XKCD Bot

Brace yourself--the chirp gets pretty weird.
https://xkcd.com/3261/

If you're thinking 'Wait, a giant crystal cave in Mexico? What's that?' then I'm SO excited for the image search you're about to do.
https://xkcd.com/3266/

Wait, what do you mean, 'dark matter'? It's not dark, it interacts with high-energy gamma rays ... right? Oh jeez, did I forget to make it interact?
https://xkcd.com/3263/

While weather control is typically thought of as a superpower, the unconscious ability of astronomers and astrophotographers to summon clouds is more properly classified as a curse.
https://xkcd.com/3253/

Anyone who is caught counting 'three ... two ... one ... zero ... GO!' will be punished with a lifetime of eating only ISO standard food samples.
https://xkcd.com/3232/

The plural of anecdote may not be data, but the singular of data is anecdote.
https://xkcd.com/3262/

Commentators agree that this will probably be the last World Cup in which Messi faces serious competition.
https://xkcd.com/3260/

Please, we need your help. Our research suggests you're the last living descendant of the person who knew how to format this config file.
https://xkcd.com/3245/

'If you keep trying to spray your collaborators with the beam when they're not looking, I'm turning off the ion source and NO one will get to play with the beam!' --Physics's mom
https://xkcd.com/3257/

It's great for exfoliating your skin, bones, houses, cities, landscape, etc.
https://xkcd.com/3258/

Usain Bolt holds the world record in the 100 meter speedrun.
https://xkcd.com/3246/

"How does the spring not run out almost immediately?" "We pull it back REALLY far."
https://xkcd.com/3244/

The research was overseen by the Institutional Review Board, which is what I named my surfboard.
https://xkcd.com/3255/

No other experiment has a lower false negative rate.
https://xkcd.com/3254/

We definitely put the pool in a mine for shielding. It was absolutely not to hide it from the funding people.
https://xkcd.com/3249/

I can't believe Candles of Vienna caved to commercial pressure and added the Goku expansion.
https://xkcd.com/3235/

This xkcd.com update introduces a variety of new reading modes which can be activated through the menu below the comic.
https://xkcd.com/3227/

It's not as big a loss as it looks, because now I have have leftover supplies, which will help me talk myself into doing this all over again with a new project!
https://xkcd.com/3233/

They rounded down to 182.8 instead of rounding up to 182.9 because 182.9 might make the statement incorrect.
https://xkcd.com/3248/

Every place has a local cryptid; more places need a local Pictish Beast, a creature in historical art that's drawn so weirdly that no one can tell what animal it's supposed to be.
https://xkcd.com/3250/

Gen-Z got a chunk of the Carboniferous, and now all their memes are about how pathetic and small today's dragonflies are.
https://xkcd.com/3256/

It's possible to do sea navigation without a compass, but you'll have to get some spoilers from the Polynesians.
https://xkcd.com/3251/

It has been −2,147,483,648 days since our last integer overflow.
https://xkcd.com/3228/

"While I try to do my part to destroy the environment, I try not to focus too much on individual responsibility. By pushing for broad policy changes, we can collectively do far more damage to the biosphere than any of us could on our own."
https://xkcd.com/3226/

Remember, your answers to the physics census are confidential; we will not be issuing Pauli exclusion principle citations.
https://xkcd.com/3247/

In order to carry the necessary crafting supplies, they built the ships at 12:1 scale.
https://xkcd.com/3259/

SUGGESTIONS FOR FUTURE RESEARCH: No further research is needed as it is frankly none of our business.
https://xkcd.com/3252/

'Beyond that lies a vale of fire through which my vision cannot penetrate' is the kind of fun thing geologists, heliophysicists, and early universe cosmologists have a lot of opportunities to say.
https://xkcd.com/3243/

It started as a mistake that everyone was afraid to admit to, and then it stuck because removing it 'looks silly.'.
https://xkcd.com/3241/

Imagine you could ride alongside a sound wave. It would probably be pretty cool, right? We're putting in a departmental budget request to buy a really fast plane so we can check it out.
https://xkcd.com/3238/

Scientists occasionally invent alternative periodic table layouts, which is usually a sign that they don't have enough enrichment in their enclosures.
https://xkcd.com/3242/

"I know it seems impossible, but the trick is that I sailed in here when I was very young."
https://xkcd.com/3240/

Before resurfacing, they promise to inspect the ice for any evidence of hockey-playing life.
https://xkcd.com/3234/

Borat came out twenty years ago this year--closer to the breakup of the Soviet Union than to today--but it honestly feels like it's been even longer, somehow.
https://xkcd.com/3237/

Thanks to differences in logging regulations, the messages actually turned out to be visible from the air.
https://xkcd.com/3236/

Maybe you should wear one too? I guess I'm taller than you, so as long as I have one we're fine.
https://xkcd.com/3231/

It's hard to decide which simple machine system to invest in. DeWalt makes a great lever and inclined plane, but I hear Milwaukee's wheel-and-axles are really good.
https://xkcd.com/3239/

I think I accidentally installed an Overton window in my bedroom. A few months ago, the sun wasn't in my face in the morning, but now it is.
https://xkcd.com/3230/

Communication is one of the most popular ways to transmit information, ahead of rivals such as
https://xkcd.com/3229/