James Boag

Before you close a web page make sure you scroll up to the top, so it’s in the right position for the next person

My half brother and I aren't allowed to play with chainsaws anymore.

If I'm reading their lips correctly...My
neighbors are arguing about some creepy
guy next door

A ladder turned up-side down can be used for climbing down off things.

The Institute of Incomplete Studies have announced that 7 out of 10 people

I found $20 in the parking lot and I thought to myself, what would Jesus do?
So I turned it into wine.

Covering bread with Factor 50 suncream before popping it into the toaster will prevent your toast from burning.

Of course my car isn’t voice activated.
It goes without saying.

Fitting a woolly elephant into a hearse would be a mammoth undertaking.

I'm throwing a whitesnake theme party but no-one RSVP'd, so here I go again on my own....

DONOR Cards are a rip off!!! You can’t get a discount on a kebab anywhere with one.

I've just bought a copy of Kleptomaniacs Weekly.
Well, I say bought...

Cannot believe my joke about Apple Mac was deleted.
Seems it’s not PC

Any recommendations on music to listen to while fishing
Preferably something catchy..

I failed my Wizards exam because of my bad spelling.

@cpm@spore.social Streetweed is much cheaper than "Medical" Cannabis.
and every bit as effective,
I use a Storez and Bickel vaporiser for mine, when the chronic pain gets too much.

BREAKING NEWS! A man has created reverse origami.
More on this story as it unfolds.

A SLUG makes for an effective bouncer at a worm disco.

Strike a chord with everyone you meet by always carrying a guitar with you.

@MadeyeTheCarnaptious@mastodon.scot Aberdeen is the oil capital of Europe, but nearly 100 miles to the nearest motorway !

If you're not in the central belt you're no getting £$%$