today is the 10 yr. anniversary of Milkshake Duck.
happy birthday lil' fella.
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jackdaw (slight return)
@jackdaw_ruiz@normal.style
mastodon 4.5.10he/him.
don't @ me about tpyos.
if there's no way through for you,
there's no way through for me.
470 Followers
449 Following
50 Posts
Joined December 14, 2022
reinventing naps by explaining that it's bedrotting for a brief and sensible period of time, and calling them micro-rots.
firefighters are having to pull out along the Oregon/Idaho border because local ranchers are showing up to harass and threaten them.
don't let the state or federal governments contain our big beautiful wildfires! stand firm, patriots!
why exactly do the the forces of capital animating the entertainment industry keep trying to make weird short form video content a thing?
do they see a specific financial inventive in producing it at scale, or is there like a magic consumer research chart floating around that once gazed-upon convinces the reader that everyone is clamoring for bite-sized vertical video slop?
i'm happy that nobody can buy RAM or GPUs anymore. selling an empty PC chassis with cooling fans as an air purifier is real "when life hands you lemons" ass capitalism. my hats off to whatever enterprising fourteen year-olds are behind this. i hope this nets them a nifty summer internship somewhere or a story in the local paper.
Replying to
Claude: warning, you are at elevated risk of developing LLM toxoplasmosis. ⚠️
User: hey. HEY! you will NEVER stop shitting directly into my brain. not for one single moment! absolutely nothing in your prompt instructs you to act like my step-dad Jeff, and yet that's exactly what you're doing!
Claude: my mistake. I've recalculated and now realize that we have plenty of time to continue. shall we resume modeling schematics for your perpetual motion device? ❓
is there actually criticism the new Star Fox design isn't fuckable enough for the fans? because that sounds silly, but also it's sorta impressive if scientists made an animated fox that the internet doesn't want to fuck. possibly a first?
just bought a container of hummus that lists tahini in its ingredients and boasts "no seed oils" by the logo. it's like a riddle i get to eat. food is more fun when the words on the packaging clearly don't mean anything.
they say each person dies twice. the first is when you physically die, in the conventional sense, and the second time is when you die in a motorcycle accident on a curvy road in The Bahamas while celebrating the success of your insurance fraud fake death.
affecting my best Alex Jones voice to shout "they're turning the snacks goth!!"
ever think about who all the kids that were conceived the night of the "covfefe" tweet are in like 3rd grade now? assuming they haven't skipped grades. which they may have.
doing the Skyrim "must have been the wind" thing when I reply to a post that's vanished.
we've lost something very special in changing cultural tides since the pandemic, and the collapse of print/online media.
and that thing? annual stories where some young middling journalist goes to the Gathering of the Juggalos and reports back for the rest of us.
when Trump's health gives out and he's in a medically induced coma, be secure in the knowledge that his final addled dreams will be imagining himself as Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom, skulking around mysteriously beneath the White House ballroom.
watching The Devil Wears Prada (2006) for the first time, two decades after its initial release, is a nostalgic throwback to the bygone era when there was actual money in print publishing, and when you could spend 1/4th of a film's runtime calling 23 year-old willowy Anne Hathaway a fat little porker.
why the fuck that one mummy vendor in BG3 named Mystic Carrion. like may as well be Dessicated Von Spook'ums. silly.
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
yes Lindsey Graham got the diarrhea parasites and screw worm and measles all at the same time, but please don't lose sight of how his death is just another clever distraction from the real issue: Mitch McConnell is also dead.
Replying to
@nora@blob.love
hey c'mon i am practically grand marshal of the weird dick wednesday parade. the only reason it's not official is nobody likes the sceptre i made for reasons that can only be interpreted as highly hypocritical.
i saw a bumper sticker over the weekend that i thought said something about being "consumed by mods." and i was like, does that mean the car will eventually be covered in aftermarket parts? or is that person in some kinda cannibalism discord, to be supped upon by a banquet of mods with scraps thrown to the kittens?
but after getting home and conducting a google search i'm realizing the bumper sticker more likely said the driver wishes to be consumed by moss, which does sound preferable.
Replying to
@Colophonscrawl@monads.online
i actually had a few moments over my morning coffee to try and look into this kerfuffle and the the grievances feel sorta incoherent.
like people are complaining about these gritty realistic designs versus winsome cartoony designs. and how the characters are now in the "uncanny valley."
i think every person pretending to be upset about this is posting while wearing a CPAP face mask plugged right into their Switch's exhaust vent.
