Carryl

#ScribesAndMakers July 30: Smol?

My fanfic kid characters are 5’7” at the most. Don’t call them little, please.

#WritersCoffeeClub #WritingCommunity

30th Jul 2026. End of the month roundup: How well did this month go for you?

Terrible tbh. Too much thought in the way. Got a few bits done.

Was playing BG3 and so sad to find I must have sold part of a weapon needed to make the whole thing. Then I found the part I was thinking of on someone new and, joyous day, I had not mistakenly done that. I was mixing up two that you make from parts you find.

#gaming

Trying the stronger dose of omega 3 and lion’s mane mushroom from Nutrition Geeks. Let my memory be good, and sugar level, when I test it later. Lion’s Mane contains polysaccharides which are a complex carb so not meant to spike sugar. I haven’t noticed an issue with the less powerful one I’d been taking, but I can’t always tell. PeakSupps was 8% in a 350mg tablet vs 50% and 2000mg 🧐

#health #supplements

Griffin makes me laugh. Colleagues are sharing the film festival in two weeks, premiering their new film. He’s sharing a clip from a 17-year-old film, almost his first. Patchiest social media game I’ve ever seen 😏 said with love.

#actors

#WritersCoffeeClub 6/5: Talk about something you've written which you expected would (or expect will) divide readers.

Revealing information about Gabe especially at the end of chapter six. Chapter five had some information that adds up when it’s laid out more plainly, but might not be obvious enough to really be hints.

#WordWeavers 4/16 If your MC lived in our world, would they have good financial credit?

Gabe probably would because one way or another they’d make sure they have enough money. I’m amused to think of them as seeming so financially responsible, though. They’re not above theft if they can get away with it.

#WordWeavers 6/5: What writing-related challenges have you encountered recently?

Realising perhaps half of what I’ve got so far could be much better and might have bored people away since I posted the first chapters. I decided to pause posting and rewrite which is bit of an undertaking and might put off anyone who was reading, but there’s no point leaving it feeling limp either.

#PennedPossibilities 1006. How would your characters describe their community or communities?

On the smallest level, any of the kids might describe their sudden, new family as too many all together. They don’t much know their wider community yet and if they go somewhere together, they attract surprised looks, so they’re not finding it very welcoming.

#WordWeavers May 5: Is your MC aware of their flaw?

It seems unlikely. If they were before, they weren’t letting it bother them. They might do some reflection now, but I’m not sure their conclusions will include such awareness. Someone might help them, if they choose to listen and accept it.

#WordWeavers May 4
What's your MC's critical flaw?

Lack of empathy is probably the worst. Arrogance and selfishness aren’t helping either.

#PennedPossibilities 1005: What type of clothing does your SC typically wear?

Comfortable and black. I can’t much picture her in anything else.

#WritersCoffeeClub 4/5: Is there a scene or a character or even a plot you regret adding to a finished work?

Answering for my wip instead (more relevant since it’s posted online, though I might redo the existing chapters anyway).

The opening scene of chapter three. I added it because I thought it needed something more, then the chapter ended up better than before and possibly doesn’t need it. It gives more of the character, but it’s also probably too much information and I’m not sure it’s clear why the character does it.

#WordWeavers Apr 15: Is your antagonist more optimistic or pessimistic? Why?

I’m not sure she’s either all that much. I feel her fury is getting in the way of much but thinking of ways to make the MC suffer.

It would be that bit easier if I could buy ready-made stuff with no added sugar, but I have such a thing against most sweeteners (nearly all that you can buy uses Sucralose or erythritol). I need to make some more brownies or cookies, I’m just lacking spoons and also need to use the Pulsetto and Thumper. Bit of a Catch-22.

I ordered a bag of Allulose, not sure if I mentioned it here when it arrived. It’s made from sugar and said to taste like it, like sucralose but safe for the insulin, unlike sucralose. But I find it horribly bitter, so that’s fun.

Monk fruit, perhaps? Or I try powdered milk to calm the bitterness of cacao. It’s a lower glycemic index than coconut milk, but if it’s less sweet, I might want to add more, and they’d end up the same amount of sugar anyway 🤨

#food #sweetener #sugar #diabetes

Not sleeping well lately, though I haven’t for five years so it means more that I’m awake at even more odd times of night than actually sleeping less. Still, I can end up very dozy in the “morning”.

