A group of rich old men was sitting at an outdoor table I was walking by this morning (I work in an affluent neighborhood). I overheard them teaming up on one who was like, "maybe the global warming thing is real, like it's the ozone or something?"
I walked over and was like, "hey guys, just letting you know that the Ozone thing is fixed. We got together, changed what we put in refrigerators, and solved it."
One guy was like, "I bought a TON of the old stuff and still use it! HAHA!"
so I was like, "Well guys, I guess we know which one of you likes pissing in the pool."
The guys got a laugh out of it. Then I pivoted.
"You ever drive down the highway and see hawks?"
"Yes"
"I didn't see a hawk until I was fourteen years old. I spent six years in the woods every weekend and never saw a bird of prey. We got together and fixed the DDT thing too, just like the ozone. I get to see hawks because my parents generation decided to fix a problem. Global warming is real, and you're choosing whether or not to fix it for my kids. By all means, make fun of the bamboo toothbrushes and plastic bag bans, but don't pretend this isn't real and not all of our responsibility to fix."
