William Fry 🏳️‍🌈🔵🐸

Living in #Seattle requires faith.

You must believe that the sun still exists, even though you won't see it for 6 months... 🙄

Never look at a gay man's Photos app on their phone!

Never! 🫨

I do not like lobster.

Despite all the times my friends have said, "No... no! You need to try this!"... 🙄

The river needs me to go walk beside it... 💕

... and if you're being formal, you can call it the "William of Rights"... 🤔

I have a great chili recipe that requires a lot of time and effort.

And then I'm annoyed that I also have a considerably simpler recipe that is still pretty good! 😂

I'm not sure the complicated one is necessarily worth all the extra work!

Fun Fact: Once you get a grease-stain on a tshirt, you can wear it for many days in a row, at home.

I don't make the rules. 🙄

I shouldn't be allowed to eat things I can't spell correctly... 🙄

My sister believes I'm going to hell for being gay.

Pfffft! She doesn't know the thousand other reasons!!! 😋

Sure, sex is good... but you should taste the scrambled eggs I just made! 😋

I'm going to take a moment to be proud of myself...

... even though that seems to be a deeply unpopular opinion, at the moment... 💕

Age verification?

Backing up my source code meant printing it on perforated paper... 🙄

For Halloween, I'm just going to paste a "Play Button" on my nose and go as a YouTube video... 🙄

There's a road sign announcing that there is going to be construction for the next 3 days on a street that doesn't exist.

There is no 180th Street in my neighborhood... 🙄

I asked AI and... 🙄

There was a short story I heard years ago. I asked Copilot the name of the book and author where the story appeared.

I just finished the book.

The wrong book. 😭

I have a bad habit of never quite finishing books that I start.

I'm 75% of the way through two and I'm committed to reading every last word! 😋

(* scribbles reminder *)

Halloween Costume: Catering Cart... 🙄

He doesn't have a pet.

Why would you vote for someone like that!?!? 🤔

So, apparently, a mommy deer just had fawns in our yard! I'd be shocked if they are more than a couple days old!!! 😲

My partner was about to mow, but then we noticed a fawn asleep in the grass, so mowing is forbidden!

We are the luckiest people in the world! Love you, nature!!!

Can I slap the person who decided "hypo" and "hyper" should mean two opposite things!?!? 😡

I should start an OnlyFans and then propose to the first guy who subscribes... 🤔

What do you mean I'm not a Historian?

Have you even read my posts!?!? 😋

The only reason I'm bothering to try to get into Heaven is so I don't have to spend eternity with him... 🙄

Okay, I'd like to hear from the "most compassionate" person in the room, for a change... 🙄

We live in strange times!

I commented on some lovely photos of wildflowers and someone started ranting, "That's probably just AI. AI sucks." 😂

So... ummm... wildflowers are a thing. They do actually exist and they are lovely!

Okay, we all agree that mistakes were made with breakfast.

I just think it's unfair to automatically assume it's the cook's fault, that's all I'm saying.

(Said the cook.) 🙄

I'm the laziest serial killer ever.

It just seems like so much work... 🙄

Oh, cool... so the National Debt was the plan...?

Right on. Sounds responsible... 🤔

Someone just used the phrase "Moral Luck" and that's an amazing way of thinking about things.

Some of us just get "lucky" aren't put in complex moral situations. We should have compassion for those who do! 💕

I couldn't help but notice that my new Apple Watch has been sitting in Kentucky for the last 6 days.

It would be nice if someone decided to put it on a plane heading toward Seattle... 🙄

Me: Utah Phillips claimed to be a Unitarian minister.

My Unitarian minister: He's not listed in the directory.

Me: What could possibly be more Unitarian? 🙄

Who has the worst job... Susie Wiles or Sheeran's PR manager?

It's a tough call these days. 🙄

I feel like he's going to do something shockingly stupid tomorrow.

Even though it's really expensive, it's probably best if he just spent more time golfing. 🙄

It's been a while since I travelled internationally. I'm being asked if I want to schedule an appointment for Airport Security.

Huh!?!? 🤔

Sure, lines suck, but this sounds equally bad.

Come on... one more growth spurt... 🙄

Our soldier are gonna have so much acne... 🙄

... meanwhile, I've been sleeping my way to the bottom... 🙄

Friendly reminder, there is an app called "DeFlock.me" that allows you to see the locations of Flock cameras (and similar devices) in your area... 😋

My cat is up in the top of her kitty tree, that she hasn't used in at least a year...

Great, I guess! Hmmmm. 🐱

I was tragically born with a complete lack of self-control...

Therefore, I'm already staring at the calendar, counting the days until I order an iPhone 18 Pro... 😂

Can someone please explain how the greatest military in the world can't get food onto a boat? 😡

Cleaning out the refrigerator is no time to ask questions!!! 😲

My sister believes I'm going to hell for being gay.

Trust me, women are much happier this way! This is basically a win-win situation. 🌈

Wait... it would have been okay for me to leave a note for my boss saying, "You're the only thing that matters to me."

HR would be cool with that!? Right on... 🙄

Are we really going to wait until RFK Jr says, "Coffee is bad for you!" before we rise up? 🙄

I once had an intern who "didn't like music". Specifically, he said, "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to listen to."

How interesting! 🤔

Three months ago, I didn't know I had a "pelvic floor"...

And now, every other headline tells me why I need to worry about it...! 😲

JD Vance isn't very good at...

(* checks notes *)

... things. 🙄

"No. It's not dangerous to confuse children with angels."
- The movie "Magnolia"