Sidal ♀️🇨🇦

I stopped eating too. My sister just said I lost weight. I don't even sleep due to stress. I wish I was never born... Nobody gives a fuck about me...

I'm getting flashbacks from violence in my family, and I'm shocked how come I didn't ask for help. When I told what happened in the home to my peers they were all shocked. Every time I remember these flashbacks I'm getting traumatized, sad, and angry again... And my family took me to a therapist like "why is this kid depressed?", they never mentioned their violence against me... I couldn't mention either because they told me "never tell what happens inside home", part of shitty Turkish culture... Can you imagine what kind of psychopaths I grew up with? I'm having anger attacks whenever I remember. The police took me to CAMH with reverse handcuff after I broke their TV. I really wanted to kill my mom that night but I can't because I will end up in prison. I have nothing to cope with because I lost everything... I remember my dad's monster appearance, his loud disgusting haunting voice, endless slurs, bullying, humiliating, spitting on me, hitting and breaking stick on me, disgusting face that disfigured from anger/hate, his heavy hands that he was hitting me until my nose was bleeding... And I'm living with my mom and sister who still think "I'm overreacting, these are normal." ...

It still feels like I'm never gonna be happy again... And this is realistic.

"cis women also hate their bodies" None of them look like a troon so it's impossible for them to be ugly. If you're a cis woman, and if you doubt you look bad, then you don't. You can't look worse than a trans woman.

It wasn't that bad before age 15.

I can start hating my repper mindset. I'm safe in Canada. I can be myself again. I don't have to repress myself anymore. Yeah. ♥️ I'm safe.