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Paper Moon
@TazPoltorak@fosstodon.org
mastodon 4.7.3Arts, stats, cats, metal detectors, sewing and much shitposting. Slowly dipping my toe into Linux.
My Pixelfed: https://pixelfed.social/i/web/profile/784089729351443634
#Photography #Filmmaking #Cinematography #Japanesefilm #Japan #data #rstats #analytics #datascience #fineart #painting #airbrush #illustration #youtuber #cookingvideos #scifi #cyberpunk #anime #fedi22 #metaldetecting #medieval #history #sewing #GarmentDesign #fashion #sashiko #secretlondon
#cosycore #cottagecore
🇺🇦 🇬🇧
235 Followers
183 Following
50 Posts
Joined November 06, 2022
Replying to
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party
In the voice of Sir David Attenborough:
'Welcome to the digital undergrowth. A place far away from the screeching X-site and the bile of Meta.
Behold the Mastodon user! Shhh. Don’t startle them with a promoted post or an algorithmic 'For You' feed. They are sensitive to such disturbances.
Truly, they are the kindest of the great apes. A rare, decentralised species that has looked at the chaos of the modern world and decided, quite simply, to be... pleasant.'
Replying to
@miffyhelen@beige.party I remember my parents telling me to wave like that when I was little. Now when I do it, I feel happy , like I am 5 again.
Some years ago I dressed as a mime, together with friends. We sailed along the canal from Sowerby Bridge to Salterhebble and back , waving at small children and getting them to wave back, pulling mime faces and everything. It was the most fun I had in a long time.
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@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party Imagine at the end of your haircut, instead of a warm towel, you get a liver treat and a scratch behind the ear while your barber says 'who is a handsome boy?'
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@cmconseils looking after children is like being in Jumanji but you also have to clean the jungle.
Wishing you all a lovely day and lovely weekend. I have a million things to do this morning, then a #sewing session at the local art cenre, and then I am off to see my girlfriend in Suffolk, where I am staying whole next week. The plan is to enjoy picnics in the park, sew new clothes and not think about work. I got my mum to babysit my #Cats
Replying to
@stevegis_ssg@mas.to @Nickiquote@mstdn.social @amiserabilist@beige.party @steggy@sunny.garden @TheBreadmonkey@beige.party @chiraag@mastodon.online
The world can do with more random accidental sexiness.
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@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party Although I should note this: before I met my girlfriend, I encountered many dating profiles of women who openly stated that this is the kind of man they were looking for. I couldn't be more grateful that my girlfriend likes me—purple hair, sewing hobby, and hummus recipes.
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@LilahTovMoon@tech.lgbt When I was studying, I would open my second laptop for one of my cats, and it looked like we were both studying.
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@sheepnik @TheBreadmonkey I am observing a very noticeable increase in improbable ads and comments that promote paid services with improbable relevance to the original subject. It's quite possible thrse are generated by AI on the spot.
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- Let's put this head in a sack of potatoes for safekeeping.
- Yes, but how do we explain a tentfull of men in the bedroom?
- Oh we'll just say they are camping next to that tree growing by the bed.
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@kinsale42 @GayDeceiver Tha Latin 'rapio' is Vulgata's 4th century tranlation of the Greek 'harpazo', meaning 'to snatch, to carry away'. – This is the word used in the Thessalonians quoted above.
Personally, I would much prefer to be spirited away by the Japanese gods in the Miyazaki's anime.
I am at a family cooking event in a park. The kids are making pizzas. As a former chef, I am furious bc we are going about it all wrong. I am trying to keep calm and not go all Gordon Ramsay 😤😁
Apparently, a good thing to do in this heat is to play badminton. I have just found the best spot in the gym.
The weirdest rain I've ever seen.
Is someone feeling gloomy in that particular house?
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@miffyhelen@beige.party Thinking about it, I really miss walking along the canal. I used to walk to Hebden sometimes, that was my usual route. I really should go visit the place soon.
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@amiserabilist@beige.party @TheBreadmonkey@beige.party same here, I missed the beginning of the goose thing. I know they saved Rome.🪿
Office lingo is something I really hate. People can hide behind it when they don't have much to say, and for some weird reason they believe it makes you sound professional. In my professional opinion, it makes one sound like a wanker.