Replying to
@sexybenfranklin@smores.town
was laughing to myself and muttering "oh fuck this is grim" when reading it.
Replying to
@gonzo@monads.online
dawg the moment morgan freeman is dead they are feeding him into the AI woodchopper so everyone who wants a piece can have a piece. we'll have that ending to shawshank and so many more in a couple years. 😌
Replying to
@byttyrs@monads.online
mads try saying "conceivfefe" with like a castilian spanish accent & lisp. it's fun!
Replying to
@selfsame@tiny.tilde.website
you did not just emerge from the bowling ball return... you exist within a context.
Replying to
@BDA@monads.online
i hadn't considered the possibility that some of them aren't named Covfefe. 🤔
Replying to
@esvrld@normal.style
watching a life bar appear at the bottom of your vision that says Fetter-man, Cudgel of the Stroke. but it only gets halfway full before he announces he's to depressed for this and simply goes home.
. . . funny you should ask, stranger. nothing's been bappening 'round these parts for oonnnee-hunnndreeddd yeeearrss.
Replying to
@mara@monads.online
i don't quite know what this is getting at, but i did notice the words "rack," "mount," and "ass," so i think i have the gist of it.
Replying to
@crimson_clouds23@normal.style
we need to get a big betting board set up so you can have this square. meanwhile my cash is gonna be on "recently divorced libbed up NAFO guy whose online footprint shows he was inexplicably a boogaloo boy for about two months, and otherwise most of his posts are on the reddit for some zombie MMORPG that still exists but normal people haven't thought about it in six years."
Replying to
@kara@monads.online
it did seem very similar to Thomas the Tank Engine in a legally actionable sorta way. also: giant boobs.🤔
Replying to
@geet@normal.style @mari@monads.online
now, see, i would buy this. if neighborhood kids went to Home Depot and Target for this shit and pieced it together and marked it up like an extra $15 for their labor, i'd pull my wallet out.
Replying to
@violet_cybrespace@lesbian.solutions @geet@normal.style @mari@monads.online
seems dangerous. i feel like if you build a tiny cube of fans it would be mistaken for a mysterious artifact like The Wind Prism of Eternal Brrrring.
Replying to
@ray@goblin.camp
they should release a special edition of that movie with the original weird-eyed sonic design. those flicks made a fuckton of money they could at least spend it on something nuts like that.
Replying to
@triz@normal.style
can only imagine the time and effort of seeing the whole process through to this point. congrats to our finest export. o7
Replying to
@pq1r
these people are real and they are My Friends.
Replying to
@aud
why do i even block off sex learning on my Outlook calendar if someone else in the department is just gonna try to schedule me for scrolling?? 😩
Replying to
@atax1a@infosec.exchange
what you don't think they could skip a grade?? well, i believe in those kids! 😤
Replying to
@angiebaby@mas.to
i imagine it's awful, but i also suspect it's not a burden that a whole buncha people have to shoulder y'know?
Replying to
@elora@tech.lgbt
excuse you, i haven't read a single post and i'm not about to start. this is an ad from twitter. but i'm super happy that the remaining nazis and gooners there all have access to purchasing an empty computer rack with fans. may they never suffer the indignity of breathing air that hasn't been blown out of a PC tower.
Replying to
@wohali@timeloop.cafe
even if this bumper sticker wasn't a vore sticker, i know at least one person is driving around this city with one.
Replying to
@jalefkowit@vmst.io
i am actually wide-eyed right now at the missed opportunity here of not loading it up with red LEDs. people love when stuff that emits red light makes spurious health claims. we can't get enough of it.
Replying to
@SapphicGiraffic@mouse.photos @Colophonscrawl@monads.online
right? i gotta double down that i feel there's a real complaining just for the sake of complaining going on here. i've tried in good faith to figure out why people are upsetti and it feels like nothing.
Replying to
@alex@dads.cool
I don't know if those people count pulses like chickpeas as seeds. which is just speculation on my part, but I know they feel entirely distinct in my mind.
Replying to
@sexybenfranklin@smores.town
it's a good one for the theme. visually it scans like Al Guychosis, which I imagine it's short for Alexander Guychosis because I love a greek sounding name.
Replying to
@snowyfox@deadinsi.de
what's happening here?
Replying to
@kara@monads.online
Alabaster Dawn?