My 9 year old got mad at me and called me old. Now every time I walk past him he hums the theme from Jurassic Park.
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Queen Of Coffee
@QueenOfCoffee@beige.party
mastodon 4.6.6Mom. Foodie. Beer drinker. Avid reader. Music lover.
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Joined December 16, 2022
One of my kids just screamed MOM, LOOK AT OUR SWING SET! We have, what I think, is a red tailed hawk just hanging out.
I've plunged the kids' toilet 3 times today. It won't unclog. So, I finally resorted to saying "Tell me what you put in the toilet. No one will get in trouble."
It's a fucking chocolate bunny. And this was the first year I bought the solid bunny and not a hollow one. FML
My kid (15) had to make a fake political ad for a class at school and I'm both proud and fully expecting a call or email from the school tomorrow.
I made pulled chicken nachos bar for dinner... Which sounds fancy until you realize it's nachos with only the chips and cheese, and the pulled chicken, jalapeños, sour cream, salsa, peppers & onions, cilantro, lime, and beans are all in seperate bowls to accommodate my picky kids.
Made a one pot dish into a 50 bowl dish. 😒
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@kimlockhartga no one tells you about this kind of shit when you're family planning. They're all KIDS ARE A BLESSING.
Fucking liars
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@RickiTarr Dangerously Graceful
And yes, I did trip today in the parking lot at Total Wine and fall on my face. I hadn't even bought my alcohol yet.
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@RickiTarr@beige.party when my parents were still together my mom cooked what my dad expected... A meat, a starch, a veggie. The meat was always oven roasted and dry as a bone. The starch was either some prepackaged thing like rice a roni or those Knorr pasta sides with the powder. Sometimes it was a baked potato in the microwave. The veggie was always steamed or boiled, and she always put a pat of butter after draining it.
My dad only cooked breakfast foods or grilled meat. He was good at both.
Now, my mom is a great cook, but that didn't happen until all the kids were moved out of the house. In her defense, I think cooking for 5 was pretty thankless (can vouch). She also was ALWAYS on a diet so she didn't care about food. I think the diet was to spite my dad who was kinda mean and also very overweight. 🤣
Random thought... Finishing spray is just hair spray for your face
I feel very Pennsylvania Dutch today. Made some ham pot pie for lunch.
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@kimlockhartga probably. I've recently had an eye opening about this. My parents are about 70, but both my grannies are in their 90s. My dad's mom had two strokes in January and my dad is useless. My aunt had to come up from South Carolina for 2 months. Right before she left we got granny into an assisted living place. It's nice. She has her own apartment, but I'm driving down there 4-5 times a week. It was overwhelming to her, so I had to furnish it very gradually. Only a piece or two per week. She didn't want any furniture from her house.
Then I found out last Friday she hasn't been able to trim her toenails since the stroke, but wasn't telling us. She has to wear shoes for stability so I had no idea. She wouldn't let me trim them when I offered. So, took her for her first ever pedicure today. Had to bring my sister and call it a "girls outing."
Apparently, 1 person is a kidnapping, but 2 are an intervention.
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@beadsland nah. First time. He said he didn't feel like walking downstairs and was worried the cat would eat it from the bathroom trash.
BTW, this is not a little kid. This is my 13 year old.
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@rockmastermike I was laughing an hour ago when I found out. Now after trying every toilet safe trick listed on the internet for getting fat out of pipes for over an hour it's not that funny any more.
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@the_etrain@beige.party thanks... The ham I cooked on Easter was too big. I sliced half into lunch meat on my slicer and froze it, but since Sunday we've had hot ham and cheese sliders, ham fried rice, and now the ham pot pie. I've still got about a pound left in addition to what's in the freezer. Gonna have to make chicken for dinner or accept complaints. 😂
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@kimlockhartga @RedRobyn can vouch. My kids that are barely 2 years apart can't stand each other but middle and youngest are 4 years apart and besties
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@collinsworth@hachyderm.io That's pretty good. The last time my kids played with blocks they made an anatomically correct Abraham Lincoln eating cheese.
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@Axomamma lol. You're good. I do think up creative ways to punish them, tho. Ultimately, their punishment should be a reward for me. I kept calm. I did not lose my shit. I deserve a clean closet. 🤣
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@kimlockhartga lol. Sounds like mine. And 13 refused to take his ADHD meds today and he is wearing me out
My 12 year old on the deck and screaming at my littler boys and 3 of their friends who are over
"FIGHT FOR MY AMUSEMENT, PEASANTS!"
I have no idea why he's like this.
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@aetus it looked a bit off to me too. It's nest appears to be in a tree in the woods behind my house. (it's a freaking huge nest that I can't imagine a smaller bird making) and it's never landed on our swingset before. It sat there in the rain for about two hours before it finally left. That seems weird it would just sit exposed in the rain when it's nest was in a leafy tree only 100 feet away
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@finn@surfin.dog I'd get botox if I wanted my face to not move. Then I'd have the benefit if less wrinkles too
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@ohmu nah. You're OK. I get a little mama bear about this kid. He's had a rough time, but he does act like a bone head on the regular.
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@Axomamma thought crossed my mind, but no. I'm not gentle parenting (not in perimenopause anyway 🤣), but I frequently remind myself that an ass whooping never stopped me from doing things, it only made me resent my dad.
I promised no punishments when I made them tell me. But, next time 13 needs punished he will get my most vile, hated punishment... Cleaning closets and taking things we no longer use/wear to goodwill. My kids are feral. Their closets reflect that. It's a good couple hour punishment, and I'm certainly not going to clean their closets.
@ItsThatDeafGuy@beige.party don't tempt me
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@beatnikprof I hope not. My 10 year old would be a Robespierre. And we all know what happened to him.
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@FinalOverdrive @princesaballena It's fine. I could tell you missed the joke. I'm not offended.
Also, people have been telling me how to parent since before my kids were born. I rarely take offense. I'd describe my personal parenting style as benign negligence. As long as no kid is bleeding too much, destroying stuff, or being completely morally reprehensible I just ignore them. I've got too many kids to sweat the small stuff.
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@FinalOverdrive it's fine. He's just joking. I prefer to let him find out what happens when he tries that joke with the wrong person. No teacher like experience.
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@FinalOverdrive @Harryshelper You're overthinking it again, friend. She's just saying kids are brats that don't know the limits of what's appropriate. Teenagers too. All we can do as parents is remind them when they are being turdly, because eventually they will anger the wrong person and have to live with whatever those consequences are.
My 10 year old found that out the hard way. He was mouthing off to some bigger kid at the bus stop and got beat up. That kid always has to find out everything the hard way.
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@ohmu well, In this case it wasn't that we didn't tell them to never do that. It's that I've got a kid with pretty bad ADHD who's both creative and impulsive AF. There is no delay between thought and action.
I've had to hide all our scissors or he cuts stuff... Like his own hair. He's done that 3 times and then cried.
This is the same kid who eats sand every time I take him to the beach... Like maybe it will taste good this year or something.
It's very difficult to manage him while trying to give him the freedom to make mistakes in hopes he'll learn from his actions and acquire some life skills.
Plus, he's 13.