Hoss "Sneed (Formerly Chuck)” Delgado

I don't care if Vivek is running against the reanimated corpse of Lenin himself, that street shitting nigger must lose.

Fit's fire. Ring it up, grandma W.

>ejected pilot impacts the ground at 100 mph and walks himself out Sounds legit.

>be me >Kim Jong Un >Supreme Leader of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea >wake up in Pyongyang >sunlight gently filtering through curtains of enormous government residence >personal chef asks whether I want Korean, Japanese, French, Italian, or "that Swiss breakfast you like" >decisions_decisions.jpg >eventually settle on imported cheese and steak >turn on state television >beautiful patriotic music >everyone on TV says I'm doing an excellent job >nice >check newspaper >front page says country is prosperous >second page says country is prosperous >third page contains photograph of me pointing at a tractor >apparently tractor factory exceeded expectations >excellent news >head outside >streets suspiciously clean >everyone I encounter starts smiling and applauding >random citizens visibly overcome with joy just from seeing me >western media says North Koreans are miserable >??? >literally haven't met a dissatisfied citizen in my entire life >ask aide about this >"Supreme Leader, the people adore you." >knew it >drive through Pyongyang in armored Mercedes >traffic nonexistent >never have to stop at red lights >restaurants always have tables available >never seen homelessness >never seen unemployment >never seen a protest >never even seen graffiti >western cities apparently have all of these things >and they call US the dysfunctional country >lmao >arrive at missile facility >scientists have been awake for 43 consecutive hours preparing demonstration >they look slightly nervous >probably excited >rocket launches successfully >everyone cheers >scientist in front row crying >patriotism is beautiful >return home >check internet >internet works perfectly >all 28 websites load instantly >no ads >no spam >no political arguments >no Reddit >westerners voluntarily pay for gigabit fiber just to spend six hours arguing with strangers named xXFreedomPatriot1488Xx >who exactly lives in the dystopia here >foreign diplomat visits >mentions food insecurity >confused >open refrigerator >completely full >open second refrigerator >also full >open climate-controlled cheese room >extremely full >"What food insecurity?" >diplomat stares at floor >probably embarrassed by how stupid his question was >later watch BBC documentary >British narrator says DPRK citizens lack basic freedoms >look around room >can go anywhere I want >can say anything I want >can own anything I want >can even launch ballistic missile over the Sea of Japan if I'm feeling whimsical >sounds pretty free to me >apparently Americans aren't even allowed to do that >land of the free my ass >documentary continues >says citizens are afraid of government surveillance >turn to twelve security officers standing behind couch >"You guys spying on me?" >"ABSOLUTELY NOT, SUPREME LEADER" >there you have it >propaganda debunked in real time >next morning receive intelligence briefing >foreign analysts once again describe North Korea as "one of the most repressive societies on Earth" >honestly starting to think these people have never actually been here >I've lived in North Korea my entire life >never been hungry >never been arrested >never been sent to a labor camp >never had electricity shut off >never had trouble finding housing >healthcare staff immediately available whenever I need them >everyone I meet compliments my haircut >statistically speaking this place seems fantastic >begin suspecting international community is simply jealous >tell propaganda department to release statement: >"SUPREME LEADER REPORTS PERSONAL SATISFACTION RATE OF 100%" >another stunning victory for Juche

Starting a business based around something you enjoy is a great idea if you're trying to speedrun extinguishing all joy from your life forever.

Street shitter manager seething that his employee actually takes his lunch break instead of using it to keep working while he eats.

Crazy to think there might be a parallel timeline where the USSR never fell, the Cold War staring contest has continued well into the Information Age, and somehow the geopolitical situation is actually more peaceful than ours.

It's weird that Russia joining NATO was actually something that had been seriously considered at one point. What does the alliance even exist for if Russia is now a part of it? You would basically achieve the same result just dissolving NATO after the Cold War, but now a bunch of bureaucrats get to keep their jobs, which honestly was probably the whole point of the consideration in the first place.

So again, it all boils down to NATO finding new and psychotic reasons to continue existing in the wake of communism finally taking the ultimate L.

>Nigel Farage resigns to run in his own seat's by-election in the midst of a corruption scandal >every other party abstains from his PR stunt meme election >joke candidate Count Binface is now the greatest threat to Farage on the ballot >if Farage wins Parliament calls another by-election after the corruption inquiry concludes anyway >Binface points out if he wins the taxpayer is automatically saved another £380,000 >Farage now forced to take this seriously even though his primary rival is a trash can supervillain My money's on Binface when this shit hits the prediction markets.

