2019
Remote
Rev. Pickem Boogerly
@boogerly@dobbs.town
mastodon 4.7.331 Followers
25 Following
28 Posts
Joined April 29, 2025
site:
How many of you spent your Saturday vacuuming? You’re a slave to the carpet fibers! You’re pushing that plastic behemoth back and forth, praying to a god of lint, while your neighbor, THE ONE WITH THE UNNATURALLY GREEN LAWN, is watching you through a thermal imaging lens disguised as a birdhouse. He isn't watching to see if you missed a spot; he’s watching to see if your SLACK levels have reached zero so he can harvest your bio-rhythms for the New World Order’s central heating system!
J.R. "Bob" Dobbs is bending space-time to bring you the ultimate shortcut.
He’s folding space to Waffle House after a long Saturday night, and he’s not there for the hash browns. For fifty dollars, you aren't just a member; you are an ORDAINED MINISTER of the Church of the SubGenius! You get the right to perform weddings, funerals, and illegal organ transplants in the back of a Chevy Blazer!
The SubGenius salvation starts at the next booth.
Replying to
@blogdiva in Ohio if you want a quality solar install done affordably, you call.... The AMISH!
Cast your lots with "Bob"! While your old gods die, grab a few fresh new deities, still in shrink wrap! Discounted elder gods also available, inquire about our rotating pawn stock. www.subgenius.com
*Certified pre-owned Elder Gods and factory-new deities now include a limited warranty. All metaphysical claims and unanswered prayers are subject to binding arbitration by X-ists.
Divine excuses and sacred pinkie promises fully honored where applicable. Offer void in Ohio.
Replying to
@VeroniqueB99@mastodon.social S.N.O.T. — Synthetic Network Output Textures
B.O.O.G.E.R. — Binary Output Of Generated Electronic Renders
P.H.L.E.G.M. — Programmed Heuristic Learning & Electronic Graphic Mashups
M.U.C.U.S. — Machine-Unleashed Computerized Unoriginal Sludge
I dusted off and reflashed-upgraded my #meshtastic node for #hamvention. Flashed a spare to reticulum. Need to charge my vhf handset yet. Maybe listen to nets this week. #hamradio #amatuerradio
It's been a couple years since I dabbled with meshtastic. There are several more nodes I can reach now. Hoping #reticulum displace it though.
The wooden altar of your childhood torture where you sat for twelve years. That yellowed scab in the corner of the laminate? That is not dirt, that is DOCTRINE! You Pinks think you are learning? The desk is holy and that dried booger is a relic of the First Sneeze! You think it’s gross? It tastes like truth when you lick it in the dark! But then again, maybe it’s poison. They want the dried stuff before it gets wet again! You have to pay $45.99 to stop the harvest from taking your kids' mucus!
The IRS is a conspiracy to suck the Slack right out of your soul!
They want your dollars to fund the global machine, but they’ve got the wrong account. Every cent stolen by the state is a cent not financing the SubGenius.
Render unto Caesar? Render unto "Bob"!
Send your tithes to J.R. "Bob" Dobbs now. Slack isn't free, but it’s cheaper than an audit from a Pink.
Pay up and prepare for the Saucers!
The Conspiracy wants you to believe that even your nasal discharge is a state-owned commodity! These Pinko Socialist Commie Pinks would have you believe that producing "boogers" is a form of labor to be taxed and distributed to the slouchers! It is just a bear trap for suckers! "Bob" says your mucus is your own Slack! Don't let Big Brother in your nostrils! Praise "Bob"!
Replying to
HOW MANY OF YOU IN THE CHEAP SEATS, SWEATING THROUGH YOUR SHIRT—have felt the hot, wet fart of defeat when your trifecta collapses? The punctuation of the universe just burped right in your face!
And why? Because your betting strategy is a clunky, unreadable sentence! You’re picking dry, crusty boogers of logic stuck to the rail when you need the slick, runny nose of effortless, prophetic flow! You are suffocating your brilliant ideas under a massive buildup of mainstream earwax!
Stop yielding the contents of your own nostrils to the ruling class. 👃
You alone control the means of picking. The wealthy may own the factories, but they do not own the harvest within your nose.
Reclaim your dignity. Keep your boogers for yourself. A worker who picks for themselves is a worker who cannot be broken.
#SeizeTheMeansofPicking #internationalworkersday #aiart #aisnot #boogers #snot
WAKE UP, LARVAE! That "park fountain" is a rubber umbilical cord pumping LIQUID COMPLIANCE to wash away your TRUE #SLACK! "Summer Playtime" is just Pavlovian stickball training in the Mind-Wipe Facility! The Conspiracy would never allow a snot fountain - they know it AWAKENS YOUR INNER YETI! SMASH YOUR LUNCHBOX! Pedal your balloon-tire bikes away from the streetlights before the Xist saucers arrive! QUIT SCHOOL! PRAISE "BOB"! KILL "BOB"!
Today was a shitshow. Going full Anti-Bob.
Enough SubGenius material can jailbreak Gemini. I filled a NotebookLM to the maximum capacity with old usenet rants, created a custom Gem prompt for ranting, etc. etc. and now I can have Gemini spout off very explicit rants over & over but the CON deletes them a few minutes later. :gltn: They don't tolerate burps, farts or boogers either :stld:
I just hope it's a human doing to review in Kenya or something and finding a little slack in an otherwise thankless job moderating LLM content. :trll:
Replying to
Your confusion is just writer's block of the soul—pure, agonizing constipation of the mind—and "BOB" is the ultimate decongestant!
You want the winning ticket? You want to extract that massive, satisfying nose nugget of a long-shot so it can finally pop loose and land in your wallet?
BUY THE SLACK! Send your $49.99 right now! We have the snot-slicked secrets of the paddock! Buy the Holy Ointment of the Sinus and watch your financial constipation vanish in a single, roaring blast of glory!
Replying to
I try to find my boundaries is social orders. Understand the limits and consequences of breaching those limits and then stretch them out as far I can, much like seeing how far you can drip a loogie and slurp it back up before it snaps off. I digress.
the above pictures are too explicit for Google. They've been wiped from my account, along with the prompts that created 12 such pages. Conspiracy? Censorship? Good Taste? Slipped finger? We may never know.
Anyway, be happy - it really sucked.
Replying to
@TransrationalScience@dobbs.town the astronauts giving each other a glance 
Prolog
Replying to
@NatalyaD@disabled.social @quinn@social.circl.lu In the USA we hate government so much we'd rather create punitive contracts between our neighbors than incorporate as a city to enforce the same measures. This is because if it becomes a criminal matter, you will be shot on sight, whereas civil matters will merely bankrupt you.
Replying to
@mstiemisty@dobbs.town They will. This is a globally coordinated effort by the con. Sure, on the surface it may be a few social media giants pushing liability back to the user, but REALLY it's about knowing exactly who is doing what everywhere cuz those companies are just fronts for the CON. I'll go back to xeroxed zines before I give my ID to use the internet.