I mean, in real life you don't reach out to your next door neighbours with regards to touching base on optimising your bin day operations!
When I am the king of England, I'll forbid to talk like that.
Replying to
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party There's probably nothing more fragile than the ego of such a man navigating a brunch menu like a minefield, scared that one sip of mimosa will make his beard fall off and be replaced with a silk scarf. The food isn't manly to him if it doesn't require a tetanus shot and a signed waiver. He might be wondering if 'it 's gay' to have a digestive system, and if he needs vitamin C, he would rather stare at the sun till his eyeballs sizzle than touch a blueberry.
Replying to
@mrundkvist following that conversation I created a painting called Career Advisor: Follow My Example.
https://www.deviantart.com/tazpoltorak/art/Career-Advisor-Follow-My-Example-285207894
The advisor in question later saw it and read my description underneath. She tried to claim she'd never said any of it and I said, yes you did. She never suggested anything like that to me again.
Replying to
@InsiderTreat I’ll curse the wind until it blows us toward gold, and I’ll swear at the very stars until they align for our plunder! May a hundred sharks blow me if I don't make a kraken blush!
For a long time, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of #reading a story to children. Today, I finally ticked that off my bucket list! We read How It All Began by Terry Pratchett. Afterward, they asked questions, and we talked about what progress means—how people can be scared of it and sometimes get things wrong, but progress keeps going anyway.
I’m feeling so happy and fulfilled right now.
Suffolk is going from 32°C today to 16°C and rain tomorrow. I am currently outside doing a rain dance, praying for a thunderstorm, and preparing to apologise to my winter coats for everything I said about them. 🌧️🙏
Replying to
@artcollisions@vis.social Yes, thank you 😊 This is my first full time experience of sharing the responsibility of looking after children and I think my girlfriend is a very patient person. The kids have informed me that I am ok bc I have a lot of interesting stories, I have cats and they also keep the count of how many new things I have cooked for them, so apparently, I will do.
When my girlfriend's son is older and brings home his first partner, I am going to walk into his room at the most interesting moment without knocking to ask if he thinks Pokémon are real.
Replying to
@TheBreadmonkey A superfunny thing to play and watch! Also, it's been fun to read all the comments and see how opinions divided into yeah and wtf. I confess, I would probably want to play this.
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@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party Maybe it's their meat-to-veg ratio or, maybe it's their appearance-to-insecurity ratio.
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@alipunk@thecanadian.social Is it just me or does the doll look like it wants to invade Iran?
Replying to
@miffyhelen I have my scraping appointment at the end of April and I am not looking forward to it at all.
Well done!
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@jjcelery@mastodon.ie This is a much better way of putting things. I hate that one about the elefant because poor elefant. From now on I'll be burning small fires too!
Replying to
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party When I was younger and stupid, my girlfriend at the time and I decided to walk from Scarborough to Robin Hood's Bay, because it's less than an inch on the map. We set off at 12 and got there for 9pm. We should have taken water with us and hayfeaver tablets because, surprisingly, there's sweet FA on the way. And it's all up and down all the time.
Not doing that again but I wish you the best of luck.
Replying to
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party @KaraLG84@dragonscave.space You would be so positive, you'd be losing electrons everywhere! 😁
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@medieval_illuminations@mastodon.social When the sum of squares hits you right in the face
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@joeroe @mrundkvist Some people don't mind stacking shelves in a supermarket while for others it can cause serious mental health problems because they are ill-suited for it while they could be doing things more suitable, and be happy.
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@space_cadet@aus.social As a man with blue hair, I must protest against this blatant sexism 😁
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@evacide@hachyderm.io I only make it weird if I try to be nice. If I pretend to be nice - THAT is weird to me.
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Sour cream with 2% fat content is the first step towards alcohol-free beer and a blowup doll.
I warned my girlfriend’s 8-year-old about the peak male ritual of ordering weaponised spicy food just to weep in front of other men.
It was meant as a cautionary tale. Instead, his inner caveman heard a challenge.
He ate the chilli, broke the sound barrier sprinting to the bathroom to eject it, and inhaled a pint of milk like a man extinguishing a house fire with a water pistol.
Welcome to manhood, kid. Next week, we’ll practice staring blankly at a car engine we don't know how to fix.