Remote

Larry Garfield

@Crell@phpc.social

mastodon 4.7.3

Anything worth doing is worth doing well.

Anything worth doing well is worth teaching others to do well.

Author of Thinking Functionally in PHP, now on LeanPub: https://leanpub.com/thinking-functionally-in-php

2351 Followers

88 Following

50 Posts

Joined August 17, 2018

Website:

https://www.garfieldtech.com

GitHub:

https://github.com/Crell

Functional PHP:

https://leanpub.com/thinking-functionally-in-php

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2d ago

Boosted by @trending@homestead.social

It's been made clear to me that one of the reasons I was hired for this job is my boss read the README files of some of my OSS projects and was impressed at how clear and detailed a writer I am. Just in case you thought written-English wasn't a useful skill for a developer: It got me this job. Work on your writing skills if you want to survive in tech. #Programming #GetFediHired #Writing

40

0

29

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

I was today years old when I learned that Dockerfiles support heredoc-like syntax, and I am furious at every tutorial and presenter that has used a dozen lines with \ instead of that. #Docker #Programming

27

3

22

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Running Docker such that files in the container mount end up owned by the current host user is what I want 100% of the time. Absolutely 100%. So why is it always pulling teeth to make it work, and it's different for every bloody container image? WTAF? This is why I hate Docker. #Docker #Programming

4

3

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Your regular reminder: Autistics do not have an "inflexible ethical system." Most of you normies have "disturbingly malliable, easily-compromised ethics." #Autism #AutismSpectrumDisorder

85

4

28

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 3w ago

Every time I brainstorm/daydream on how I'd design an ideal type system... I eventually end up with Rust. It's kind of annoying, really. #Rust #Programming #Types

9

3

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Replying to

@Exagone313@share.elouworld.org @outofcontrol@phpc.social All of that sounds way more complicated than it has any right to be...

1

1

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1mo ago

The best summary of Trump's trade policies I've ever seen. https://xkcd.com/3290/ #uspol #tarrifs #xkcd

Trade

Trade

11

0

8

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

Even Microsoft execs say OpenAI et al are criminal organizations. https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2026/09/microsoft-exec-called-ai-scraping-the-largest-theft-of-labor-in-human-history/ #AI #LLM

arstechnica.com

3

0

1

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

The existence of both *.yml and *.yaml is a blight upon the tech industry, and whoever is responsible for this travesty should be shunned from the field forever. #Rant #Programming

1

1

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

I am pleased, terrified, and slightly unnerved to announce the relaunch of my blog, and the beta release of MiDy! Yes, another site generator in PHP, but this one is special. (Trust me.) https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/garfieldtech-v3 Feedback welcome, mainly through the MiDy issue queue but also in the PHPC chat room. #PHP #Release #OpenSource #AGPL

GarfieldTech version 3, now on MiDy

My site is now Midly Dynamic.

17

9

10

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 3w ago

Really good and detailed breakdown of the memory implications of associative arrays in PHP. Yet another reason to "Never* use arrays." (Use classes, and convert as quickly as you can.) https://dev.to/nazar-boyko/i-added-one-key-to-a-php-array-it-cost-25-mb-of-memory-4b80 #php #programming

2

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

Replying to

@thomasfuchs@hachyderm.io I will quibble with only one part of that. "AI" may well kill us all, but not out of malicious intelligence. Just because we feed the number-predictor all our electricity and let it run rampant on our networks. Like, mistake a Chinese cargo ship for a nuke. More precisely, LLMs used stupidly by stupid people increases the chance of stupid people killing us all.

1

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

A valid question... #humor

1

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

Replying to

@ramsey@phpc.social The person or the owl?

1

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 3w ago

Replying to

@crashtestdev@woof.tech Oof! I worked at a place like that many years ago. I lasted 10 weeks. A third of the company turned over in that time. The running joke in the office was that the owner really liked hiring people but kept running our of desks. Awful market to have to deal with it in, but it sounds like you dodged a bullet.

2

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

Replying to

@s_hulard@mamot.fr See https://frankenphp.dev/docs/docker/#running-as-a-non-root-user for example. (That's where I first saw it, an hour ago.)

FrankenPHP Docker image: build, configure, extend

FrankenPHP Docker image: build, configure, extend

Build custom FrankenPHP Docker images, install PHP extensions and Caddy modules, run as non-root, harden with distroless, and enable worker mode by default.

