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kasdeya

@kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
akkoma 3.19.0
  • Open on cryptid.cafe
hi! idk how to write bios but I'm a succubus alterhuman. I tend to post about video games, TTRPGs, software stuff, and occasionally my own lewd fantasies

I like to use curly braces to {group words together} to (hopefully?) make my sentences easier to parse

I try to be over-the-top careful with CWing anything that I post or boost - including any content that might cause outrage/fear/anger/etc. you can watch CGP Grey's Thought Germs and How Anger Spreads ( https://youtu.be/rE3j_RHkqJc ) to learn most of the reason why I'm very careful with outrage-content, even if it's about important issues

replying to messages is very energy-intensive for me, so I may not reply to certain messages at all, or it may take me a long time
672 Followers
127 Following
50 Posts
pronouns:
she/her https://en.pronouns.page/@kasdeya_
version:
2.0.7
Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
making fun of C and Rust. scathingly mocking C++
C++ is so dogshit that it’s actually making me reevaluate my hatred for other languages. like at least Rust doesn’t have undefined behavior and memory corruption every time you sneeze at least in Common Lisp you can define a function one singular time. instead of twice in the same file, in completely separate places, just to save the compiler a tiny bit of extra effort. it even has a single unified import system! instead of two that you have to wrestle with simultaneously like you’re writing Java and C at the same time and it might be true that C makes even the simplest task into a nightmare headache but that’s because it was made in the 1500’s by Leonardo da Vinci out of mud and sticks. meanwhile C++ is still getting updates and they still can’t figure out how to make it into a real grown-up big boy language C++ is a compiler-first language: whatever’s easiest for the the compiler, that’s what you’re stuck with. who cares if the language is nice to use? the important thing is the compiler only needs to do one pass. all that undefined behavior is fine! that’s a surprise for the programmer
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago

I’m starting to think that FOSS projects should explicitly explain which problems are the user’s responsibility and which problems are the project’s responsibility - in a prominent place

because often I’ll start using some FOSS but it turns out that I’m expected to put in a lot more work than I have the energy to, and when I complain about it people tell me that it’s my responsibility to make sure that that problem doesn’t happen. if I had known that that was going to be my responsibility, I wouldn’t have used that software. but at that point I’m in an awkward position where I unexpectedly have to either put in effort to fix the problem, or put in effort to find and configure different software

some great examples are treesitter-nvim expecting users to figure out neovim version compatibility on their own, and Arch expecting users to keep up with Arch news so that they know which updates might bork something

IMO it’s totally fine to shift responsibility onto your users like that - just make sure that every user knows about this from the outset. that way nobody is stuck doing work that they don’t have the energy for, because their software unexpectedly stopped working and it’s their responsibility to fix it

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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
re: criticizing C++
C++ is a fantastic language if you hate yourself and want to make everything incredibly complicated and difficult in order to save 400 bytes of memory C++ is missing features that I didn’t even know it was possible for a language to leave out
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Boosted by @kkarhan@jorts.horse
CW-boost: mental health advice, especially relevant to Internetting
@valkyrie@wandering.shop RE: https://wandering.shop/@valkyrie/116472322220496938
Open quoted post
Quoting
v
@valkyrie@wandering.shop
Open quoted post
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
criticizing C++
this language was definitely developed before people figured out how to make sane languages that make sense by the way, some of these cout directives only take effect for the next value to be printed, but others take effect forever! some of them also behave unpredictably and in ways that seemingly contradict the documentation! also, importing things in this language is a nightmare! there are basically two separate import systems stacked on top of each other, and both of them are terrible! if you want to import something you have to use both simultaneously which is a very smart and good decision also if you make any mistake whatsoever - no matter how small - C++ will just run with it and ruin everything and probably corrupt some memory while it’s at it too. it doesn’t care - there are no rules here. my LSP won’t warn me either this is not a language - this is 12 layers of x86 assembly preprocessors in a trenchcoat
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago

now that I’m done with C++ until my college class, I’ve moved on to making a CHIP-8 emulator in Python! which has been a lot of fun so far

in theory I’ve implemented all of the basic instructions, but I’m currently in the process of writing unit-tests for all of them to make sure that they actually work

https://gitlab.com/__kasdeya__/chip-8

I’ve already learned a lot about how the stack works at a very low level, and I’m getting much more of an intuition for low-level memory stuff in general