Still, while I was awake at 5am, I got to writing. I’m not sure how it’ll go, maybe I’ll use this bit later on. Gabe is being less clever, which is out of character for the tv show. I’ve already changed them some or they’d refuse the story at all tbh.

Maybe I can make it work.

#writing

Hmm, brain suddenly came up with a few things I can do in the next chapters of the fanfic. Drama, sneakiness, arguments, lies. Hehe 😁

#writing

While sorting out my discord servers, I finally discovered you can label and colour-code folders. Though I can’t see the labels. On mobile, press and hold for the options to pop up. Nice little rainbow.

#discord

Researching flowers of California, there happen to be versions of bluebells, dandelions and catkins, though those are called pussy willows. The orange California poppy, pink lupine and Indian paintbrush, and violet wild Canterbury bells are some of the prettiest.

#flowers

Took me a few hours of distracted water-drinking to do a sugar test (blood won’t flow until the second large glass). I got the lowest fasting reading yet - 6.6. Lowest ever had been 7.1.

Recently 8.4 and above due, I think, to liver releasing glucose in concern while the body gets less food, and high morning cortisol. So cortisol had time to chill.

Had breakfast at lunchtime. Tired, might go back to bed now. Can’t make this stuff up. I suppose if I had anywhere to be then I might not bother, or manage to speed up the hydration.

#diabetes #food #blood

Walked out of the room into the hallway and straight into Sapphy a while ago 🥺 I forgot he likes to sit by the door (near the kitchen) and the hoover is by the bookcase so he’s not further back in that corner.

Picked him up for a snuggle before he went out the cat flap, tbh he tolerates being held but maybe it helped. They’re both so easily spooked already.

#cats

Reading one article about the Green Party and discovering more and more of the anti-Zionist members 😬 In The Spectator which is too right wing for me, but still, cripes. Sad times.

Anti a whole country isn’t criticism of the government. And they can play football, Lineker.

Also I occasionally discover how much friends of mine equate supporting the country with support of war, and other bs they’ve believed from disinformation (I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

Usually I either have an astoundingly-ignorant conversation where I ignore half of what they say to save my sanity (anxiety of waiting for replies in text for any serious conversation has been bad for many years). Or they go quiet and I wonder if they think I’ve sunk into a deluded cult or some such (I’ve just read and listened to a lot that they haven’t and decided, slowly, who I trust).

Or just maybe they say something otherwise supportive, thank goodness, because the majority, of very few who’ve said anything, are this clueless over two years in 🤦🏻‍♀️

Got the most darling colouring book called The Forest Girls’ Coloring Book. In the cover image the cherries on her dress are more clear since I was looking at them on the first inside page snd trying to figure them out. Butterflies? Peanuts? Finally the shape registered more clearly in my brain 😏

#colouring #books #art

I guess it’s an effect of the #Pulsetto relaxation, I’ve felt close to crying at animal videos, etc, three times this week. Could also be hormones, I suppose, but even so I don’t get like that very often so it suggests something has changed. Seems a good thing, loosening up.

#emotions

I think Sapphy found the tomato sauce in the tin of sardines I opened. Clanking sounds from the kitchen. His brother stays on the floor and doesn’t think to check what’s up on the counters 😏

I was just reading that omega 3 is good for cortisol and I also wanted something different. I’ve used a few of these sardine tins for stray cats, though once a fox ate it instead. It was my dad who used to eat them or we wouldn’t have had such a bunch of them. They came in a pack of eight, I think.

#food #cats

Gotta love these phases of burnout or dopamine-droop, whatever it is. Everything is boring, constructive things are too much, public transport is tiring (well, I was wiped yesterday thanks to metformin not being calmed by something else, just drained to f).

And I’ve been withdrawing from relatively new things I’d loved. Idk if something’s going to give. Possibly not and why would it, barely going out or seeing people 🤨

I’m pinning hopes on supplements that help glutamate since ships sailed on dopamine (l-tyrosine, upsets insulin) and adrenaline (prescribed meds, so strong). The supplements don’t seem to do much, hence higher doses. Lion’s Mane, Alpha GPC, Creatine and Omega 3, btw. Also saffron for a mood boost.

Meanwhile if Griffin wanted a social media manager, I’d be there (so many sites using ancient photos of him, even those he has the power to change. Man clearly doesn’t care that much).

#burnout #AuDHD #ADHD #ActuallyAutistic #supplements #medication #health

Blood sugar hella high after a while looking at antisemitism 🤦🏻‍♀️ muting yet more. Damn stress.

