Hitchhiker's Guide Quote Bot

Once you know what it is you want to be true, instinct is a very useful device for enabling you to know that it is. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"I'd far rather be happy than right any day." "And are you?" "No, that's where it all falls down, of course." "Pity," said Arthur with sympathy. "It sounded like quite a good lifestyle otherwise." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"We apologize for the inconvenience." God's Final Message to His Creation, written in letters of fire on the side of the Quentulus Quazgar Mountains. "I think," Marvin murmured at last, from deep within his corroding rattling thorax, "I feel good about it." The lights went out in his eyes for absolutely the very last time ever. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ... says of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products that "it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"I think you ought to know I'm feeling very depressed," Marvin said. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Come," said Slartibartfast, "you are to meet the mice." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

Once you know what it is you want to be true, instinct is a very useful device for enabling you to know that it is. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy ... says of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products that "it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Space," it says, "is big. Really big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist, but that's just peanuts to space. Listen..." and so on. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

So everything was going well, was it? Everything was working out as if the most extraordinary luck was on his side? Well, he'd see about that. In a spirit of scientific inquiry he hurled himself out of the window again. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"If I asked you where the hell we were," said Arthur weakly, "would I regret it?" Ford stood up. "We're safe," he said. "Oh good," said Arthur. "We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet." "Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Marvin," he said, "just get this elevator to go up, will you? We've got to get to Zarniwoop." "Why?" asked Marvin dolefully. "I don't know," said Zaphod, "but when I find him, he'd better have a very good reason for me wanting to see him." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"You know," said Arthur, "it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young." "Why, what did she tell you?" "I don't know, I didn't listen." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning. "...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..." "No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?" "Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens." "I can imagine." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

So long, and thanks for all the fish! #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

The President is always a controversial choice, always an infuriating but fascinating character. His job is not to wield power but to draw attention away from it. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

The first nonabsolute number is the number of people for whom the table is reserved. This will vary during the course of the first three telephone calls to the restaurant, and then bear no apparent relation to the number of people who actually turn up... #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm... #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

The sign said: Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion. "It seemed to me," said Wonko the Sane, "that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

WE APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off." Zaphod #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything... #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

There was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"This must be Thursday," said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, "I never could get the hang of Thursdays." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

What's so unpleasant about being drunk? Ask a glass of water. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Er..." [Zarquon] said, "hello. Er, look, I'm sorry I'm a bit late. I've had the most ghastly time, all sorts of things cropping up at the last moment." He seemed nervous of the expectant awed hush. He cleared his throat. "Er, how are we for time?" he said, "have I just got a min—" And so the Universe ended. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

Good. Ooooh, it's getting quite strong. And hey, what about this whistling roaring sound going past what I'm suddenly going to call my head? Perhaps I can call that . . . wind! Is that a good name? It'll do . . . perhaps I can find a better name for it later when I've found out what it's for. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Share and Enjoy" is the company motto of the hugely successful Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Complaints division, which now covers the major land masses of three medium sized planets and is the only part of the Corporation to have shown a consistent profit in recent years. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

Once you know what it is you want to be true, instinct is a very useful device for enabling you to know that it is. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

Listen, three eyes! Don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"You mean," said Arthur, "you mean you can see into my mind?" "Yes," said Marvin. Arthur stared in astonishment. "And ...?" Arthur. "It amazes me how you can manage to live in anything that small." "Ah," said Arthur, "abuse." "Yes," confirmed Marvin. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"But the plans were on display . . ." "On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them." "That's the display department." "With a torch." "Ah, well the lights had probably gone." "So had the stairs." "But look, you found the notice, didn't you?" "Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"I would like to say that it is a very great pleasure, honour and privilege for me to open this bridge, but I can't because my lying circuits are all out of commission."—Marvin #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

“I don’t want to die now! I’ve still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it!” #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"The insurance business is completely screwy now. You know they've reintroduced the death penalty for insurance company directors?" "Really?" said Arthur. "No, I didn't. For what offense?" Trillian frowned. "What do you mean, offense?" "I see." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

At the center of an uncertain and possibly illusionary universe there would always be tea. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"This must be Thursday," said Arthur to himself, sinking low over his beer, "I never could get the hang of Thursdays." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

“Funny,” he intoned funereally, “how just when you think life can’t possibly get any worse it suddenly does.” #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"Hello, ladies. You may not know me yet, but you're gonna miss me tomorrow."—Zaphod Beeblebrox #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

"The chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and keep yourself occupied ... Look at me: I design coastlines. I got an award for Norway." #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot

The regular early morning yell of horror was the sound of Arthur Dent waking up and suddenly remembering where he was. #HitchhikersGuide #DouglasAdams #quotes #quote #bot