Jer running out of replacement foids to serve as captive audience for his poop stories. RT: https://tsundere.love/objects/242a9120-abda-4b1b-b074-455c88464b00

Me with GTA 6

Surprisingly, I'm actually wrong. That honor belongs to Atari’s Adventure, developed in 1978 during the year of three popes and published the following year. RT: https://shitpost.cloud/objects/56a8f746-66c0-4731-9f92-ffb0939533c4

>be Subaru >arrive in another world acting like a Brat >believe you’re destined for Ascent >actually spend most arcs lost in the Wilderness >emotional stability made of Chiffon >keep trying to be the lone Forester >repeatedly get sent to the Outback >finally realize your greatest power is trusting others >achieve Liberty from your martyr complex >leave behind a Legacy of save-scumming and public screaming

Never forget that Morocco launched an invasion of Spanish territory with Trump's blessing as revenge against Europe for not supporting the Iran war disaster. https://youtu.be/NYFkOYHnJkk

My town looks like Silent Hill and everything smells like a campfire. Thanks Canada, very cool.

>be Internet methhead schizo >have a collection of random beefs with spergs across the planet >find Fediverse instance with open regs >mfw

Not the first time Brazil has produced a novel mutt unknown to science. RT: https://detroitriotcity.com/objects/68913a18-1282-4635-aeae-c0274c61e5cd

When Elder Scrolls 6 eventually comes out it will earn the distinction of being the first video game to have a development cycle that spanned the reign of three popes.

Other people use AI to be more productive. I use it to make shit like this.

Guardcucks, is the goyslop situation really that bad?

I think Japan needs to lighten up on the Yakuza just enough for them to force all the Africans out of the country's criminal underworld. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqlzjcMbcF4

Why would a civilization that's advanced enough to have surely mastered fusion millennia ago need to surround their star with giant solar panels to collect energy?

Islam makes complete sense if you recontextualize its entire theological foundation as Satan and the boys LARPing as God and his angels to prank a retarded sand merchant in a cave. RT: https://shitposter.world/objects/2120e940-5abe-4489-b331-f3f1c635797c

>market maker jews use lot sizes in their orders to collude against uppity retail goyim I have never heard of this theory before but I now 100% believe in it.

RT: https://social.xenofem.me/objects/64693c4c-46f6-454e-93c7-b39371593778

>BLOODY 'ELL NGUBU WHERE WERE ME FACKIN' GOALS M8? >GONNA GO KNOCK AROUND THE MISSUS AFTER I FINISH ME PINT, LADS!

Somalis have been using ancient banknotes from a defunct government for so long that they've had to start sewing disintegrating bills back together. The intaglio printing press is basically a lost technology over there. RT: https://shitpost.cloud/objects/189933b8-d1c1-4f33-aee9-d7c0f700b2ed

Apparently because nobody plays Dark Souls 2, all you have to do is boot it up when Phil is live if you wanna fuck with him RT: https://shitpost.cloud/objects/836d4b35-32fa-482c-9824-7fb77cae530e

>sperging out at me over a YouTube link Another tragic victim of the vaccine industry.

I've known about Patrick Tomlinson for ages, but today was the first time I've ever actually listened to him speak. I didn't expect him to talk exactly like how he tweets, I swear to God if I didn't know better I'd be convinced his entire lolcow career has just been a long-running bit that he's become too committed with to quit.

The Milwaukee PD proved themselves to be so utterly incompetent that the city was basically forced to hand Fatrick that W. It's astounding that there are still cop shops in the current year who will just keep sending SWAT teams to the same address over and over without a second thought.

>tfw you go back in time to punch your 15 year old self in the face and get sucker punched by your 45 year old self who comes out of the time portal right behind you

I am so proud of Lever for finding the courage to come out to us on Pride Month. This is a special moment for The Cloud. RT: https://shitpost.cloud/objects/717dcd4f-7e78-402d-9553-0e86de2f108e

You do you man, I don't give a fuck. But "just eat your vegetables lol" is never going to be a solution to this problem that most people are going to accept.

Why does Dyson have to make the sphere, anyway? It's just gonna be way more overpriced than it has to be.