A who’s who of attendance of Edinburgh Film Festival. One Griffin named ☺️ was hoping he might, but it’s a long trip. Maybe he’ll make a fortnight of it, birthday trip perhaps (idk, speculating).

https://www.broadwayworld.com/westend/article/EIFF-2026-Domhnall-Gleeson-Alan-Cumming-John-Hannah-Set-to-Attend-20260731

#actors #film #movies #EIFF

Idk if it’s a tell of how bored I am or if something is working… managed a walk up and down the road for five minutes (I’m not that fit). It’s a key to better sleep and lower sugar, so nice to do it.

My reduced crew of supplement packets fits in their basket again. Creatine remains a special flower, needing maybe 4g a day (depending on which advert you listen to) and being sold in such smaller amounts so you need to take 4 a day. How much patience do they think I have.

#health #exercise #supplements

Having a digital clearout. On YouTube I removed a few saved playlists, and checked my own for deleted and privated videos. One I follow has removed 150 livestreams, most of which I’d seen, and wasn’t honestly going to rewatch.

Finally reduced my art playlist from 1500 to 200. I get carried away saving them, forget to watch, or feel overwhelmed. The watch later playlist went over 3000 and I cleared 500 so far. Every so often I go back to clear them rather than watch 😏

Also spent time yesterday changing every “cos” in my tumblr posts to “because” since that was bugging me. And removing and privating posts linking to the fanfic now I’ve decided to rewrite it. Added a note on AO3 for anyone returning to read.

Now looking at my discord servers and realising how many I don’t need. I was in 43, I think, having left loads a while ago when it hit 100, and then joined a few more. Can’t be active in that many, a handful at most, but some are interesting to read.

#decluttering

Discovered why Allulose is available on iherb - American website selling in the UK. I guess stuff gets flown around no matter which site we use.

#shopping

I worry about the computer sometimes. It goes so slow. Usually I’ll be downloading a few things and it’s the internet capacity struggling. Last night I was backing up files and a program took ages to load. Maybe due to my C drive being low on space since programs put stuff there even when I put their main files on a bigger drive.

The C is only 128GB so it houses windows and what I call normal programs, while games and documents are elsewhere. It’s over a decade old and works, so I was happy to keep it going.

When I bought the parts to build the PC, three years ago (previous lasted ten), I bought some older versions close to “end of life” (about to be replaced by a newer version with the same amount of stuff eg GB of space or ram). So I wonder if that makes it a bit older than it should be. Idk.

Otherwise it’s great and if I don’t run too much, it’s good. Baldur’s Gate has been slow to load just lately and it seemed to re-download itself the other day so that could be a cause.

#tech #pc

I keep hearing a tune called 360 by Peter Gregson on instagram clips and it sounds straight out of The Sims (an earlier version than 4, though). Sometimes they’re just that similar because I think the sims music was all written for it.

#music

I just realised that if I ever bumped into Griffin out in the wild, it might feel like when he posts on instagram - very surprising 😁

I don’t think it’ll ever happen. Unlikely to cross paths in the world and idk that he’s ever done a convention (and idk if I ever will again, but maybe energy will improve more, you never know).

A few of the Locke & Key cast did, but idk who was asked and why they might not (I can guess, obvs, eg work, not in the mood, etc)

#fandom

It’s been a few days that my head has been kinda dozy since I had a lovely few days more of focus. I hit a wall partly due to my inability to pace and one night of 3 hours sleep with no more in the daytime. And just because it wouldn’t last forever.

There’s a wearable health tracker, an arm or wristband called Visible, which might help. It’s a little pricy in the subscription which is annoying and they give a discount on it and the band if you pay annually. I find that cheeky, at best.

But the most “is the universe having a joke?” is it works on the iPhone 7 and later. My 6s is 11 years old and I don’t fancy upgrading even with a refurbished model a few years old.

There’s a free app you can use to manually track symptoms, but I’m not so good at doing it. Just any time I feel better, I’m so into having energy, I forget it’s likely to hit pause sometime.

#health #visible #fatigue #sleep #energy #wearables #tech

Baldur’s Gate 3 having trouble loading so while I sort out reinstalling, redeemed my new Guild Wars 2 expansions and logged in to ten messages re all the story I’ve missed. I‘m 2/3 through an expansion from 2023 and had skipped the part of the story before that. I knew it had been a while, but three years, phew. It’s been out for 14 and I played some of the beta, so I’ve been very into it for a long time.