1

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1mo ago

The number of PHP code-validation tools that have PHPStorm plugins that don't know how to handle running in a container is mind boggling. I don't think I've ever gotten a single one to work. #PHP #PHPStorm

4

3

1

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 3w ago

SQLite for Everything https://joecode.com/2026-08-19-sqlite3/ We have so many remarkable tools that we avoid using because something else has a shiner marketing budget. (Though SQLite's type system is pretty mediocre.) #programming #sql #sqlite

SQLite for Everything | JoeCode

Code with distinct characteristics traceable to its author.

1

4

1

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@ramsey@phpc.social I refuse the facial option. Every time.

3

6

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@ramsey@phpc.social I also still usually demand a pat down rather than the back scatter (if the magnetometer flags me). At this point, mostly to annoy them. I know we lost that battle, but I can still conduct guerilla raids.

2

4

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@paninid@mastodon.world You forgot the "most." That was included deliberately.

2

1

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@ramsey@phpc.social Similar at O'Hare.

1

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@ramsey@phpc.social TSA Pre usually gets you a magnetometer, but occasionally I get randomly selected for the fancy machine. That's when I get annoying.

1

1

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@paninid@mastodon.world... Is that AI generated?

1

1

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

Moving as a metaphor for software management. https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/moving-metaphor

Moving as metaphor

A few weeks ago, I and several others helped some friends of ours pack up their apartment into a truck in preparation for moving cross-country from Chicago to New York. It was, as such moments generally are, bitter sweet. It's always a good feeling to help out a friend, but when you're helping them get further away from you it's not as pleasant. Of course, me being me, what struck me most about the whole process was how well it served as a model for software development and pro

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

Replying to

@nuno Why are you continuing to boost a money laundering project by an overt racist? Come on, man. You're better than this, right?

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@stof@phpc.social ugh. I thought I fixed that already. I'll poke at it when I have a chance, probably tomorrow.

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 3w ago

Replying to

@CGM@mastodon.scot Not my article, I'm just boosting it. :-)

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1mo ago

Replying to on mastodon.social

@ocramius@mastodon.social That's not unique to time. All measurements are only as accurate as the tool you're using to measure.

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

Replying to

@dseguy@phpc.social You have a typo on your first strtolower. :-) And the second line with the pipe... works for me?

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Replying to

@e3betht@phpc.social Oy! Glad to hear you're doing OK. My mother also had a small lump removed earlier this year. Thankfully full recovery. May yours be as swift and efficient!

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Replying to

@grmpyprogrammer@yac.grumpy-learning.com Wait, what?

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Replying to

@Exagone313@share.elouworld.org @outofcontrol@phpc.social I'm not an ops guy, so I understood about half of what you said.

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1mo ago

Top ten bits of advice for new conference speakers. https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/speaker-advice #PHP

garfieldtech.com

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2w ago

Replying to

@dabiddo@mstdn.io A new release comes out every November, like clockwork. :-).

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Replying to

@outofcontrol@phpc.social No idea. I've never used it. Does it play nice with docker-compose?

0

2

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Free markets don't apply to every industry, nor should they. Social infrastructure needs to be handled differently. https://www.garfieldtech.com/blog/social-infrastructure-services

garfieldtech.com

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@stof@phpc.social There should be one already on the blog page. My own feed reader was able to discover it.

0

1

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Replying to

@kboyd@phpc.social 😲 I am both shocked and horrified by this concept.

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Replying to

@grono@mastodon.com.pl Replied!

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@timkmak@journa.host Decades, not centuries.

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Replying to

@grono@mastodon.com.pl O'rly? Please expound.

0

1

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@chgowiz@dice.camp We just watched it. Excellently done horror, but holy hell we were not looking for horror! Way too much for me. (The Thaw (VGR) was about my horror limit.)

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 3w ago

Replying to

@saramg@fosstodon.org *big hug* It's OK to not be OK. It's OK to need help. It's OK to need time.

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1mo ago

Replying to

@alessandrolai@phpc.social Not sure how. The issue is the PHPstorm plug-ins don't know to run inside the container. They insist on running on localhost.

0

1

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

The reporters at this news site are AI bots. OpenAI’s super PAC appears to be funding it. Not only are Gen AI systems unethical, the companies behind them are evil, too. https://www.modelrepublic.org/articles/the-reporters-at-this-news-site-are-ai-bots.-openai%E2%80%99s-super-pac-appears-to-be-using-it-to-advance-its-political-agenda #llm #ai #slop

modelrepublic.org

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@stof@phpc.social This has been resolved.

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 2mo ago

Replying to

@saramg@fosstodon.org Big hugs!

0

0

0

0

Larry Garfield @Crell@phpc.social

· 1w ago

Replying to

@bobmagicii@phpc.social It's such a great idea implemented so badly...

0

1

0

0