Open post Eve, Go Listen to Dead Channel Sky @EveOfTheFuture@lgbt.io · 18mo ago Replying to @EveHasWords@toot.cat on toot.cat @EveHasWords@toot.cat @ouropinions@wandering.shop Oh damn yeah it's a killer album
Open post Eve, Go Listen to Dead Channel Sky @EveOfTheFuture@lgbt.io · 31mo ago Replying to @EveOfTheFuture@lgbt.io @arielwip @oddtail I did something like this early on, I should start again @arielwip @oddtail Actually, the early tracking for me was just "gender/10", with comments, 4 times a day, so it wasn't super useful. Is it ok if I get the text of yours for more ideas of what to look at? Gonna try planning this out tomorrow
Open post Eve, Go Listen to Dead Channel Sky @EveOfTheFuture@lgbt.io · 33mo ago Replying to @oddtail@meow.social <p>I don't see this talked about like, ever.</p><p>So I'll talk about it.</p><p>If you realised you're trans but find yourself sometimes not really hating your assigned gender and being like "meh" to it?</p><p>1) That doesn't mean you've been cis all along;<br />2) It doesn't mean you just imagined your dysphoria;<br />3) You're not "pretending" anything or lying to anyone, least of all yourself.</p><p>It just means you're more tired than dysphoric. Your brain can't keep negative feelings at full steam all the time, which is good. It's not supposed to.</p><p>Do not measure your transness by how much you CURRENTLY need to transition. Dysphoria comes and goes. So does euphoria, for that matter.</p><p>I went through several cycles of "I am trans. Wait... I don't feel strongly about this anymore. Was that real? No, wait, ARGH, I'm trans. Wait..." and so on, before I started transitioning. Fooled me every single time.</p><p>I still experience this. I'm experiencing this today. I am currently wondering why this whole transition thing is such a big deal to me.</p><p>But guess what. I know I'm trans, I've been through this before. Doubts that something is true are not the same as knowing it is not.</p><p>You will have doubts whether you're trans years after you transition to your general satisfaction. You will. It just happens. You will still be almost certainly happy that you transitioned. That's what being trans means.</p><p>If you don't MIND your assigned gender at the moment, but still your actual gender sounds neat, you're still trans.</p><p>You're allowed to pause things and recalibrate, or focus on something else. Your transition should go at your pace.</p><p>But you haven't suddenly become cis. I promise you that you haven't. You still prefer to function as your real gender, don't you?</p><p>I've done this enough times that I need to say it. It's OK. It ebbs and flows. As long as you're not actually *satisfied* with your assigned gender, as long as you have ANY overall need to transition, you're not cis. You may be genderfluid or genderflux or bigender or agender or genderqueer or non-binary. Knock yourself out exploring those (I sure did). There's no penalty for concluding with "nah".</p><p>You may also be very Very, Very Tired.</p><p>But none of those things mean "cis". I'm begging you, believe me.</p><p>EDIT: one good way to figure this out is - OK, so you don't jump for joy at the thought of transitioning. Now imagine yourself in your actual gender. Imagine it's all done and dealt with. Is your imagined self repulsive, do you want to *avoid* this? Does the idea of HAVING transitioned fill you with discomfort?</p><p>If not, then you're not cis. Cis people are *uncomfortable* with the idea of transitioning because they inhabit their AGAB. That's their entire deal.</p><p>EDIT 2: also, this is the MOST unintuitive thing ever - I firmly believe feeling "meh" about transition can paradoxically be a symptom of dysphoria.</p><p>I don't think it's an accident that I currently feel this way after some rough days, and while having to deal with several days' worth of facial hair. One way dysphoria manifests is that your emotions shut down for maintenance. It's good. But it doesn't mean they were never there in the first place.</p> @oddtail Thank you for this I was feeling very unconnected from everything, not just transness, and I think I needed to hear this
Open post Eve, Go Listen to Dead Channel Sky @EveOfTheFuture@lgbt.io · 23mo ago Replying to @coreyspowell@mastodon.social <p>Taking a break from awful things:</p><p>Scientists taught rats to drive cars. The rats quickly learned to rev the engine and take longer routes just for fun. </p><p>Bonus: Watch the researcher do a little happy leap when the rat gets into the car.</p><p><a href="https://theconversation.com/im-a-neuroscientist-who-taught-rats-to-drive-their-joy-suggests-how-anticipating-fun-can-enrich-human-life-239029" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">theconversation.com/im-a-neuro</span><span class="invisible">scientist-who-taught-rats-to-drive-their-joy-suggests-how-anticipating-fun-can-enrich-human-life-239029</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/science" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>science</span></a> <a href="https://mastodon.social/tags/tech" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>tech</span></a></p> @coreyspowell Ideally they'd have got the rats to take public transit or live in a scurryable neighbourhood
Open post Eve, Go Listen to Dead Channel Sky @EveOfTheFuture@lgbt.io · 20mo ago Replying to @quinnanya@mstdn.social <p>We're working on an update to the DIY <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/webarchiving" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>webarchiving</span></a> <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/zine" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>zine</span></a> and are looking for recommendations for paid, secure, non-Google <a href="https://mstdn.social/tags/Email" class="mention hashtag" rel="tag">#<span>Email</span></a> Any suggestions? ProtonMail doesn't seem like a good option given the recent behavior of their CEO. (<a href="https://zinebakery.com/homemade-zines/bakeshop-2-diywebarchiving" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener" translate="no"><span class="invisible">https://</span><span class="ellipsis">zinebakery.com/homemade-zines/</span><span class="invisible">bakeshop-2-diywebarchiving</span></a>)</p> @quinnanya Tutanota? I've not heard anything bad about them yet
Open post Eve, Go Listen to Dead Channel Sky @EveOfTheFuture@lgbt.io · 31mo ago Replying to @arielwip@lgbtqia.space @EveOfTheFuture @oddtail okay, was going to try to attach as a doc, but that didn't work, so just pasting here... Generally: • Feeling functional • Hyperfixating on distractions • Hyperfixating on symbolics • Hyperfixating on identity or expression • Feeling insecure • Unsafe • Overwhelm • Burnout • Meltdown • Tired • Wreckless • Null Today, did you feel... • Acceptance? • Gender euphoria? • Gender dysphoria? • Incongruence? • Body dysphoria? • Null? Did you... • Take photos? • Like photos? • Dislike photos? • Try an outfit? • Try a look? • Give up? Did you feel... (Grid cols) • Incongruence? • Congruence? (Grid rows) • Pronoun • Name • Named role • Performed role • Socially perceived role Gender • Feeling • Rejecting • Fluid/flux through the day • Null Gender Orientations (grid cols) • A/null • Masc • Fem • Both/enby • Between/torn • Fluxing/fluid today (Grid rows) • Feeling • Wanting to express • Actually expressing Attraction? (Grid cols) • Masc • Fem • Enby (Grid rows) • Aesthetic • Romantic • Sexual Quick-Fire Round (grid cols) • Yes • Maybe • No (grid rows) • Craving visibility? • Push the button • Craving more social transition? • Would HRT • Would surgery Any additional notes @arielwip @oddtail Thanks! Do you do once a day, or morning and night, or what? And what do you do with the analytics?
Open post Eve, Go Listen to Dead Channel Sky @EveOfTheFuture@lgbt.io · 35mo ago Replying to @chrisisgr8@tech.lgbt tech people need to find more ways to get money than from a bunch of coked up fascists who think they're going to live forever on mars. could you imagine how much cool shit we could be working on @chrisisgr8 HCombinator (we pull heists and funnel the money into mutual aid and tech development to meet people's needs)