does my form frighten you?

‘ozempic simulator’ 2027 steam game awards game of the year

what if there was an aesthetic movement called 'hollandcore' where you larped being dutch

only a hellscape like todays america can make a man ‘miss lettuce’

the more time passes, the funnier demaning that fedi 'brings back turban sage' will become

ex wives tier list

chavo trap house, it's just like chapo trap house but every line is redubbed to sound like el chavo del ocho is saying it

can never excreate from my mind the tweet that was like "hunter x hunter is a story about a boy whose dad goes out 'for a pack of cigarettes' to never return, and instead of going on an adventure to find his dad the boy decides to go on an adventure to find out what's so good about cigarettes"

yeah im metrosexual. i fuck the trains

i can’t believe a reddit atheist forcefemmed claude

starting a hoax on facebook that consuming the dried + smoked flesh of 100 ABA 'therapists' will cure autism in children

oh god i log off for a couple weeks and now there's so many fucking follow requests. are my posts really that good + desirable?

my hope for the future is to be attacked by a pack of those GMO dire wolves from a few years ago

okay fans: which dostoevsky character do YOU most wish to see in fortnite?

what the fuck is a fighting type pokemon. they all fight

they should invent a type of firework which produces explosions only audible to our murderous veterans

are there any android apps that let you run even older android apps that your android installation won't run?

mr bean and g man from half life are the same species imo

the person who finally successfully assassinates trump WILL be a smol bean with a tumblr blog dedicated to Helluva Boss Pornography

🎶darth caroline
bum
Bum
BUM🎶

it would be very easy for it to happen on accident. preferably the toilet related kind of accident (such as slipping and breaking head open on a toilet)

sometimes i cook up posts intended for specific people. when those people boost them, that lets me know they would be very easy to poison

who cares about 'marry me' recipes. what of 'i want a divorce' recipes?

im addicted to blood yeag. no not like in a vampire way but like just having it in my body. if i dont have it i’ll go into a terrible withdrawal… any tips for kicking this habit?

darth mouth

gooners rejoice: you can still jack off to the new ‘star fox’ character models if you aren’t such a little whiny baby about it

(getting repeated ads for the book of mormon) but at least its not AI slop amirite boys?

starting a new youtube channel called the critical twinker

my posts are not admissible as evidence in a court of law

top 10 forbidden cooking hacks nobody should EVER know about

if i were to invent a weapon i would call it a 'cunny' so as to make it hard to take seriously

so if i'm getting this right, light in death note being named light is roughly culturally equivalent to if the serial killer in an american show was named braddlynnn

we need to make the online less safe for adults. that’s real equality. btw on an unrelated note can anybody give me back and front pics of their credit cards? it’s for uhhh research

why's it called burnout cafe and not crashout cafe

every morning i wake up at 5, i chug a full gallon of vinegar, i read the latest entry of the 'christian science monitor' while vigorously jacking off, i go to the park and kill a loyal republican voter with a wife and children using nothing but my teeth, after eating the entire body i go on a nine hour run in a randomly picked itch.io artistic walking sim, and then i go to bed

posts set to delete after 4000 years

writing a letter to several government officials trying to convince them to invade Love Island and install a democratic puppet regime there

(to the tube of ‘celebration time’) impregnation time

simultaneously romance favorable, romance repulsed, and romance neutral. & i don’t want a mixrolabel for this experience as i think everyone who wants to know irl should be forced to listen to how it works in great detail

indapenis day

where’s the george x. bush post

if you don’t deliberately buy and eat the lettuce that gives you parasitic food poisoning, you’re a fake parasite fetishist 😤

RE: @Malak1999@mastodon.social

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read a research paper about making shiitake mushrooms into a computer earlier today. finally science is set to fulfilling my deepest sexual fantasy of being able to Eat A Computer

i feel that invincible and hazbin hotel should have their brainrot styles swapped. it's what they both deserve