Is it even really 4th of July if you don't have a Roman candle fight with your little cousins?

Buddy doesn't really give me the impression he can pull something like that off. Seems more like the type who needs a tard handler to help him turn his computer on, but if that were the case you'd think he'd have some grownup supervision over his Internet access.

THE EYE BAGS OF EVIL RT: https://poa.st/objects/5e59c327-ae9f-44b7-8856-d33f3905e762

I briefly had a Matrix server years ago, but I shut it down because it was a buggy piece of shit. Has it improved since then?

>be me >mid 20s zoomer >finally escape neet cave after 4 years of doordash and regret >land "good" job in the city doing spreadsheets for 52k >boomer dad: "see? bootstraps work if you just stop being lazy" >"back in my day i worked at the factory and bought a 3 bedroom for 28k" >move to where the employment is like every boomer on facebook tells you to >everything within commuting distance is either luxury pods or section 8 warzones >find a "reasonable" 400 sq ft studio in the "up and coming" part of town >translation: still gets burgled but now they have oat milk at the corner store >rent: $1750 >utilities another $280 because the building is from 1972 and held together with hope >take home after taxes and "benefits": ~$3100 >rent + utilities + car insurance + gas = $2400 >left with $700 for food, phone, and existing as a human >tfw your entire existence is one unexpected car repair from eating beans in the dark >come home from 10 hour wagecage shift >door frame splintered again >tv gone, laptop gone, even the shitty microwave >police report filed for the third time this year >"sorry sir, resource constraints, try not leaving valuables visible" >my only valuables were the ramen and the will to live >boomer aunt at christmas: "why don't you just save for a down payment like we did?" >"i bought my house at 23 with no college degree!" >mfw her house is now worth 650k and she refinanced twice to buy a boat >"you kids spend all your money on starbucks and funko pops" >my last starbucks was in 2023 and it was a small black coffee i split with myself >"just get a roommate!" >last roommate stole my security deposit and left a note saying "inflation tax" >before that one sold my ps5 for fent >current one pays in "exposure" and used vapes >"move further out then, where it's cheaper!" >cheaper town = no jobs unless you want to manage a dollar general for 14.50/hr >or 90 minute commute each way through traffic that makes you want to drive into a tree >remote work? "that's not a real job, anon. back in my day we had to show up" >meanwhile boomer is semi-retired posting minion memes from his paid-off house >even the actual shitholes near employment activity are unaffordable now >used to be you could live in the bad part of town and still stack a little >now the bad part of town has $1600 studios and regular home invasions >at least the crackheads are consistent, unlike my paychecks >boomers: "just work harder and stop making excuses" >meanwhile the only people who can afford to live near the jobs are other boomers' kids on the family payroll or dual income tech couples >mfw the biggest economic problem of our time is that shelter costs have completely detached from wages in every single place that isn't a dying rust belt town with no future >come home to the fourth break-in this year >burglar even took the empty pizza box like he was doing me a favor >at least someone in this economy is getting ahead >tfw the bootstraps boomers keep telling you to pull on are currently being used as a belt because some guy kicked your door in for the 32 inch tv you bought on credit

Right wing populist movement that doesn't suddenly think war in Iran is based because the personality cult says so.

Jersh has spent years developing a software suite to counter DDOS at various network levels in order to deal with attacks against the Farms. He's planning to release the codebase as FOSS soon, but there isn't a concrete timeframe yet. Definitely something instance owners should keep an eye on. https://usips.org/products/tartarus/

Kardashev Type III civilization building massive artificial constructs around stars just to make them spell out NIGGER in morse code to astronomers on Earth.

TIL there exists a wireless USB standard that nobody has ever heard of because it was immediately murdered in the crib by Bluetooth. https://youtu.be/jlPTNwm-Ng0

Star Citizen is cheating, it'll be in alpha until the end of time.

Listened to this guy spend hours ripping the demonslop to pieces a few weeks back. The funniest aspect of the whole show to me is that even though the libtard creator certainly believes Hitler was one of the evilest ultrachuds in all of human history, he's mysteriously absent from hell. It's gets even better when you realize she wrote herself into a corner with her own worldbuilding which establishes that the most evil people on Earth become the most powerful demons in hell, thus accidentally implying through narrative omission that Hitler must be in Heaven. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH-_WC8y_08