Replying to
@sluttymayo this always baffled me when i was a kid.
Remote
ol' dirty
@oldirty@jorts.horse
mastodon 4.3.0-alpha.3+glitch
~
Out of his deep on a 'fore day run
Hurtin' for sleep in the Quaalude moonlight
~
profile pic:
a human male with one hand raised afront a red background: captain beefheart, wearing a green suit jacket, a fur stole and a tall black hat with shuttlecock atop it. he's wearing a trout mask replica on his face. it's really a carp.
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38 Posts
Joined July 01, 2023
pronouns:
he/him
skulls?:
idk, ask glenn.
wu-tang:
is for the children
posts?:
ephemeral af
Replying to
@plut0nian it's extremely off putting if you're in the front passenger seat at the stop sign, especially if in a higher vehicle. i also really wonder why they have a lone bison on a small parcel of land.
Replying to
@plut0nian some freaks not far from me have a fucking bison in their front yard. there is a stop sign on the corner, so if you stop, the fucking guy is sometimes right there.
Replying to
@plut0nian if you aren't aware, you generally become aware and see giant eyes looking directly at you, then see it's a fucking buffalo. it's extremely fun after that initial WTF?
Replying to
@plut0nian immediately thought of this lyric snippet:
"When you clean out the hive
Does it make you wanna cry?
Are you still being followed
By the teenage FBI?"
Replying to
@MediumWasTedium@kolektiva.social ahhh yes, the...liberty dumplings...have...wait, what?
"the stock market is up" is the most sophisticated response in existence to most any question you wish to avoid.
ex:
q:did you rape and/or eat babies?
a:the stock market is up
people who schedule shit for friday that could wait till monday will not obtain salvation, because i will fucking haunt your bastard souls.
i stopped paying attention to ycomb cuz those capitalismnerds are the worst, so someone needs to tell me how long some claude vibescode bs has been perpetually #1
you never hear any good "cheap landlord hurts self badly trying to be a " stories. this relentless suppression must stop.
two nines? unless we talking firearms, we must now fight.
always funny to blow up a public toilet with the urine that comes from black coffee and not much else.
imagine believing polling is a valid methodology for determining outcomes
local news asks for help catching shoplifters. man, fuck all these people.
president assheart, listen to his fartbeat
it occurs to me that i might be required to teach some human how to read entirely myself at some point and this is a terrible occurrence, because no one was meant to learn something that important entirely from me.
overslept and no one noticed. did i oversleep?
Replying to
internet doctor, i failed orgasms - they just aren't for me. what else can i try?
idk, drugs?
gonna get a "please be mindful of the flaps" tshirt printed, because mindfulness.
just saw a quality joke. nicely done.
hakeem jeffries has been abandoned by his ancestors, because shame. so sad for poor hakeem.
people say shit to me all the time that is completely unrelatable. pretty sure this is a sign i need to talk to other people.
people all over the world are going "wow, i thought I was an asshole, but then i realized i never made canada mad..."
new afghan whigs, gimmie.
post sex male and his young parkinsons dog, on the next geraldo
brew using absolute paths with version numbers for packages was certainly a choice. love to need to bump versions in my shell config.