Costume Supervisor: Heather Pain
Yeah, that sounds about right, looking at those costumes.
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature
#beastmaster3
Remote
Plaid
@plaidtron3000@jorts.horse
mastodon 4.3.0-alpha.3+glitch
"Fantastic orgy of destruction" is my middle name. It's hard to explain that to HR managers.
Shitpost machinegun.
Also huge nerd, but you'll have to wade through shitposts and #monsterdon toots to find anything of substance.
164 Followers
116 Following
50 Posts
Joined July 11, 2023
Pronouns:
He/His
Proverbs:
What profiteth it a kingdom if the oxen be deflated?
Riding 2-up on a galloping horse is a good way to have your testicles jolted up to your kidneys, and have your kidneys launched out your nose.
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature
#beastmaster3
I feel like they're setting up a TV series, but then the series went a different direction.
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature
#beastmaster3
In tonight's performance of "Mako: The Jaws of Death", the gross, corrupt bartender will be played by Temu Captain Kangaroo.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #MakeTheJawsOfDeath
Well, there's probably plenty of oxygen, if the fire can burn like that. Unless it's a fluorine environment, but then their suits would be on fire and shit.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
Replying to
What's this? I'll be here for realtime riffing of my favorite classic Vincent Price movie? Hell yes!
#monsterdon #HouseOnHauntedHill1959
So this is how Lrrr, ruler of Omicron Persei 8 finally dies.Tragic.
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature
#beastmaster3
@dank@jorts.horse Did your Rad bike have the annoying twist throttle where there’s only about 2 degrees of angle between “nope” and “OOPS ALL BEANS”?
Soiled satin dunes under a tooled steel sky.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
Time keeps on tickin tickin tickin
Into the fuuttuuuuuuuuuuuure
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
"Our watches have refused to run since landing on this planet."
Honey, I'm not running on that fucking planet either.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
"This is our 14th take, and there's footprints all around us. Should we rake them out or cover them or anything?"
SHUT UP KEEP ROLLING
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
I know why the civilization collapsed. An entire civilization enthralled with steampunk cannot survive.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
This long cave journey is about as moving and relevant to the film as the 20 minutes of driving in the opening of Manos.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
What’s with the bust of Donald Pleasence? #monsterdon #thestuff
"We should be able to reach the plateau by 3 in the afternoon!"
A perfectly usable measure, on Mars. When, as you already said yourself in narration, YOUR WATCHES DON'T WORK.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars #FuckContinuityAmIRight?
"We are not finished beastmaster"
So you're saying this won't be the last Beastmaster? UGH.
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature
#beastmaster3
"We can't afford a fight choreographer or stuntmen."
"Just shoot in the dark."
#monsterdon #doublefeature #MakeTheJawsOfDeath
"Scanner shows we're approaching something of monstrous size!"
Well, it sure ain't the budget.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
The power!
THE POWER!
- John Carradine
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
"It is the symbol of time common to all races."
"A pocket watch?"
"What? What the fuck is that? Of course not!"
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
We're doing down! On something of monstrous size!
hur hur hur
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
6 weeks into the new job. It’s stressful but I am doing the best work of my career. It’s unfortunate that I’m doing it for capitalists instead of making people’s lives better.
Waking up from mindless dust
My brain is enormous
My planet rust
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
If you rewrote this is a 5 page short story, Readers Digest would've rejected it as "pointless and silly."
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
Replying to
@floatybirb@mastodon.social @jsadow@c18.masto.host ok, sure but it's none-pizza-left-beef.
#monsterdon
"A volcanic cavern! I should've known we'd find this!"
Yes. You should've known you'd find vulcanism on mars. The planet with no vulcanism. The planet with no dynamo. The dead planet.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
I'm really struggling with suffering FUCKING MORONS gladly today.
Cuz it ain't fucking happening, and I'm gonna hit a motherfucker.
This could've been a short story.
This should've been a short story.
20 minutes of movie, tops. 30 pages of story, tops.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
Dar: "That sounds like a fine plan. But I'M driving."
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature
#beastmaster3
Captain Longshanks there is holding the hand of the femme officer, because like all mentally deficient people (i.e. women), she can't be trusted to walk alone in a dangerous environment.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
Today in “Wtf are you thinking”, Principal Security Architect exposed their whole ass by complaining in public Slack that a forced security update caused data loss by force closing an app with unsaved data.
The app that they’d been getting notifications about for two full weeks. That contained multiple critical CVEs. That they had every opportunity to save and quit and update multiple times a day for two weeks, with each annoying reminder.
Through hardships untold and dangers unnumbered, YOU MORTALS HAVE NO POWER OVER ME
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature
#beastmaster3
Watching Vincent and Alan Marshall waggling guns at each other
My mom: "Mine's bigger than yours!"
#monsterdon #houseonhauntedhill1959
how much exposition that doesn't move the story along are we going to be forced to endure?
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
You must walk without rhythm so you won't attract a worm.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
Giving aways his ferrets AGAIN, just like in Beastmaster 2, when he gave them to the girl before traveling through the dimensional portal.
I think he just keeps the names and gets new ferrets.
#monsterdon
#monsterdondoublefeature
#beastmaster3
"Whaddya looking at doc?"
"This rock formation! It looks like shotcrete over styrene!"
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
Oh boy their oxygen booster is some kinda magic ^h^h^h^h^h science device that allow them to breathe without their helmets.
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
OK, sure, but how did they get the rope to twine around Nora's feet like that?
#monsterdon #houseonhauntedhill1959
Wow, that wasn't just bad, it was egregious. It gave the finger to every precept of good cinema. The writing and direction was as bad as Manos, but with better production values (a low bar to step over)
#monsterdon #doublefeature #monsterdondoublefeature #WizardOfMars
Cool that the house has individual control for the gas lights in an alcove somewhere off screen.
#monsterdon #houseonhauntedhill1959
OK, houseowner dude. Consider draining the acid vat NOW?
#monsterdon #houseonhauntedhill1959