Mardigroan
My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores.
Passing by billboards on the highway and wondering in which law school course do personal injury lawyers study puns.
Electrolytes sounds like something a Spider-Man villain hurls at a friendly neighborhood hero or an alternative to candles for brightening the room.
If only the mother of the bride hadn't invited me to get a shot with her. That was when it all went wrong.
One of my mutuals seems to be contractually obligated to comment on every post of another of my mutuals.
There are ads on TV that play so often you have unknowingly memorized them.
My hair, when I woke up, looked like all the passengers jumping off a sinking ship.
Ancient curse, may you start dreading Monday not on Sunday night but on Saturday morning.
Ancient curse: May you have a one on one meeting with your supervisor once every two weeks.
Spoiler alert
Wordle spoiler
I had the last three letters but didn't solve until the 5th try. The board looked like a Billy Joel lyric.
Sometimes I keep the already juiced up phone on the charging cord just to keep track of it.
If a bloviating, traitorous cretin's signature appears on a paper dollar bill why couldn't you cross it out using a Sharpie permanent marker?
This morning I woke to my hair resembling the uppercase letter U.
I am against political violence.
I am against unjust suppression of speech.
I support Jimmy Kimmel.
If I post, like, or repost a joke it's not meant to be taken seriously.
Also, I just had noodles.
This shot-making Pritchard seems like a jerk. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that he's a Trump voter.
Do they play Dave Brubeck Quartet's Take Five at the Mos Eisley Cantina?
You say Joel, I say Embid.
The big man is just what we need.
The dentist wants me to floss more.
The dermatologist wants me to use sunscreen daily.
The doctor wants me to exercise more.
You're not the only one that I am disappointing.
Beyond brand plant based burgers and summer sausages don't include soy. It's a better product but it seems Impossible for them to gain market share against their main rival.
Insane Clown Posse is an unusual name for a band and a hauntingly accurate description of senior Trump administration officials and GOP leadership.
Sixers fans dislike the Celtics the way Jerry West did.
An expert on the radio said it was important to take breaks throughout the day from screen time. With the limited reactions I get for what I post you might think it would be easier for me not to spend so much time here.