Kimberly Chase (She/Her) 🏳️‍⚧️

These youngins don't know a thing about old school phones... When I mentioned something about owning a landline, one asked me, "Is it like an Android, iPhone, or a flip phone? Does it have a touchscreen?". They were absolutely flabbergasted when I showed them pictures of landline & office phones.

Just to clarify, this host is what I'm using to not only host my portion of the Pride Radio Network, but also my Sharkey (Mastodon compatible) instance, among several other things.

The Pride Radio Network is a #hamradio #amateurradio multi-mode internet connected repeater network.

RE: https://honk.moe/notes/an20ogj13ik70cg9

I don't understand my hosting provider, @hetzner@mastodon.hetzner.social ... I was quoted just shy of $30 per month for my VPS and it was $30 for one month, now I'm paying just over $50 per month, what's with the $20 price increase? I can't sustain this for long due to low income. #hetzner

Growing up was rough, my piece of trash father was never a good father. He constantly abused me verbally and occasionally physically throughout my childhood. He never did any of the things that a father was supposed to do with their child, such as teach them things, take them out for a day of fun, be there for their child, etc. My father did none of that with me. He was never a father to me. He was also a bad influence to me. Sure, at the end, he half-assed tried to make amends, but it was too late, the damage was already done. To be honest, I don't know if I'll ever be able to fully forgive him. He caused me a lot of suffering throughout the years, and the suffering was only exacerbated by childhood bullies in school. Fast forward some years, many years, and things take a turn for the worse with him when I came out as being transgender. He became one of the most hostile, bitter, spiteful people out there. He let it be known that he was not at all on board with my transition. He rejected me as his daughter. Ironically, he was desperately wanting a daughter just before I was born, but I was assigned male at birth instead. In a way, his wish for a daughter was fulfilled, but not in the way he expected. His rejection hurts me a lot. On one hand, I was hoping he would live longer so that he would eventually come around and actually be that father figure I was desperately missing and needing in my life, that he would accept me for who I am and treat me like his daughter, and to spend his final years making a real effort to make amends with me, but unfortunately, he passed away before he could do any of that. On the other hand, I'm sorry to say this, but I'm glad he's gone. He was a real thorn up my behind and he had been one of the biggest sources of mental pain and anguish throughout the years and even during his final years, he continued to be that source with his constant belittling, yelling, etc. It's one less person to stress about.

I keep forgetting to post whenever I go live lol. Anyhow, I just went LIVE playing OUTBRK!

ENTER THE MADNESS 👉 https://twitch.tv/KimberlyMcBlaze
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#Twitch #LiveNow #Gaming #TwitchStreamer #LiveOnTwitch #LiveNow #TwitchGaming #Streamer

My mental health is not great. I have been struggling for years and years, most of my life. Most of the time, I fake being okay, but to be honest, I'm not okay. For years, I tried seeking professional help, tried many meds, nothing helped & meds made things worse. Professional help so far as been a joke, worthless, not at all helpful. I'm struggling. I need help. I just want to live a normal life! But a normal life is far out of reach for me.

Damn, I can't believe it's 5 days until my 36th birthday... No birthday plans, though. I never had any meaningful birthday celebrations since childhood. It'll be treated like it has been for the longest time... another plain ordinary and uneventful day with no celebrations. But hey, at least I would be another year older LOL.

Ok, server migration is complete! This instance is now running on the new server!

I keep forgetting to post whenever I go live lol. Anyhow, I just went LIVE playing Dead by Daylight!

ENTER THE MADNESS 👉 https://twitch.tv/KimberlyMcBlaze
‪
#Twitch #LiveNow #Gaming #TwitchStreamer #LiveOnTwitch #LiveNow #TwitchGaming #Streamer

Sorry if I'm all over the place, but I need to vent. I don't know what's with Mom, but she's getting increasingly agitated. She has been yelling at me and accusing me of things I am not and she refuses to listen to me when I tell her what is going on with me. She is accusing me of being a lazy good for nothing piece of trash and she thinks I'm faking autism as an excuse to be lazy. I'm not faking it, I have been diagnosed autistic by many different psychologists throughout the years. Not only am I autistic, I'm also struggling with my mental health, a lot. I am depressed, very depressed, so depressed that on many days, I just don't give a damn about my life. So depressed that any activity I do takes too much out of me, mentally. Even simple activities like cleaning my room is mentally draining. And it also doesn't help that my ADHD is in the way. I am mentally exhausted. I keep myself buried on the internet all day because it's the only outlet I have, the only place where I can escape my problems, the only place where I have any sort of social life, the only place where I can be free. I'm aware that my current lifestyle cannot be sustained forever, but I don't know what else to do. I wish I can life a normal life like any neurotypical person. I wish I never had these damn problems. If my damn father wasn't such a terrible person to me when I was growing up, maybe I'd be in a better place today and I would be better than I am now. My father was the biggest source of my deteriorating mental health. Bullies in school during my childhood is also another very big source of my deteriorating mental health. Those two things are still hurting me big time to this day. My mom's piece of trash boyfriend, another source. Lack of friends in person, lack of a life-long partner, also sources. The political nightmare together with the anti-transgender movement happening where I live now, also a huge source. Lots of other things are a source for my poor mental health. I'm struggling... so much so, I am overwhelmed. I just want a normal life! Why is a normal life so out of reach for me? Some idiots think that me transitioning into a woman is the source of my problems... no, it isn't. In fact, me transitioning from male to female actually took away a very huge source of my mental health problems, but transition alone isn't enough. Until I can move past my other issues, I don't think I can get better and right now, it seems very impossible to move past my issues...

I just went LIVE playing OUTBRK!

ENTER THE MADNESS 👉 https://twitch.tv/KimberlyMcBlaze

#Twitch #LiveNow #Gaming #TwitchStreamer #LiveOnTwitch #LiveNow #TwitchGaming #Streamer

I just went LIVE playing OUTBRK!

ENTER THE STORM-CHASING MADNESS 👉 https://twitch.tv/KimberlyMcBlaze

#Twitch #LiveNow #Gaming #TwitchStreamer #LiveOnTwitch #LiveNow #TwitchGaming #Streamer

I just went LIVE playing Sea of Thieves!

ENTER THE MADNESS 👉 https://twitch.tv/KimberlyMcBlaze

#Twitch #LiveNow #Gaming #TwitchStreamer #LiveOnTwitch #LiveNow #TwitchGaming #Streamer

I just went LIVE playing Dead by Daylight!

ENTER THE MADNESS 👉 https://twitch.tv/KimberlyMcBlaze

#Twitch #LiveNow #Gaming #TwitchStreamer #LiveOnTwitch #LiveNow #TwitchGaming #Streamer

I just went LIVE playing Phasmophobia!

ENTER THE MADNESS 👉 https://twitch.tv/KimberlyMcBlaze

#Twitch #LiveNow #Gaming #TwitchStreamer #LiveOnTwitch #LiveNow #TwitchGaming #Streamer

I just went LIVE playing Sea of Thieves

ENTER THE MADNESS 👉 https://twitch.tv/KimberlyMcBlaze

#Twitch #LiveNow #Gaming #TwitchStreamer #LiveOnTwitch #LiveNow #TwitchGaming #Streamer