I SAW BISON
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plutonian
@plut0nian@jorts.horse
mastodon 4.3.0-alpha.3+glitch
this is not a place of honor. nothing valued is here.
resident librarian and elder emo. detroiter recently transplanted to seattle. mother of tarantulas and a friend to all spiders. very enthusiastic about ridiculous things. in my vampire milf era.
🖤💖 @scattapilla@jorts.horse 💖🖤
header image by @dank@jorts.horse 🦫
301 Followers
186 Following
50 Posts
Joined November 25, 2024
pronouns:
she / her / it / its
i'm not okay:
(i promise)
it's just like the mashed potatoes!!
i get to kiss my girlfriend and see jimmy eat world today :) :)
posts i could have made in 2006 or 2026. the more things change
slow blinking at everyone on the train who makes eye contact with me to show them that i love and trust them
it's my first day at work and i'm taking the gay little train to my gay little job. wish me luck lodge
people on jorts post too good. our bitches too bad. our piss is too strong. they'll kill us
Replying to
featuring the 3 moods of 2026
1) SCREAMING
2) ALSO SCREAMING
3) traumatized
dumpster gone. junk hauled. house empty. wagon packed. we are off.
just a short day today but it has officially begun. day 1 on the oregon trail. SEATTLE OR BUST
went to the hazardous waste disposal site and they wouldn't let me play in the hazardous waste. :neigh: :neigh: this frog is gatekeeping the hazardous waste.
poetry found on a staff locker:
no unclean booty will fart in your mouth
Replying to
@gay_milhouse you look adorable and you continue to own the best shirts i have ever seen in my life
Replying to
@dank@jorts.horse @glencoe@jorts.horse cabin camping with parappa legitimately sounds like the best trip ever
Replying to
@Ananas@jorts.horse every time i hit that favorite button i am placing a gentle kiss of appreciation upon your forehead. just remember that
Replying to
@dank@jorts.horse @glencoe@jorts.horse yesss come on over!! ashley is fantastic at making dumplings, and i am great at offering moral support while she makes dumplings
Replying to
@Jaqspur@jorts.horse i absolutely would were i not in that awkward period btw jobs 😭 (no insurance, once again i stupidly thought to myself "i can go a month without it!" the last time i made that decision i tore my knee up during the jobless time and got caught with a huge bill. but i will never learn)
Replying to
@NickGates next time you visit seattle we'll get you a rice krispie hot dog and you'll be a believer. trust me. :smugbert:
Replying to
@NickGates i am identifying with grandpa simpson more and more i'm afraid
also this gif deserves more time in the sun
Replying to
@HCBunny unfortunately he looked like he was about 20 years old, otherwise i might have proposed on the spot
Replying to
@dank@jorts.horse @glencoe@jorts.horse WHY did i not crash one of your camping trips while i was still in the midwest, you live an amazing life
Replying to
@Ananas@jorts.horse this reply is so brilliant that i wish i could give you some kind of award for it
Replying to
@NickGates i think you really should. i will treat you to a hot dog. :)
i am absolutely going to california as soon as i possibly can!!
Replying to
@rood oh damn i forgot there was a third bison. so privileged to see the bison-est of all bison species today 🙏
Replying to
@glencoe if i weren't so lazy i'd climb to the top to see the secret government facility!
Replying to
@HCBunny@beige.party i would have thrown a lit match in the back to see what would happen. definitive answer
:honks: i'm back online :doge:
:nothonks: i was forced into the arms of comcast once again. I VOW REVENGE
first meal in seattle: a hot dog, ashley style 🖤
i scrunched up my car (just a little, no one else was hit) and it was so stressful that i forgot to be horny about it. disappointed in myself. 😔 you gotta take the time to appreciate the little moments in life
snake orgy. snorgy
top notch seattle activity: getting a little high and petting the moss on all the trees
i have done more Adulting in the past couple of weeks than i have in my entire life. i am earning an excellent grade in Adulting
we're at the car show deciding which car is the most fuckable