no.

back at the chalkboard writing “i am not allowed to watch horror no matter how funny or well-written or how much i enjoy it because i am not mentally strong enough to put it out of my mind” 500 times

my boss was saying how useful it is to have my input and he quoted something i said in a meeting yesterday, but when he was quoting me he did a classic “nerd voice” if you were wondering how i am perceived in the workplace

just apologized to a bird

so naturally “dad energy” and “uncle energy” are very similar, it’s just that, on average, “uncle energy” is gayer and more divorced. that’s just a statistical thing; it doesn’t necessarily apply to a given uncle or a given dad

in may 2024 i got a song stuck in my head but i couldn't figure out what song it was (i know the timing cause i texted like 400 people to see if they recognized it and no one did). drove me nuts but i just moved on for a couple years. AND I JUST FINALLY FOUND IT AGAIN https://themineralgirls.bandcamp.com/track/was-the-worst-thing-that-ever-happened-to-me

had a dream that a raven had taken a liking to me and started following me around i lnobody who knows about omens or symbols tells me what that means

diet culture is such a fucking scam. you pretend you “don’t like sweets” for your entire adult life just so that boring people will think you are kinda hot for a while and then by the time you hit 33 you look like sue sylvester with smaller tits

wow i just found out that jesse mccartney of dreamstreet is alive (i thought he and aaron carter were the same person). congrats to him and sorry for any confusion

i bet meadow soprano had undiagnosed inattentive adhd. in case anyone is thinking about 30 year old tv shows or whatever

just saw a haircut so bad i felt my jaw drop in public. i feel confident it will be everywhere by Q2-Q3 2027

just had the thought, “i should see if my pals wanna go hit up dave and buster’s sometime…. could go for some dave and buster’s” immediately followed by “if only there was a special occasion…. can’t go to dave and buster’s sometime’s without a special occasion…”

i s2g the regent does not want to fucking win jfc

i think on your birthday, you should get to wish everyone a happy birthday instead of the other way around. just going through messaging every friend and acquaintance in your phone. texting your pharmacy. emailing every single brand you’ve ever interacted with. walking up to strangers on the street. etc etc

does taylor swift ever have like… jury duty? what happens with that

sucks when you are sleepy but you are having a Good Hair Day and so you can’t take a nap cause it will send you to da bad hair zone

getting the costar app to see if i’m gonna be friends with my pregnant pal’s future baby

psa that nirvanna the band the show the movie is insanely good and you should see it immediately