chester ☆

this dynamic i had was basically everything i wanted. living with my best friend and feeling loved and valued and prioritized. and i told her yknow, i am scared that one day you are going to choose someone over me and tell me we can't do this anymore. and she said, youre the most important person in my life, i want you here. cut to not even a year and a half later, and she is choosing someone else and im not a priority for her anymore. and its not her fault, but it still hurts so bad to have my fear come true after everything. after everything i gave up. i quit my job, i got rid of all my stuff, i moved here. and now i'm going to be alone and when we talk about it, she acts like. like i shouldn't be upset. like i should've known what i was signing up. or she like, sees me as a little brother who won't stop following her. it just hurts. it hurts. so we just don't talk about it and we wake up everyday like it never happened. like i was always just a temporary roommate. like she never said she saw herself marrying me. honestly, its just so fucking stupid.