the hardest parts will be getting keyboard input and video output to work, but I bet I can figure those out

gitlab.com
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
formatting and printing values in C++ seems nice and normal and not insane at all 🙃 #include#include using namespace std; int main() { cout << fixed << showpoint << setprecision(2) << setw(9) << 34.789 << endl; cout << fixed << showpoint << setprecision(3) << setw(5) << 7.0 << endl; cout << fixed << noshowpoint << 5.789e12 << endl; cout << left << setw(7) << 67 << endl; }
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
wait omgg this literally means that the most primitive way to define a function could be to give it its own form as a table. that’s fucking incredible actually?? it could even recurse without having any name in any namespace because a reference to itself would be contained in the form holy shit ((primitive-function (print _args.0) ; -> «the function itself» (print _args.1) ; -> 666 (print _args.foo) 668) ; -> 667 666 [:foo 667]) ; -> 668 this is actually genius what the fuck. there is no way that this is actually as good of an idea as I think it is. there must be some reason why this won’t work
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
re: criticizing C++
@tranquillity@mastodon.minionflo.net I can really see why omg. and I’m only on chapter 6/21 of an introductory book on the language it feels like they tried to make C nicer to use with abstractions, but then those abstractions turned out to be horrendously leaky so they tried to fix those with even leakier abstractions. so now I’ve got 3 ways to do everything and all of them are footguns
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@jacqueline it’s amazing how many broken projects practically insist on you using Docker to run them, and then when you try it out of desperation the Docker image is broken too. I hate containerization so much
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@yuki@nyanya.gay to be honest I always thought that those sections were meant to protect against getting sued, rather than a way for the contributors to say “we don’t feel any responsibility for ensuring that our software works, or for fixing any issues with it, or for preventing it from causing any type of harm”. I think it’s just to protect the people who work on it like, can you imagine how terrible the Linux world would be if every aspect of it was treated as “we’re just going to push some code out there, and it’s the user’s fault if it melts their GPU”? I could maybe use some small, simple open-source apps that had a cultural attitude like that, as long as I wasn’t too dependent on them and there were alternatives that I could switch to if they got borked. (I’d also carefully virus-scan them lol) but I definitely wouldn’t want to run device drivers or an operating system made with that type of philosophy
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@adhd_coffee@mastodon.social I feel this so much
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 4mo ago

@Melezioh@mstdn.games

RE: @Melezioh@mstdn.games

mstdn.games
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@desea@snug.moe omg thank you! I was definitely trying to (mostly) go for funny so I’m glad it worked
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
omg wait this also means that macros would have access to every single namespace (that is visible from within the T-expression that they’re being called inside of) if they wanted that access! that’s actually really cool - macros could redefine whatever variable they wanted, at whatever level of scope they wanted. obviously that’s an extremely dangerous thing to be able to do, but it makes macros even more powerful than in most Lisps. I’m all for giving people as much power as possible, even if it’s dangerous, and trusting them to not break anything the reason why that would work is because I want to create a special variable for accessing parent namespaces (which unfortunately will require a small amount of magic): [variable 666] (let ([variable 667]) (let ([variable 668]) (print variable) ; -> 668 (print _P.variable) ; -> 667 (print _P._P.variable))) ; -> 666
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
this does mean that the semantics of foo.bar.baz would change from (. foo 'bar 'baz) to (. foo :bar :baz) but that’s really not that bad, I don’t think. bar and baz are already being quoted in the first example, so the implicit behavior of turning them into keywords (instead of symbol literals) is really not that big of a deal
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@TheGreenHerring@chitter.xyz I did a fucking double-take seeing this on my timeline. I was like “surely this art style didn’t exist in 1991”. and then I read the description incredible pixel art tbh - it looks so believable
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@mioontje@girlcock.club ohhh, fuck you look incredible. the way the light accentuates your curves is just 🥵
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@CIMB4@norden.social I absolutely hate how reliant on software cars are becoming. in some of them you have to use software to even open the glovebox, and I wouldn’t be surprised if some of them need software to even start. I find that incredibly sketchy because software is maybe the most error-prone piece of technology that a car could have. if anything is going to break, it’s going to be that, and then your car is just a brick that won’t even start
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 3mo ago
Replying to
re: random tech complaining
call me crazy but I think that {arbitrarily manipulating a multiversal time stream while averting all time paradoxes} is not a good thing to be doing on a glorified teletype emulator. I’m pretty sure the command line is best suited for extremely basic tasks like batch renaming files or starting and stopping services. you know, things that you could reasonably learn how to do without memorizing dozens of subcommands and command-line flags and at least one domain-specific language and an entire new vocabulary of arcane jargon while interpreting a cryptic one-dimensional unicode representation of literal multiversal timelines
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 2mo ago

friendly reminder that due to the effects of climate change Madeleine’s flesh will enter its mortification phase about one month early this year. that means the start of August is the perfect time to ensure your community is protected by taking early preventative measures, such as:

