How loud you're being in a library is measured by the Dewey Decibel System
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Alexander
@Liffonmelsmork@beige.party
mastodon 4.6.6Nephew of a Blue Peter badge winner
682 Followers
416 Following
27 Posts
Joined November 27, 2024
There are places I remember
All my life
'though mostly dogs
Brown paper packages
dragged from a pond
These are the things of which
I'm not so fond
I bought this today and, using my highly evolved and resourceful simian brain, have taken to using the foily-seal bit from a Pringles tube as a bookmark
The closest I've had to kissing passionately in the rain is trying to tear open a Wagon Wheel with my teeth in the shower
My "microwave safe" plate just exploded in the microwave, I'll never trust a dish again
Love me like a neighbour loves power tools
Oh when the snakes
come wrigglin' in
Oh when the snakes come wrigglin' in
I wanna be
up a ladder
When the snakes come wrigglin' in
"Do you want to turn on Sticky Keys, you wanky weirdo?"
“It’s not a competition,” I say, louder than you
Livin' la vida biscuits
❌🗑️
This photo of your bum will remain in Recently Deleted for 30 days
With little context: I needed a spooky selfie posthaste, I panicked
🎶 If you tolerate chicks
Hen, your children will be eggs 🎶
Lose weight by removing all of your bones and living it up in a bucket
QUIZ SHOW HOST: Who shot JFK?
ME: *drunk, slamming my pint on the buzzer* Haley Joel Osment
We don't have to take our
clothes off
to have a bath time
oh wait
Replying to
Went from Cornwall to London and back again today, just to see the ancient Egyptian exhibits at the British Museum, and well well well, look who's there