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Stanley Nerdlinger II

@Nerde@beige.party
mastodon 4.6.6
  • Open on beige.party

Purveyor of original comedy bronze humor - it’s a smaller niche market than comedy gold. I save some of my jokes for my own entertainment using #nerlingersjokes (yeah, I spelled it wrong but too lazy to fix it). I follow Philly sports. My hobbies are sitting in chairs, exploring various canned soups, and searching the refrigerator for wherever that smell is coming from.

865 Followers
477 Following
50 Posts
Joined November 27, 2024
Open post
Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 3w ago
If I were a conman promising product improvements at break neck speed, and I knew I couldn’t deliver on that promise, I’d say the product was improving so fast that I had to slow down on the improvements “for safety reasons”. Just saying, if I was a conman that’s what I’d do. 🤷 #AI
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
BREAKING - OpenAI announces their new AI model that autonomously commits crimes will be running for President in 2028
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 1mo ago
I ruined our dinner because I forgot to add that 1 bay leaf the recipe calls for, said no one ever. #nerlingersjokes #bayleavesareBS
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
I Heard It Through The Party Line #1960sLifeASongOrPoem #HashTagGames
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago

I was up at 7 to let some cool fresh air in the house. The #dogs got up with me. It’s now 9:45 and the dogs’ batteries are down to 10%. It’s for them to recharge with a nap until 3:30 😂

beige.party
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
From Here to What Seemed Like Eternity #LongDayMovies #HashTagGames
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
I felt down today when I opened my closet and discovered my puffer jacket was ripped open. FELT….. DOWN, ladies and gentlemen 🤨 #puns #nerlingersjokes
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Open post
Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social @spocko@mastodon.online @jimstewartson@toad.social @strypey@mastodon.nzoss.nz This is how all cults operate. https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/data-breach-exposes-secrets-peter-thiel-dialog-retreat-1803198
ibtimes.co.uk
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
With all this talk about fixed elections, they must be planning something really big to fix the midterms. Every accusation is a confession
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@cmconseils@mastodon.social I just finished eating a tomato sandwich 😂
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 1mo ago
Replying to
@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Life Hack!
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
BREAKING - US Department of Justice to bring terrorism charge against anyone that says “it’s too hot”
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@MamasPinkyToe@mastodon.world I wonder how many times the eggplant emoji has been used since its invention. It must be in the 10s by now
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@gildilinie@beige.party @geekysteven@beige.party I’m just going to wait until it’s solves all our problems. What’s the point of using it when it can’t solve our problems? 🤷
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@TransitBiker@urbanists.social @RickiTarr@beige.party it’s almost worth creating an account on shitter just to suggest Elmo should do that
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 1mo ago
Replying to
@drewph@c.im My wife makes Adobo with them, I make it without them. She always laughs when I find them in hers
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@CheapPontoon@beige.party And they want us to believe AI could never replace a CEO?
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Let’s say you ate an early breakfast, then ate your next meal midway between lunch and dinner. What would you call this meal? #poll

Let’s say you ate an early breakfast, then ate your next meal midway between lunch and dinner. What would you call this meal? #poll

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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@billyjoebowers@mastodon.online The house is on fire and they’re afraid to mention it to their abusive father because he’ll get mad.
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Open post
Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@josh@hactivedirectory.com They’ll pay for his posts because he says things to move the market. If you’re ahead of it you can go long or go short and make tons of money. He knows this, so he’s selling access
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@GossiTheDog@cyberplace.social You just have to BELIEVE the slides were correct, because facts don’t matter anymore. MAGA!
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@Nead@social.vivaldi.net Can you imagine how much that throws off their timing! It must seem like it takes a couple of minutes to get to the plate. 😂
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Yesterday was the first day of school for the kids. My kid said the chemistry teacher made potassium explode. That teacher knows how to get the attention of those kids on the first day! 😂. I don’t think he’ll be able to make something else explode every class for the rest of the year though.
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social Perfect!
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@tayfonay@beige.party I was just telling my wife about it 😂
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social They use money as a weapon. They’re stockpiling weapons
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social So they’re free to commit crimes, for one thing. Money is power, they like to remind us
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@EricBono@beige.party Do I have to log in? I followed your instructions and I didn’t see smoke anywhere
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@noplasticshower@infosec.exchange @davidho@mastodon.world They know exactly what they’re doing, dismantling the country.
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Anyone that has been sickened by #cyclosporiasis and is experiencing explosive diarrhea as a result of Elon Musk’s gutting of the FDA, be sure to visit your local Tesla dealership for a test drive
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social Stolen from Venezuela?
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Boosted by @MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social
Replying to
@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social Did it fall off a Taylor Farms lettuce truck? 🥁😂
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Open post
Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 3w ago
Replying to
@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social Their motto - “If it’s MAGA, it has to be a scam!”
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
I hope Trump gives us those promised DOGE refund checks soon, from all that money Elon Musk saved us, because I need it to pay for my explosive diarrhea medication #cyclosporiasis
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
The Median Gatsby
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago

We received a ransom demand from kidnappers with a video attached. I’m not sure if it’s a scam or not because everyone in the family that has seen the video said it really looks like me.

#nerlingersjokes

beige.party
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 3w ago
Replying to
@gerikson@awful.systems @BlueMonday1984@awful.systemshttps://beige.party/@Nerde/117270902508608320
Open quoted post
Quoting
Stanley Nerdlinger II
@Nerde@beige.party
If I were a conman promising product improvements at break neck speed, and I knew I couldn’t deliver on that promise, I’d say the product was improving so fast that I had to slow down on the improvements “for safety reasons”. Just saying, if I was a conman that’s what I’d do. 🤷 #AI
Open quoted post
beige.party

Stanley Nerdlinger II: "If I were a conman promising product improvements…" - beige.party

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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Schitt’s Sleep #SleepyTVShows #HashTagGames
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Just imagine the taxpayer bailout that’s going to be needed to assure none of the billionaires lose any money on this AI boondoggle. By the time it’s over, learning mandarin will be required in all our schools
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@BrianJopek@mastodon.world Duh! That was one of the war’s objectives 🙄
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
We should have seen this explosive diarrhea epidemic coming when Trump won the election, because there were signs
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@MostlyHarmless@thecanadian.social I’m just happy to find that it goes that far back 🤷
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 1mo ago
Replying to
@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social It’s that they all have healthcare, isn’t it? 🤨
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 1mo ago
Replying to
@cjust@infosec.exchange This is how I always travel by air. It’s much safer in the event of a crash
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
I was testing my new AI model and asked it to solve Pi. It escaped my sandbox, hacked into Martha Stewart’s personal cookbook, and invented a brand new recipe for a gluten free crust! And the thing is, I didn’t tell it to do any of that. It did it all by itself! Amazing!
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Replying to
@idren@mstdn.ca
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2w ago
Replying to
@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social He’s going to ban Fox from the White House next 😂
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
Boosted by @MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social
Replying to
@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social Who says the Musks don’t give to charity? “He said the trip had been covered by the Musk Foundation, a private philanthropic organisation founded by Elon Musk and his brother Kimbal Musk.”
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2w ago
Replying to
@MaryAustinBooks@mstdn.social I’ll have to get all my White House news from Al Jazeera now 🤷
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Stanley Nerdlinger II @Nerde@beige.party
· 2mo ago
So there’s a huge plume of smoke to the west of us spread across the sky from some wildfire. You’d think there’d be an app or web page that would show which fire the plume is coming from. Nope. I tried everything I know 👎 AirNow Aircgis Accuweather Cal fire Wildfiretrackers Watch Duty
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