  • burning sacramental items
  • drawing sigils on any unprotected doors and windows in your neighborhood
  • salt-cleansing nearby cairns

if you studied Elder Futhark to prepare for Madeleine’s first arrival this is a good time to brush up on your knowledge

most importantly, remember that mandevilla velutina must be prepared beforehand by crushing or finely grinding it and then soaking it in alcohol - it will not draw the venom out otherwise - so make sure you have a good amount of prepared velutina in an easily-accessible place before the harrowing

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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 2mo ago
how I imagine cishet sex works based on cishet porn (misogyny)
man: babe I am horny I need woman hole woman: I will expose woman hole for you babe man: *slaps her ass territorially* yes show me your filthy woman whole, dirty whore-slut woman: this arouses me man: *caveman grunt* foreplay is now over. I will jackhammer you babe woman: I will be inanimate for you babe man: you love how we can only conceptualize penis vagina sex babe? woman, fake-moaning like a porn star: yes babe I love how you have never touched my clit in our entire relationship man: what’s a clit? *cums stoically because emotions are gay*
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 1w ago

how it feels to wake up every morning in 2026

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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 3mo ago
Replying to
re: random tech complaining
I’ve been learning jujutsu because it’s supposed to suck less than git does, but jujutsu sucks so much that I’ve been tempted to just go back to git instead. and in my experience what that impulse means (I.E. always wanting to use the one that I’m not currently using) is that all of the options are ass and I just need to arbitrarily pick one to grit my teeth through learning
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 2mo ago
they should make sensory-friendly arcades for autistic video game nerds like me. I wanna go to free play arcades too but not when every arcade game is flashing and screaming at me T_T
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 3mo ago
Replying to
@annika@xoxo.zone this is truly cursed
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 4mo ago
CW-boost: trans men and penis size
@Melezioh@mstdn.games RE: https://mstdn.games/@Melezioh/116693272428975429
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@gracie@mk.absturztau.be @tranquillity@mastodon.minionflo.net awww! 🫂 I believe in you - I know you can learn it! but also I really feel that T_T. C++ is such a stark language. even incredibly basic things like “get data from the user, normalize it, and validate it” become so so difficult
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 2w ago
succubus curses (roll 1d8 to figure out which one you get) (lewd, kinky)
you’re unable to cum unless a stranger is watchingreaching orgasm is 10x more difficult but all pleasure is magnified 10xwearing clothes causes constant sexual pleasure which increases the more skin is covered. you’re unable to cum unless completely undressedevery time someone brings you to orgasm, your personality and body changes slightly to better suit their preferencesevery night, you’re afflicted with the same vivid lewd dream about serving the succubus. you’ll be unable to cum until you re-enact the dream with someone, at which point the dream will change, becoming slightly more extreme, and the cycle continuesyou’re completely unable to masturbate, but your libido, arousal, and sexual need are doubledwhenever you’re in a relationship, your partner(s) can see all of your sexual fantasies in real-time. they also know when you’re touching yourself to them, and they decide which ones you’re allowed to orgasm to. if you’re not in a relationship this applies to the last person you’ve flirted with insteadroll two more times. you’re afflicted with both curses at once
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 6d ago

the System Shock 2 remaster is free on Epic Games right now!

CWs: this is a horror game with body horror and extreme corporate cruelty as central themes (these are the most prominent potentially triggering things but there are lots more so please look more into it if this is concerning)

store.epicgames.com
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 3d ago

“Mickey Mouse? the Kingdom Hearts character?”

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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 6d ago

I have a Fedi etiquette question for y’all:

if you see one-half of a followers-only conversation between two Fedi users, do you just kinda pretend that you don’t see the conversation at all? or is it okay to like/favorite specific messages?

