reverse engineering implies the existence of engineering
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sluttymayo
@sluttymayo@jorts.horse
mastodon 4.3.0-alpha.3+glitch
i used to make my own jean cutoffs when i was an anxious kid. well look who's horsing now
shitposter and submarine thief/historian
comsuberie of the great lakes people's littoral navy
beavergirl union lodge #716
professional endorsements:
"you're not broken, just weird" - my wife
"i thought this was a shitpost but it seems like you're really going for it huh" - nasamuffin
1813 Followers
651 Following
50 Posts
Joined December 17, 2022
pronouns:
she/her
header image:
jort horse plushie on the deck gun of the uss cod submarine
pfp:
hellmann's slutty may-owo-nnaise jar
backup account for when jortsn't:
a "men's" bicycle typically has the top tube of the frame parallel to the ground, while a "women's" bicycle usually had a top tube that is slanted lower at the seat end, so a lady doesn't hit herself in the balls if she slides forward off the seat
call 877-woims-now
hi im lonk skwonker from the famous movie star works, did u know i am also joker batman
when the that you left for monday on friday and now it's monday when the
i looove a woman in uniform ☺️ (aldi cashiers)
oh shit. almost forgot to wish fedi a happy dave matthews band bus incident anniversary
fart louderdale
paul is stored in the malls
hbo stands for "haha boobies onscreen"
holy shit yes. this is the one. this is the generic ai slop thumbnail that finally makes me want to watch an ebay live
i suspect that 90% of the posts my friends share from bluesky etc that are like "omg what is this shirt i found at the thrift store" are plants and are just setting up for the "i 'remade' this design and you can get it here" link to follow, since "this is a replica of an out of print funny shirt rediscovered at the thrift" is more compelling than "buy this shirt i designed"
yeag i like that tabletop game uhh floorhammer 9000 or whatever
mfw there's italian language meta-discourse on the tl
:bing: maritime signal flag juliet booty shorts ("this vessel is burning and has dangerous cargo, stay clear")
yeah the main character isn't named zelda, zelda is the princess. your guy is john zelda
:bing: tuxedo tee shirt
:bing: black sweatpants
:bing: iron-on satin ribbon
amazon dash button for piss
i love when a lady has a fuckass haircut and i'm not kidding
talking to girls is hard. because of the ionosphere
why do woims
come up from da ground
every time
you're around
just like me
dey wanna see
you get paid
hey :) me and my wife noticed you from across the wikipedia category: middle english songs mentioning goats farting page and really liked your six part polyphony
keep honking, i'm smoking on that shit that combines joke formats rather artlessly
opening up my big storage trunk labeled "normal stuff" and tossing aside all the rocket launchers and the original declaration of independence and my autographed d. b. cooper portrait and stuff, so i can lift up the false bottom and remove a notebook from the secret compartment: my list of suspects who i think might be the grungler
Replying to
@intransitivelie mogging the 19th century cycling moralists with my drawstring skirt that goes zschoooop and suddenly is fluffy pants, doing wheelies on my silk inner tubed "safety" bicycle in the parking lot of victorian dollar general, zooming right past penny-farthingcels without ringing my bell, etc etc
animusic pride flag
apparently leonardo da vinci turned down American Psycho, Talented Mr. Ripley, and Star Wars in order to be in The Beach
maybe it's a skill issue, maybe i'm not cleaning everything well enough, but trying to assemble anything on regular perfboard is a miserable experience for me. stripboard is 9000 times less painful
sonc! three hedgog
jorts dot org. stranger together.
what's good for the goose is not, it turns out, good for the inkjet printer
infinite procedurally-generated small hudson valley towns
Replying to
@dank@jorts.horse @serverlessaoife@mastodon.social @telmii_poo@jorts.horse horses for courses and (brick) courses for (beaver) horses (help my wordplay is falling apart, somebody get me an editorial beaver)
Replying to
@noodlejetski @ifixcoinops my client is being weird and giving me guff about seeing the thread from jorts, but i got at it in the browser and it's a mashing good thread
Replying to
@charette oh, don't act like you've never been riding along a little loosey goosey in the saddle and had to slam the brakes all of a sudden and had the bike drop out from under you
geese and desist
keep honking i'm flooding my ballast tanks
turns out an air cleaner or "air purifier" is like a special thing, it's not a regular cleaner , so apparently my double mop darth maul routine is actually just making a mess from the splash and not making the air cleaner. je ne say what
we're hardly even Posting about it because this shit (everything) is so ass
there are extra posts on the fediverse only visible if you see it in imax
Replying to
@catch56@kolektiva.social welllll... i actually still have not clicked any of them, lol, so i still don't actually know!