olena

I generally am quite a clumsy person, but I just realized my clumsiness gets way worse when I am overwhelmed. Got to spend four days on the Easter holidays with my nephew - and till the end of the week it’s like clumsiness x10. Everything falls from my hands, I almost drowned my phone two times, accidentally broke several plates, a glads and a ceramic pot lid, flipped several dishes and bumped many things. I’m like a walking disaster by now, so I just am sitting on my sofa trying to not touch anything fragile or expensive till I get enough of my alone time. Did you also noticed being much more clumsy when you are overwhelmed and not having enough alone time? @autistics@fedigroups.social#autistic#AuDHD #neurodivergent

#bloomscrolling#almonds #almendro

@KatyElphinstone this! I sometimes kinda enter a ‘shielded mode’ that tones down all the feelings if I have some overly intense income. Like, when I have bleeding sores on my feet and keep walking 5km more without noticing it further, but also without hearing the ambient noise, without seeing details, without reacting to the people talking to me etc - because I kinda tuned down the sensitivity to not feel the pain, but I can’t tune down only one thing at a time, I’m doing it with most of the sensory input

#birdwatching #goldfinch #cardueliscarduelis

Urban tempo #snail #snails

I don’t know what’s worse: always feeling that you’re never good enough for your parents in your childhood or finally realizing no matter what you do and how hard you try, you’ll be never good enough for your kid.

@jmht@theatl.social @dbattistella@mstdn.ca majestic - agree! When you see them flying so high in the skies, so big, so calm - they do look absolutely majestic!

@lizzard@social.tchncs.de @foolishowl@social.coop @KatyElphinstone@mas.to I never got to understand what’s the point playing those games about pretending to be a family(in my childhood, it was named daughters-mothers) with someone: I have my normal life to be told what I have to do and participate in daily life. With the toys, I’ve never been interested in repeating daily life something or playing marriage/courtship whatever. My doll was mounting a deer to arrive on the quest to save an elephant from a witched castle, or to return a stolen treasure to the kingdom and so on. With other kids, playing toys, I just immersed in creating the scene: inventing houses and furniture from boxes, blocks and whatever we had, crafting capes from napkins, etc. In kindergarten, we were supposed to sleep after the lunch, but after being punished several times for staying awake(not wandering around even - just laying with my eyes open), I just started to close my eyes and start creating a story, an adventure in my head. It would feature some things I heard(or later read - as I learned to read at five, and was reading well till the end of kindergarten, and was just devouring books) in fairy tales and adventure stories, but I would try to create my own adventure, with the final that I want. I wouldn’t call that lack of imagination. But yeah, when I got asked to play daughters-mothers, I would be lost: what am I supposed to do, as my imagination refuses to work around those boring things

@KatS @jmht @dbattistella that’s a really good place for nature lovers. Being able to make a few miles long walk through a dehesa after(or before) work and admire the vultures and red kites, and squeak happily to every bunny crossing your road (even when it happens for a thousandth time) - very soul healing

@jackeric @jmht @dbattistella I’ve seen them in zoos before, was already impressed, but after moving to the area where a black vulture can just casually fly over my house, I got a different level of awe for them :)

#ladybugs #insects

@markwyner@mas.to beak :)

A research supposedly confirming that ADHD and autism share specific brain connectivity patterns. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/04/260408225941.htm Interesting if the connectivity changes they see in MRT have anything to do with the one seen on EEG(as in my teens on my EEG there were some connectivity irregularities noticed) #autism#adhd#AuDHD #neurodivergent

@Bender@ecoevo.social yes, it’s really impressive, especially taken the size: it’s about my hand’s size

@benjojo so the name was kinda foreshadowing. Just not what everyone expected

@LeviKornelsen@dice.camp same for washing machines. I anyway don’t even remember when was the last time I washed something not on a ‘delicate’ cycle with additional rinsing.

@arisummerland@beige.party @autistics@fedigroups.social she looks very huggable and like she would like it as well :)

@AnAutieAtUni@beige.party @autistics@fedigroups.social My kid recently said my place was all so tidied up and I thought they’re being sarcastic because for me, it was in a big disorder, and required tons of cleaning and ordering - but no, they weren’t snarky, they were being serious. So yes, I am tidying up even when I’m just waiting for a delivery. And I actually HATE doing the cleaning. Ideally, to not feel anxious about my home, I’d need it also clean, spotless and ordered and aligned, but I don’t have the energy to do that myself, and I don’t like other people touching my things or strangers being in my house, so I can’t hire someone to do the cleaning for me(even financial reasons aside), so I’m kinda living in a state of mild irritation by the not perfect cleanness around and constant anxiety that someone can visit

@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me @autistics@fedigroups.social for years I thought I don’t have meltdowns. I just cried myself to sleep, cried in shower, zoned out while walking to/from job or cooking so badly I wouldn’t even notice my feet are bleeding or I have cut a finger accidentally. Don’t melt down, step out of the room, make some tea and sandwiches and bring them to the spouse with a smile. Don’t melt down, go to the bathroom and just sit there silently for ten minutes, then wash your face, brush your hair and come back to your workplace with a smile.

@ShadowJonathan@tech.lgbt with so many years of the phone being in silent mode I don’t even remember what my ringtone is

@KatyElphinstone@mas.to basically terrified, but some days I am better at avoiding letting myself notice that. Like all the fears are still there, but some days I am able to kinda put a layer over them letting me pretend I don’t hear them - and that way avoid ruminating them in my consciousness, but that doesn’t mean they stop dominating the unconscious

@AnAutieAtUni@beige.party @autistics@fedigroups.social yes, but idk how much of that is masking and how much is just what I’ve been taught to do since childhood. My mom (who, as I think, also is autistic) used to not let us get our schoolmates home (or visit their homes) because it may be untidy and it’s a shame to have something out of place/out of order/not perfectly clean at home when people visit. Every time we had guests, there was a big cleaning/preparation before, even though the home already was clean to begin with because my mom did the cleaning (when we were young, later tasked us with that) every day, and when I was cleaning she would criticize me mercilessly, checking for the dust under coaches and on tall shelves etc. So I got that installed deep in my head that the home should be spotless, perfectly ordered every time someone visits and that it’s a big shame to show it imperfect. Years of leaving in student dorm with frequent inspections on the order and cleanness also didn’t help. I know it doesn’t make sense, I know it’s exaggerated, but I can’t stop feeling immense shame if someone visits me and there is a crumb on the floor or some things are out of their place.

@theautisticcoach@neurodifferent.me @autistics@fedigroups.social I also used cooking as a way of regulating: I had zero alone time in a noisy and demanding home environment aside of the time I spent in the kitchen cooking something delicious for the rest of the family - that also contributes

@CheetahFluff@nyan.network @CheetahFluff@nyan.network all, all of that water) with whole milk or cream. And add a pinch of nutmeg or mace.

@endrift@social.treehouse.systems if I have a work laptop(bought by the company, used almost solely to work on it: I can do some personal search on it, for example, but no personal email, social media or messenger accounts, only the work ones), and normally don’t bring it home, unless work from home temporarily once in a while, do I vote for it or not?