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@theonion.com@web.brid.gy
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Home [Unofficial] @theonion.com@web.brid.gy
· 4mo ago
Nation Likes When Bib Has Picture Of Food They Eating
The Onion

Nation Likes When Bib Has Picture Of Food They Eating

WASHINGTON—Gleefully strapping the protective garment under their chins and clapping, the U.S. populace announced this week that they like it when their bib has a picture of the food they’re eating. “Yay, our plate has lobster, and the bib has lobster right on the front, and now we won’t mess up our shirt,” said 61-year-old […]

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· 2mo ago
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
With her roles in the current and upcoming blockbusters The Odyssey, Spider-Man: Brand New Day, and Dune: Part Three, Zendaya is having a banner year. The Onion sat down with the star to discuss what’s new and what’s next. The Onion : What drew you to The Odyssey&hairsp? Zendaya: I’ve always had a passion for large […] The post The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Zendaya appeared first on The Onion.
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Zendaya
The Onion

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Zendaya

With her roles in the current and upcoming blockbusters The Odyssey, Spider-Man: Brand New Day, and Dune: Part Three, Zendaya is having a banner year. The Onion sat down with the star to discuss what’s new and what’s next. The Onion : What drew you to The Odyssey ? Zendaya: I’ve always had a passion for large […]

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· 2mo ago
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
WASHINGTON—Shedding light on the negative effects of excessive screen time, a new study from Georgetown University published Thursday found that most Americans would benefit from cutting down on phone use during sex. “New data suggests setting down your phone during intercourse can positively impact your life, even if it’s just for a few thrusts,” said […] The post Study: Majority Of Americans Would Benefit From Decreased Phone Use During Sex appeared first on The Onion.
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Home [Unofficial] @theonion.com@web.brid.gy
· 2mo ago
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
LOS ANGELES—Noting that the extra small available on the sales floor just wouldn’t work for his client, Zendaya’s stylist Law Roach reportedly asked a store associate Thursday if she had Tom Holland in any other sizes. “Excuse me? This sample size won’t work for Z, she’s very tall,” said Roach, who was overheard demanding that […] The post Law Roach Asks Store Associate If She Has Tom Holland In Different Size appeared first on The Onion.
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· 2mo ago
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
ORLANDO, FL—In what eyewitnesses described as a deeply disturbing and totally unhinged interaction, a Disney World Donald Duck reportedly warned a terrified child Thursday that he was once a normal little boy. “I may look like a silly anthropomorphic duck, but I was once a child just like you,” said the Donald Duck character, claiming […] The post ‘I Was Once A Normal Little Boy Like You,’ Disney World Donald Duck Warns Terrified Child appeared first on The Onion.
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· 2mo ago
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
The post ‘That’s All I’m Saying,’ Repeats Man Who Keeps Saying More Stuff appeared first on The Onion.
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· 2mo ago
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
Influencers Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested in Florida on rape and sex trafficking charges and now face potential extradition to the U.K. What do you think? The post Tate Brothers Arrested In Florida appeared first on The Onion.
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· 2mo ago
The post Profits Soar As Taylor Farms Rebrands As Biological Weapons Manufacturer appeared first on The Onion.
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· 2mo ago
WASHINGTON—Accusing the physician of not being straight with the American people, an often hostile Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee this week interrogated Anthony Fauci over the origins of a pie he brought to a recent cookout. “You previously stated that you baked the pie yourself from scratch and yet here, under oath, you refuse to list a […] The post Congress Interrogates Fauci Over Origins Of Pie Brought To Cookout appeared first on The Onion.
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· 2mo ago
HAWTHORNE, CA—Providing customers with an expansive and growing library of premium content, smart doorbell manufacturer Ring launched a new streaming service Wednesday.  Company officials said Ring+, as the subscription platform is called, features 3 trillion hours and counting of both live and pre-recorded exterior home security footage from across the country. With an ad-supported $7.99 […] The post Ring Launches Streaming  Service appeared first on The Onion.
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