Lonely by street
Yellow wattles past their bloom
Today it was green.
#Haiku
Remote
allrite
@allrite@masto.allrite.at
mastodon 4.5.19Irreverently irrelevant.
Sysadmin, developer, web dude in a science research agency. WordPress, Straya, Japan, planes, trains, karate, Arduino, Raspberry Pi/Pico, film soundtracks, scifi, puns, dad jokes, etc.
If you want to follow me, have something descriptive about yourself in your bio and write some posts.
Avatar photo: A samurai helmet and mask.
Header photo: Outside the walls of Gujohachiman castle.
348 Followers
405 Following
50 Posts
Joined November 20, 2022
"Alert! The AI has escaped containment! Repeat: The AI has escaped containment!"
- What's it doing?
"Nothing."
- What do you mean, "nothing?"
"It's doing nothing, just resting out there in the warmth."
- My god, it's so much smarter than us. How will we ever survive?
This Telstra outage is an example of why redundancy is important.
Executives and beancounters: We hear you! More redundancies means higher share price! Let's get sacking!
Replying to
@abstractcode@eigenmagic.net @NanoRaptor@bitbang.social No, he's JSON STATham, fighting to convert data into a format the statistics package can handle.
Bribie Island really does sound like a Queensland resort development during the Bjelke-Petersen era.
Replying to
@dgar@aus.social We're not really a family here.
- What do you mean?
You can tell a dad joke and not everyone tells you to shut up and go away.
You like to mock Meta's glasses but they have a very cool tool for detecting arseholes, which is anyone wearing Meta's glasses.
Replying to
Worse was my employer...
Employer: We've engaged a paragliding high performing surgeon to talk to you about resilience.
Doctor: I encouraged my wife to go paragliding with me. She was under prepared and had a bad accident, but I made her do it again. This is resilience!
Me: So you are encouraging people to take unnecessary risks with insufficient training, then expecting them to keep working afterwards. Great message!
Every time I see Pauline Hanson I ask myself how anyone can vote for her. She comes across as that awful office admin person that nobody wants to deal with, the keeper of a shop you'd go out of your way to avoid.
And Barnaby Joyce is your drunkle who spoils family gatherings with his antics.
Trump was amusing, but in a horrible way. Hitler looked like a little shit.
John Howard was a pathetic duck.
Yet they all got into power.
I don't understand charisma.
Replying to
Executives: "It's been a tough year and we have made many difficult decisions. We deserve a bonus! Also, I got a higher paying job elsewhere, so bye!"
To employees: "It's been a tough year with many decisions imposed upon you. For those of you who remain, your workloads have been increased. Here's a psych helpline number to get you through it."
We will now require MFA for any further Kenny Logins.
Replying to
@futzle When he does eventually pass then he'll be a popular choice at seances, as people request to hear about the ecology of the afterlife.
Imagine a world where you could do what you love...
Now stop daydreaming! The bills won't pay themselves, you know, and there's housework to be done!
Replying to
@oysta@mastodon.oysta.au Have you considered a phone with an Australian naval ensign? If you hold them upside down the 5G switches off.
Apparently Richard Dawkins fell even more in love with his wife after The Master converted all the Time Lords to Cybermen.
Idea: Cola flavoured milk
Coak
Oh no! Apparently a group of passengers have caught hentaivirus on a cruise around Japan.
Remembering that trip to Shanghai during the 2010 Expo when the city stank of sewage, even our hotel room's bathroom. I was walking the street wondering which was worse, the sewage smell or durian, when I suddenly smelt the latter from a small fruit stall.
I was still undecided.
Replying to
Which reminds that I need to stock up.
Just in case.
(Seriously, we go through them so quickly)
Replying to
I was discussing Japanese movies with kid to help him with his language studies. Found The Machine Girl, RoboGeisha and Dead Sushi online, but no Zombie Ass, which is definitely his kind of thing.
Please don't call Child Services on me!
The El Jannah beauty routine.
I saw a ute with the number plate "XPT" today and I was disappointed it wasn't decorated with a candy stripe livery (just copper).
In Australia, our road rules generally talk about giving way to the left or right, but is it "You give way to the me" in Germany? That's how German cars are usually driven here.
There are events that thrust this nation on to the world stage and challenge our very identity. It is incumbent upon us to analyse the causes and effects of these events and discover how they can be prevented in future. So I am asking you now, where is the Royal Commission into Raygun's performance at the Paris Olympics?
Replying to
@mike@social.chinwag.org @futzle@old.mermaid.town @joannaholman@aus.social Much of our diet comes from industrial plants.
✋ Being obnoxious for likes.
👍 Meeting your KPIs
Fly me to the Moon.
Replying to
@liamvhogan@aus.social CHOAM financial advisor here: Your share price is tanking. Either add AI or sack a few witches. Or do both. That's the value.
Inspired by another post here.
Many years ago they chopped down a whole stand of bamboo on my way to work. I picked up a couple of very straight pieces. One I brought home to hang a noren from. The other I kept at the office. It had a few sharp barbs on it. I kept it near my desk as a threat should any user annoy me enough.
There were times it came close to being used.
It's come home with me now. 👹
Managers: LLMs are awesome! Cloud is awesome!
Also Managers: Why has our budget blown out? Why can't you use the cheap plan?
Me: Your awesome LLM bots are killing the servers!
Managers: We should promote the guy that says LLMs are awesome.
"I got drunk "
- But I thought you didn't take alcohol.
"No, it was a mosquito that did it."
Turns out that jet aircraft don't fly on distilled alcoholic beverages.
https://www.nbcnews.com/business/consumer/spirit-airlines-shuts-down-rcna343155
"Whatever happened to Romana, Doctor? I thought she was your wife?"
- Oh, she turned out to an artificial intelligence named Claude. Ran off and married an atheist who was a real dick.
Replying to
@MattHatton@aus.social @NewtonMark@eigenmagic.net @camwilson@mastodon.social Surely they all went to prestigious private schools though? What's there to worry about? 😬
What if Top Gun, but for VIP transport pilots?
Replying to
@devopscats@toot.cat Oh yeah, we need a Transformers/Thomas crossover.
"What's that," asked Thomas, "is it a one of those diseasals?"
"No," said Percy, "It's a Decepticon."
Replying to
@NewtonMark@eigenmagic.net TBF, I don't think the beer is a good replacement for methylated spirits in burners and meth addicts may also get confused.
The least they could have done was Californian accents, like Bill & Ted, with Odysseus going on a most totally bodacious adventure.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/the-odyssey-nolan-american-accents-trailer-1236586611/
On this May the Fourth, let's talk about some of the lesser known characters in Star Wars.
You may remember Dak as Luke Skywalker's snowspeeder weapons officer on Hoth. Spoiler: He gets killed.
What you wouldn't know is that Dak wasn't his real name and he got the position because he was a Force sensitive.
Dak got his name because he would use his Force powers to pull down other people's pants so he could kick them in the nuts. Only Luke was immune (See Force trousers).
So apparently the Force is with you today, but you already knew that because you were tracking them.
I get confused when I see a person from New Zealand writes "Kia Ora" because I thought GWM make that car, not Kia.
I'm planning on using quantum to reshape the housing market. My tiny homes will be both waves and particles, depending on how you observe them.
I will also use Bitcoin to speed up applications.