A bit of advice:
Don't be the reason why people within micshot have to turn off their phones because they don't want to be vanned by whatever agency is listening. You don't want to be that guy. We will find you.
Remote
ShawnT 🐀🎃🦇
@phaysis@mastodon.coffee
mastodon 4.7.2King of Fixing Things #RatVerified #ComputerToucher
285 Followers
462 Following
50 Posts
Joined November 05, 2022
Homepage:
Hometown:
#Austin, TX
Weird. I don't remember any guitarists' names anymore. Does anybody?
Replying to
Eat deep the gathering spoon
Watch mates come from every room
Chair sitter housemates look on and relent
Another meal's tasty energy is spent
Impassioned diners, digesters one
Hungry man cries for rolls and they come
New mothers scoot up and supple their sons
Senior citizens wish Matlock was on
Cold-frozen yogurt that rules delight
Remove the dishes from our sight
Red is jam and yellow tart
But we decide which is smart
And which is consumption
#MoodyBlues #SorryNotSorry
My chair has a lever that drops me down closer to my noodles. My ancestors never dreamed of this kind of luxury.
My small apartment complex is owned by a private individual. Got a Dear John letter from the manager saying it's under sale, and the potential buyer, a "group", is touring the property today to take pictures of everyone's apartments for "due diligence".
This is fine. I just have to clean up, hide my things, angle my security cameras so I catch more of the inside, etcetera. Hope my rent won't go up (it will).
If you cut down a Flock camera, for the love of God, don't leave it there on the ground. Take it offsite, dump it in a ravine or river or dumpster or something. Make it unretrievable.
I pooped and it formed a pentagram, send for the priest.
Whenever I drop a morsel of food on the floor, desk, or any other 5-second-rule zone, I always, WITHOUT FAIL, say, "Aw maaan, that was the BEST PIECE." Always. And there's never anyone around but me to laugh. But I commit to the bit because I have standards.
Yo gurl are you the Notre Dame? Because yo buttresses are FLYIN.
eating baked beans and a ham sandwich for dinner on a monday night, because nothing means anything anymore and you're not my real dad.
Some soup soaked into my moustache and then dripped onto the front of my shirt. When I saw it, I almost choked on my soup. Clearly, having soup is the best idea of my day.
Gunter Gleeben Glouten Globen
He died how he lived: crushed under a heavy weight.
May 3rd, 2026: I update the copyright date on my blog to 2026. I Am On Top of Things.
I dunno, guys, but I have my doubts about King Charles knowing the average airspeed velocity of any unladened swallow, no matter the regional species.
Hot singles are in your wallet!
CLICK HERE to give them to me!
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@tubetime@mastodon.social Hard to tell! Reference display for video circuits? I see the ammeter for the anode, but the plugs for hsync and vsync clocks is a tell-tale. Can't make out the plugs underneath. Curious!
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@benbrown@masto.hackers.town Quick! Set up a burner Signal account while you're still there!
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@LoganFive My mother used to make my sandwiches with love, but unfortunately she took a bite out of the corner, which removed at least, like, 100 of the 200 extra Calories.
Why no Gandalf the Black?
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@Alice I'm afraid of getting famous because I don't want to be on an episode of "Hot Ones". I can't do that many Scovilles and keep my composure.
Oh fun. My bank just notified me that they raised my credit limit on my bank card. Which is fortuitous, because that's the amount I need to spend to build my own fileserver now. Serendipity! 🌈
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@donni@mastodon.social Listening to the latest album from that band Polycrisis Spree, bopping my head.
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@filmfileuk@mastodonapp.uk I'm quite the fan of "Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon" (2006). Turns the thriller-killer genre on its head a bit with some behind the scenes action.
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@adhdeanasl@beige.party I start slapping every surface and control in my car when "Pushit" comes on. Nearby cars start moving away.
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@rotopenguin @NanoRaptor Was Bill Nighy in "Broadchurch"? I'm sure he was in there somewhere.
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@NanoRaptor Ah, yes, my first career. Those inks look fairly fresh; worst is using old ink cans from back stock because your shop is too cheap to let you use the fresh stuff on this one job. You're spending your shift picking hickies off the blankets. And god help you if you're using fast blue lake as a spot color; that stuff refuses to wash out of the rollers.
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@screambiogenesis@mastodon.social @tubetime@mastodon.social by gum, I think you've got it!
If *I* was a starship captain, I'd, like, have *other* members of my crew do the away missions. No sense risking the mission because I wanted a walkabout. They should be trained enough.
Leguke, I am your farter!
Yakiudon
Wakiudon
& Dotiudon
The year is 2026. Everyone at the coffee shop has an external second screen connected to their laptop. You feel simultaneously inadequate and liberated.
And annoyed that they've pulled tables together to spread out for space.
I wonder if there was an explosion at the Jimmy Dean link pork sausage plant, because #HEB has been out of it for the past 2 weeks. Not even an empty spot in the display case where it would've been (otherwise that'd indicate online orders buy it all up before I get there). But then again HEB does that when they can't order products to carry at the price they want. This is the future, and the future is now, I guess.
#AustinTX
When security walks through the lab, I instinctively put down my phone and put my hands on my keyboard as if they were the goddamn school principal looking to bust me for slacking off. I apparently had a very protestant upbringing.
Today I Learned: In the state of Texas, if you pay for medications and take them out of the pharmacy, and later learn you don't need them, you cannot return them to the pharmacy for a refund, even if they are unopened. Now you know too.
Anybody looking for a pharmaceutical-strength laxative? I know a guy.
#TodayILearned
Loving you
Is easy 'cause you're beautiful
But can you imagine the struggle
If you were ugly?
Christ!
I see people in my urban neighborhood walking for exercise with lead-weighted vests, and my only thought is, "Bruhs and sistas, WHY? What are you trying to do?" Just walk with a backpack full of books to the cafe on the other end of the hood, and you can survive the apocalypse like the rest of us. No need to give Cabella's more of your waning money.