𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒶

ME: The Earth is 71% water
SCIENTIST: Yes. True.
ME: And practically all of that water is uncarbonated
SCIENTIST: Okay, sure. Not sure where you're going with this but
ME: So the Earth is flat
SCIENTIST...
ME: ...
SCIENTIST: Listen here you little shit

"Welcome to our gander reveal party!"

"Don't you mean..."

"No."

Geese emerge from everywhere. There are no fireworks. Only geese. There are no balloons. Only chaos. There are no genders. Only honk.

Problems that were overhyped:
- quicksand
- people offering me drugs
- the Bermuda Triangle

Problems that I was underprepared for:
- nightly existential dread
- remembering all 17,392 passwords required to do my job
- arguing with robots about whether or not there is an unexpected item in the bagging area

I present to you the 90s Band Alignment Chart.

Hey, you. Yes you. Stop blaming yourself for all your shortfalls and failures. Learn feng shui and blame the furniture.

This blog post is not about Ron DeSantis, Governor of Florida. It most certainly is not about his fascist tactics, nor does it compare this blatant attack on the free press with similar tactics taken by Hitler in Nazi Germany. It definitely is not about how any infringement upon a free and open press is by default an open attack upon the Bill of Rights outlined in the Constitution of the United States of America. And it certainly is not about how the rights and liberties of all Americans are threatened by Ron DeSantis and his evil, extremist, fascist goons.