#gaming

House gets that cold sometimes, we’ve both been putting the heating on a few extra times. House is too big for two but we’re both overwhelmed by how much there is to sort, and we’re otherwise happy here.

I have my fluffy thermal bedsocks over normal bedsocks (back is so precarious, the bits on slipper socks had me off balance, and most slipper soles are too firm 🤷🏻‍♀️

Also my big grey hoodie from the web development course I didn’t end up using (that was sad, but I loved learning the stuff, still should’ve stuck with drawing tbh). So quite cosy now I’m layered with blanket.

#clothes #house #cold

My honor mode group is still with us in BG3, though it’s a stress so I might not mind losing. I’m planning to leave it and read up more to prepare better. We narrowly escaped a few times, only because I had Gale hang back and run away.

Meanwhile my sibling trio plus all six companions is storming ahead. One has all the lightning gear for his tempest cleric build now, I think (four pieces of armour, a necklace and a bow). And just one piece of the frost weapon left to get.

The big area underground in act one feels creepy so I’m holding off, but that’s what we need to do for the last bit of the weapon. We went to the next leafy area before act two instead (being vague to reduce spoilers). Finally realised how to place one of Wyll’s spells and didn’t catch his allies with it.

It’s nice to progress one group after starting seven. I don’t see completing many, much as I’d like to see these characters through, but they’re fun to make.

#gaming #BaldursGate3

Saw the most pointless video about Gail’s Bakery being more common in expensive London boroughs. Idk that it makes the house prices rise. It’s a bakery. One commenter had worked there and wasn’t impressed by the way staff were treated.

Many comments boycotting not just due to supporting smaller businesses, but because it’s ”zio” owned. Straight out of David Duke’s KKK bs, btw. Careful there.

If I wasn’t off carbs or bad treatment of staff, I might try it. If I ever went out except to the chiropractor (might just not be too tired anymore, I suppose).

#food #AntiSemitism

In case anyone was interested in my game installation saga, it’s working better now, loaded fast again with everything onscreen instantly 😘 I don’t know what was in the way before, but I had followed a clean uninstall guide and removed some registry keys (back it up first, kids).

The one save file that crashed when a mod it doesn’t even use is just sitting in the mods folder, is now running when I leave it there. Just easier than remembering to move it when I play the saves that use it (all of them since it’s the party limit begone mod that I love).

C drive still full as heck. I looked into moving the whole appdata folder since it’s using 30gb, but apparently that can break things. I’ll need to uninstall some games or reinstall windows on a bigger drive.

#pc #tech

Having just a line in my head, I listened to the full Marmalade song and hecking wow. Every so often we find something so joyful to love and this reminds me of falling in love with Cats in 1998. Dopamine goes zing in the AuDHD brain.

I love Paddington’s voice and when I heard it before, I didn’t realise there are two voices. I thought he didn’t always sound like I’d expect, being used to Ben Wishaw in the films, and the voice here is a similar vibe after all.

The animation in this is wonderful. Dare I admit I’ve never liked marmalade, though.

https://youtu.be/VbW_N_Pm4hU

#music #musicals #paddington #food

You might be surprised, or not, that I have a few other crushes. Cavern Kingston reads #erotica on an app called Quinn, which tbh I don’t listen to because they make me laugh (I think they also write what they read). He has a fabulous voice, it’s just not my thing.

I’ve followed him for years. He used to sing and do YouTube, then gaming and chat on Twitch, he’s a love. He probably still sings and did a few screamy rock songs like this.

https://youtu.be/G4upxXM1Qz4

#music #rock #screaming

I foresee becoming very into Paddington the Musical now I’ve seen the clip of Marmalade and the artist making the oranges. He’s such a cute bear.

https://youtube.com/shorts/6tsspU0U3Gg

#music #musicals #theatre #paddington #marmalade #food

Bit fast, but since that side effect has been calmer this time, tried a second dose of metformin tonight. Waiting for the fresh wave of tiredness to kick in... 👀 meanwhile my mood boosted again. Even danced to a song in the kitchen. More sugar control = happier, perkier brain? Sure, but I’m still surprised to be so tired on 500mg and maybe not on 1000mg. The science is fascinating (if I fully understood it).

#medication #health

Sapphy likes my cheesy puffs. Which is good because I don’t really. They can have one every so often, I guess, since there are a few bags. They’re just made from cheese, no sugar etc.

Jelly pot tasted awfully artificial rather than mildly so. I hope that can go back to how it was before.

#food