi.net
The helpless stays. I make more friends that way.
Thank you!!
Replying to
@MedeaVanamonde@beige.party
Do you want me to put on the gown to throw the temper tantrum, or...
Replying to
@MedeaVanamonde@beige.party
I expect you arranged some kind of festival on the west coast to celebrate my ascendance? How is that going? What's the attendance like?
Replying to
@SRLevine@neuromatch.social
THANKS! I'm still on the fence on if the gnashing of the teeth was worth it. That woman could still ruin my life. Final grades are due Wednesday!
Replying to
@ozeng@aus.social
Thanks so much!
Mom, who was taking the pics, lamented that it hadn't worked out perfectly. But this is much much better.
Replying to
@CStamp@mastodon.social
It's a canard to lure people into my traps. But don't tell anyone.
Thank you!!
Replying to
@VWDasher@mymasto.com
Oh, I am. I'm not belittling it. I'm just... (I dunno probably too acutely) aware of where I am on the ladder?
Replying to
@djm62@beige.party
Can you do things to this?
https://cryptpad.fr/doc/#/2/doc/edit/ESyRp10Q2fWEWtWZJI6pE6b3/
Replying to
@djm62@beige.party
I wonder if that bug is just in Waterfox? I just opened it in Firefox on my iPhone and the keyboard worked.
Replying to
@Edelruth@mastodon.online
If you're planning on tracking this, I want to thank you for the sacrifice you're making.
Replying to
@akamran@indieweb.social
Thank you!!! I actually do remember that bit, but I must have seen it in re-runs? Should I have told mom, "no, you ruined it?" 😂