Mandrake 🐎

Sony: Physical discs are now obsolete. The Future of Gaming is digital-only. Me: Ok, I picked up this second-hand PlayStation Classic that you threw out for Christmas 2018, installed Project Eris on it, and filled it up with PS1 ROMs Sony: no not like that

Scott Adams never recovered from being roasted by Pinkie Pie

@DizzyTheVoid Reminder that there's an Egg Memo on Sonic Frontiers where Robotnik wonders whether Sage has preferred pronouns

@Siph@meemu.org The Bad Guys (2022)

If you're a UK citizen, please write to your MP about this (yes, even if they're a Tory). Tell them how this legislation is smothering independent communities and free expression. Explain how age verification will not protect children effectively and instead puts British citizens at risk of identity theft. Point out how overseas websites are now geoblocking UK IP addresses, isolating us from the rest of the world. https://www.writetothem.com/

@fluttergirly@chitter.xyz It goes without saying, this is entirely the fault of TERFs and their fascist allies, who restate the gender essentialism of women being physically inferior to men to justify the exclusion of trans women from sports

@jalefkowit To quote Stewart Lee: "I haven't read [Harry Potter], but I have read the complete works of the Romantic poet and visionary William Blake, so fuck off!"

@floppyplopper@todon.nl They'll jump on any excuse to blame Labour for disasters which they themselves created, so you can potentially manipulate them into decrying these regulations as ineffective/censorship

@michi@wetdry.world "It's not snake oil, it's called Doctor Quackster's Miracle Health Tonic!"

@squeakypancakes Alternative entry for the top-left corner: Charlie Brown

@spellingmistakescostlives@mastodon.ie This was on my mind back when Americans were commemorating 9/11 during lockdown, when the equivalent of 9/11 was happening *every single day*, only distributed across care homes and hospitals

@Vordus@chitter.xyz This has the same vibe as @spellingmistakescostlives@mastodon.ie's "We're turning our carbon emissions green for Earth Day" poster. Satire is well and truly dead in the 2020s

@spellingmistakescostlives@mastodon.ie Ah yes, the popular "conspiracy theory" that Keir Starmer's a wanker

@ret Yeah, at some point, you just have to do the best you can and cope by switching to Linux, applying for a credit card, and downloading VPNs before they inevitably get effectively outlawed

If you need help with your response, @ret has published his answers on his website: https://foxdog.blog/blog/uk-social-media-consultation/ (obviously, please use your own words and don't copy-paste)

@svat@mathstodon.xyz You can learn a lot about England's celebration of failure by their relationship with football. Most football teams go for years, if not decades, without winning any trophies, and those which do will inevitably fail to defend their titles next season. They'll spend millions buying superstar players/managers who immediately flop or become seriously injured for months. Fans will watch their favourite teams lose every single weekend, but would rather die than switch to a better team. Millions play Fantasy Premier League, a game about making bad decisions and picking players who inevitably fail to score or keep clean sheets for as long as they're in your team. Meanwhile, the national men's team has not won a major international title for nearly 60 years and our most popular football song is explicitly about how they've failed to win the World Cup since then. To quote Frank Skinner: "Being a football fan 90% of the time is about losing. Most of being a football fan is disappointment"

@fehrtrade@toot.community I strongly encourage that everyone writes a letter to their MP about this as well (even if they're a Tory). Tell them how this legislation is smothering independent communities and free expression. Explain how age verification does not protect children effectively and instead puts British citizens at risk of identity theft. Point out how overseas websites are now starting to geoblock UK IP addresses, isolating us from the rest of the world. https://www.writetothem.com/

@RiverEnodian I dunno, if the Element of Laughter herself told me that my comic wasn't funny, I would be so ashamed that I would immediately resign

@Siphonay@donphan.social Feels like we're living through the final days of the open Internet, honestly. It's all private Discord servers from here on out

@BatElite It's like calling your son "Jog". They're going to be bullied at school relentlessly

@revk Always vindicating to see the Government's mask slip and reveal their determination to infantilise young adults

@fluttergirly Perhaps @DotMaetrix might be interested?

@derFisch@chitter.xyz TV ads where half the runtime is a legal disclaimer warning that this product might horribly kill you

@fluttergirly@chitter.xyz It's not? In any case, it works out in Nintendo's favour since it's playable on the Switch 2 and the misconception might encourage users to upgrade their hardware