the plural of Windex is Windices
Remote
Pastor of Muppets
@middleclasstool@phire.place
I won't say a hero. 'Cause what's a hero. But sometimes there's a...
51 Followers
378 Following
39 Posts
Joined January 14, 2023
Website:
Pronouns:
He/They/Y'all
Faith:
Buddhist, but not in an "I'm training for a marathon" way
Exercising at 20 was like "I want to have a sexy body for the sexy sexytimes with the sexy people who like sexiness" but now at 50 it's like "I'd like to live the rest of my life without anyone putting the words 'fall risk' in my medical chart"
I put a new sticker on the Outback
Me : WHEW
Wife: How was your walk?
Me: Sticky!
Brain: you mean...
Me: Wait, let's talk about this
Brain: IT'S STICKY TO WALK AROUND TO WALK AROUND THAT'S RIGHT ON TIME IT'S STICKAAAAAY
Me: goddamn it
Brain: STICKY
STICKY
STICKY
STICKY
If Ellen Burstyn had married Red Buttons, would her name be Ellen Burstyn-Buttons?
Replying to
And if you're an iOS developer thinking "there's no way Apple would allow this," you're half right. There's no way Apple would allow YOU to do this. But App Store review policies are capricious as hell, and they make exceptions for major players all the time. With current leadership the way it is, they will absolutely allow this horseshit into the App Store.
Exciting news, everyone
We are behind a semi that is camped out in the passing lane. One of his rear trailer doors is labeled "DO NOT PASS ON THE RIGHT" my dude I know of a solid strategy to ensure that
My favorite thing about writing the word "y'all's" is that it has two apostrophes and that makes me feel fancy, like I'm French or something
Arkansas Public Television is saved, thanks to a huge grassroots fundraising effort and a whole lot of public screaming. It isn't getting turned into some MAGAtainment cultural vacuum, thank god.
The lesson here, I think, is when they go low, we pick up whatever useful piece of building material is at hand, and we swing it as hard as we can. Then we get to work.
https://arktimes.com/arkansas-blog/2026/06/04/grassroots-statewide-effort-saves-arkansas-pbs-for-now
Back home from vacation a day early. Dad had a stroke. He's fine, partially paralyzed but stable and back at the nursing home. Brother came down to be with us. I'm kind of hoping for a quick and easy exit now, but we're taking it a day at a time.
Just saw two white dudes with the same tattoo and realized that, whenever I see that, even if I don't know what the symbol is for, my immediate thought is "well, that can't be good."
Nick Offerman is a national treasure and must be protected at all costs. A permanent secret service detail for him, Alan Tudyk, and their loved ones.
Vox last month: "AI datacenters are GOOD for rural communities, actually"
Me: wtf is happening here
News two days later: One of the Murdochs has purchased Vox
Me: ah yes the universe makes sense again
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@lackthereof@beige.party I wish I didn't know.
I saw a reference to Deep Purple three hours ago and have had In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida stuck in my head ever since. And, yes, I know that was Iron Butterfly and not Deep Purple. My brain doesn't seem to care.
Dow! Dow! Dowdowdowdow! Dow! Dow! Dow!
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Italo Calvino was throwing shade at the AI people 47 years ago.
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@TheBreadmonkey what is even hampening
Conversation at dinner tonight:
References to His Dark Materials ➡️ I wish I had an armored bear ➡️ we should get armor for Pete ➡️ I wonder how expensive that would be ➡️ maybe instead we make a saddle for him and get a monkey ➡️ wait, instead of a monkey, how about our grandnephew?
Today is Mugsy's ninth birthday. He is old and cranky and likes to scream at everything that walks past our house. And I love him. He is eating his birthday cookie, which I had to bust up with a rolling pin for him, as I write this.
Happy birthday, Booger Shoes. You're a good boy. #mastodogs #dogsofmastodon
Edit: forgot alt text, sorry
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@Devils_Rancher I feel like she needs me to take a nap with her and then she'd be okay
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@Devils_Rancher When the dog alert system spins up, why would you stand in the way
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@abetterjulie@wandering.shop I seriously need to read that. Everyone says it's wonderful.
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@coriolisdave@phire.place it is the language of Mordor. Which I will not utter here.
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@Alice@beige.party because of encounters with locals, my wife and I call prosciutto "proSKEEto" and gnocchi "guhNOOchee"
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@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party this is useful perspective for me. I am also invested in you not being the worst, because if I was friends with the worst person, well, that's not good for me.
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@futurebird I want you to know how proud I am of you for doing this. You have made the world a little bit worse, in the best way.
@Alice frustrating that I can't tell Roll Orientation from this
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@joshmillard@mastodon.social am I counting wrong, or is the one on the right just six?
in which Lucy Darling comes to terms with regional cuisine https://youtube.com/shorts/VgOToFl6m38
A bag of what? #Shorts
Replying to
@beep@follow.ethanmarcotte.com drinking game for "New York City"
RE: https://mastodon.world/@mattmaison/116502572478766326
I'll play. In no particular order:
Station Eleven
The Leftovers
Avatar: The Last Airbender
The Wire
Breaking Bad
Severance
Shrinking
The Muppet Show (original run)
Carnivale
Deadwood
Midnight Mass
Star Trek TNG
Star Trek SNW
The Carol Burnette Show
Battlestar Galactica (2004)