Remote
Z
@Z@jorts.horse
mastodon 4.3.0-alpha.3+glitch
Jocose paralogician.
Posting harder, not smarder.
If I post a screenshot, it is not real.
My pronouns are: do NOT use words to ever refer to me.
Rated NSFW 18+ for language, foodgore, suggestive themes.
853 Followers
102 Following
50 Posts
Joined September 27, 2022
I am a whale and this is my mental map of earth
men only want one thing and it's discussing :(
local clownspeople livid about use of slur, "bonkers"
do not cite the deep shitposts to me witch, I was there when it was written
logging in like
logging in like
you know.. if you take everything I've accomplished in my entire life and condense it down into one day, it looks like a pretty decent horror film
logging in like
ladies and gentlemen, the weekend
u know what? fuck this..
*I put on my robe an wizard hat*
teamed up with a complete breakfast to make this post
new type of cheese that blows your nuts clean off (gender affirming)
going for a wee jog every day so I'm prepared for any situation that demands cowardice or arriving a few seconds early
hey i noticed u changed ur relationship status from Costco Shopper to Trader Joe's Shopper,
scientists have invented a way to piss underwater but the government is keeping it secret from the people
with the big irony on his hipster
omg just realized there's less than a year to next festivus
who up gradin they nas
you wouldn't... rim a world
posting my way into the heart of saturday night
catch u on tha flippity dip, cowpoke
3am in bed, sweating in a panic wondering if I was the author of the federalist papers and just forgot
logging in like
if you're good at something, never do it for free. if you're bad at it, just charge a little less.
logging in like
hast thy tongue and take my coin, knave
A doctor wishes me sick,
A farmer wishes me hungry,
A teacher wishes me ignorant,
But only a thief wishes me wealthy and relaxed!
using ai to filter out seeing ai is the dumbest fukken shit i ever heard
parents, children, cousins today... even weird uncles are all having different cell phone area codes :pensive_skull: smdh
you wouldn't
bang a rang
actually, I prefer "release candidate".. .
capitalism is wearing a watch to bed
what's a healthy range for body/ass index?
my nonverbal bandmate, tinnitus
all:
sorry for writing
"stroke 'em if you got'em"
on our coworker's
Get Well Soon e-card.
I know now that
I vow to be better
in the future
(he had an aneurysm,
not a stroke).
wanting more realistic graphics makes u an old. modpack upscaled textures? 65 & up behavior. looking at a photo? nonagenarian coded realmaxxing
¡pst!
〘 el frijol susurra a medianoche 〙
my love life can be readily described using the exact same adjectives as a bbq restaurant bathroom
3D printed toilet
the toot of all evil