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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 5mo ago
Replying to
@foxysen@social.mootech.eu oof - yeah I’ve encountered the iterator system a little bit. I don’t really understand it at all but it seems so strange and confusing. I’m just happy that I understand it enough to kinda use it most of the time lol
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 2mo ago
Replying to
like, C’s underlying concept of how the CPU works is just as abstract and arbitrary as Lua’s set of abstractions or Lisp’s. the only reason why C is fast is because CPUs were designed around making it fast by pretending to be the type of CPU that C was originally made for, and then compilers on top of that are able to optimize it even more. so all of the finicky technical details that C makes you keep track of are essentially fake - as if it’s running on a virtual machine
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 2mo ago
the gunplay of the #HalfLife games makes a lot more sense when you realize that Gordon is a theoretical physicist who has probably never fired a gun in his entire life before the Black Mesa incident “why does the SMG spray all over the place?” he doesn’t know that there’s a collapsible stock so he’s shooting exclusively from the hip “why can’t I aim down sights?” I’m not even sure if he knows what iron sights are
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 2mo ago

robotgirl domme with four configurable difficulty settings:

  • hey, not too rough
  • hurt me plenty
  • ultra-violence
  • nightmare
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 3mo ago
this used to confuse me as a kid but now it just irrationally annoys me
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 2mo ago
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
food shitpost
it’s a common misconception that vanilla is a flavor vanilla is not a flavor for the same reason that black is not a color: it describes the absence of flavor. vanilla can only exist when all flavors have been eliminated that’s why flavorless ice cream is called “vanilla”, flavorless pudding is called “vanilla”, and flavorless milk shakes are called “vanilla”. vanilla extract is a substance derived from tap water that actively leeches the flavor out of whatever it touches: a solipsistic distillation of “is not” that is actively hostile to sensory experience. if you were to cut off your own tongue, you would taste vanilla for the rest of your life
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Open post
kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 3mo ago
Replying to
re: complaining about C++ again
also I still think the syntax around pointers and arrays is inconsistent and could’ve been done much better. every time I type *var or var[] or &var I feel a little dirty
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 3mo ago
Replying to
re: complaining about C++ again
I would really love if someone made a language that’s as low-level and simple as C, but without all the bad/inconsistent decisions of C
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 2w ago
Replying to
re: succubus curses (roll 1d8 to figure out which one you get) (lewd, kinky)
@smolcasm@void.lgbt oohh - I like the concept of you constantly shifting forms and sizes like that. if you found macrophiles/microphiles who liked big/small enough beings you would change a lot with each orgasm - and who knows what size you would end up by the time they were done~ probably a very inconvenient one, if I had to guess~ also, seven is definitely one of my favorites 💙
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 1mo ago
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
the problem with grindy games in 2026 is grinding takes way too much brainpower “target the weak point”, “don’t forget to parry”, “keep your skill rotation up and don’t drop the combo”, “mine with perfect timing for optimal ore yields” Runescape would let you just click on colored rocks while dissociating and listening to 4 hours of drone metal
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kasdeya @kasdeya@cryptid.cafe
· 1w ago

brats like you love to talk a big game before I pump them full of a massive overdose of my aphrodisiac. then they can’t really talk at all - especially not through all of the moaning and shivering at every little current of air flowing over their exposed skin. but I know through all of that, that you can still understand me. so I’m going to make sure you know exactly what I’m about to do to you

good thing you didn’t notice me put my orgasm denial curse on you while you were teasing me. what were you saying again~? something about “do your worst” and “doubt you could even make me cum”~? maybe you’re right. maybe for the dozens of hours it’s going to take for all of my venom to slowly loosen its grip over your body, maybe I won’t be able to make you cum at all… despite my best efforts, of course~

and I will use my best efforts~ I’ll find every single weak point and sensitive area your body has to offer, and torture every single one of them with as much pleasure as I can possibly inflict~ maybe then you’ll finally cum~ who knows~? oh! did you know about this one~? if I touch you right here then you’ll- oops! looks like your body broke already~ such a fragile creature you are~

I guess that means I’ll have to put this healing collar on you to continuously keep your body alive and healthy~ oh it does have other enchantments on it besides healing, but you’ll learn about those later~ when you try to take it off~

I’m just getting started, by the way~ I hope your mind is stronger than your body, because there’s nothing protecting that~ if it breaks too much I might just have to rebuild it myself and keep you~

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