croissant

"SARS is not airborne." — Bonnie Henry, 2003

"Unlike SARS, COVID-19 is not airborne." — Bonnie Henry, 2020

"Unlike COVID-19, Hantavirus is not airborne." — Bonnie Henry, 2026

if encouraging people to wear masks isn't working, maybe we should discourage them instead?

"you can't handle an N95. it's too powerful for you."

"i haven't been sick since 2019. it's not for the faint of heart."

"i keep having to pick up slack for my sick colleagues. it's unenviable."

"you couldn't handle doing something that others disapprove of. turn back before it's too late."

"you don't want to know the historical reasons your doctor thinks masks are useless. it'll make you so angry."

"i can form complete sentences without using chatGPT. i'll get fired soon if things don't change."

UNMASKED IDIOTS GAWKING AT MY ELASTOMERIC AS IF THAT'S THE MOST REMARKABLE THING THEY'VE SEEN TODAY AND NOT THE BLANKET OF SMOKE SO THICK IT SMELLS LIKE YOU'RE STANDING RIGHT ABOVE A CHARCOAL BARBECUE COOKING A DELICIOUS MEAL

Them: COVID is here to stay!

Me: Gotcha, assume it's omnipresent given rates of asymptomatic spread while I continue steadfastly refusing to join the nihilists.

[Later…]

Them: AI is here to stay!

Me: Gotcha, assume that everyone around me is happily faking everything they do while I continue steadfastly refusing to join the nihilists.

Everyone in 2022: Now that we've been vaccinated, let's return to the same socioeconomic conditions that allowed COVID to become widespread in the first place!

Everyone in 2024: Why is everyone suddenly so sick all the time?

Everyone in 2026: My doctor says it's normal for kids to be sick more often than not. We're building our immune systems! I had my third heart attack after my 37th birthday party last month.

it's airborne btw

covid advocates are doing themselves a disservice by making outlandish claims like "covid isn't over" or "catching covid makes you sick" or "long covid is bad" or "doctors have a long history of motivated denial of airborne transmission" or "vaccines help" or "masks work" or "clean air is healthy" or "viruses are real"

God forbid someone doesn't want to get sick.

The Ontario SARS Commission's Final Report should be required reading for anyone with the misfortune of living somewhere where Bonnie Henry is currently the Chief Medical Officer of Health.

Are you a COVID cautious person looking to hire a software developer (or someone for a similar role) in Canada? Because I'm looking to #GetFediHired for exactly that, and I know #CovidIsNotOver.

Are you SICK AND TIRED of watching your colleagues constantly get SICK while progressively getting more TIRED from it? What about those careless mistakes that keep piling up? Not a problem for me because I don't mess with airborne viruses, especially not those which cause brain damage! I'll never past-tense the pandemic either, because I prefer speaking honestly instead of ass-kissingly.

I've got approximately 5 years of professional experience on the job, with even more experience developing my own free software projects (on top of contributing to others). As you can no doubt appreciate, languages and technologies don't matter as much as does the ability to learn; During my last three jobs, I went from not having ever used C# to being able to excel at it, I went from never having touched React to writing my own apps in it, and I went from not having seen Typescript to having overhauled a critical component of the codebase with it. As long as there's a codebase to work off of, I WILL learn from it.

I'm looking for a remote role, and by remote I mean REMOTE. No so-called "hybrid remote" where I'm expected to catch SARS two or three days a week, no offsites where I'm expected to catch SARS four times a year, but actual remote work where I can work remotely without being punished for opting to work instead of whatever happens in the office/AirBnB. My time zone is UTC-5 (Eastern Time), and I've had success working for a company which operated on Pacific Time—great for avoiding morning interruptions.

Interested? If so, please DM me here so we can get to know each other and figure out if I'd be a good fit.

Boosts appreciated!