mastodon 4.7.3Wordsmith, linguist, poker of technology. I study Irish English, Ulster Scots and dialectometry. Often on tiktok talking about minority languages and dispelling the myths of armchair linguists.
Collateral damage is what happens when murder puts on a necktie in order to pass as necessity.
This definition is part of a series called The Comic's Wordbook that takes commonly used phrases and defines them according to the truth they are meant to conceal.
I read the Reform UK Manifesto so you don't have to. To protect you from its frankly disgusting prose, I rewrote it in the style of a nonsense poem, specifically the Jabberwocky by Lewis Carroll.
Porn gives people unrealistic standards. Not bodies. Logistics. You expect me to believe people have sex without relocating a cat first?
A ceasefire is basically a war timeout, except instead of for the soldiers it should be for the leaders who clearly missed that lesson in kindergarten. #ceasefire #comedy #writer
Dr. Brian Christine had a show called “Erection Connection” and a podcast called “Common Sense.” That’s the modern American dream: monetize the body, radicalize the customer, accept a federal appointment.
A penile implant is the perfect metaphor for this government: concealed machinery that lets old men feel powerful while doing nothing for the health of the system.
Sometimes people let me take photos of things. I don't know what I am doing, but they seem happy.
Also you should come to Comedy at One Canon on Sunday Afternoon at 4PM each week in Canonmills.
You will laugh, you may cry and you will be home before the takeaway closes.
My partner has been a trooper in coming to many comedy gigs in the past year. As a Soviet born speaker of English, his comedy reviews are often scathingly genius. So I am turning them into an irregular series called Comrade Be Serious. This was his response after a particularly tense gig in London. #comradebeserious #comedian #standupcomedy
You should go see live comedy. Sometimes there are superstars there.
Sundays at 4PM at One Canon Public Hoose especially.
But then I look a bit out of place here in rainy grey Scotland, so to fit in I also carry a seagull.
How do I report a councillor for racist and islamophobic posts?
Does anybody know a friendly journalist?
Apolitical Eurovision is like an emotionally stable group chat. It's a beautiful idea, but the admin has favorites, the rules have exceptions, and everyone joined with unresolved history.
GO VOTE UK PALS!!
Polls close at 10PM
If you are in the queue at 10PM you will get to vote no matter how long the queue is.