Senil 🍹

it is new day, post zoo visit (got to see some painted doggies chilling out), now need to investigate this again. i still don't understand why, exactly, it's mad about the placement of the file but i'm going to try and run a purely local instance directly first w/o building anything via docker and see if it works properly. if it doesn't work with the file location as specified there's something a lil' off but if it does, i need to figure out why the docker build chain doesn't let this happen as i expect it to.

i need to have a job so effin' bad, i hate being broke and stressed as fuck because i'm barely floating by with loans and medical debt and rising cost of living and nobody is fucking hiring. just. need to drown my feelings in something.

NEED HELP ASAP: $0/300 Loans hit and I'm now 260 in the red and have some OTC meds I need to buy to keep functional (mainly omeprazole, fucked up my gut badly years ago recovering from surgery and it has not forgiven me). My partner and I also have basically nothing to do when it comes to food until our can deposit processes and we get probably just 40 from that which will not last terribly long given our combined dietary restrictions. I will be getting unemployment soon but that amount will almost instantly get eaten up by our electric bill, renter's insurance, Internet & phone service, etc. Things that we have to have to exist. I need at least 260 to get out of the red ASAP and make my bank not pissed off at me yet again, the extra 40 is to help with OTC meds. Everything over that will be for foodstuffs and helping absorb bills should they pile over that 260 point I get from unemployment weekly. I may have another potential lead with a company close by now, but I have yet to have the usual HR interview - hopefully that'll come this week (as well as an actual follow up for a job with the local utility yet again for real). I'm having no luck finding anything min wage close by that won't break my body and soul, nor am I getting any info on a "work your own hours" contract thing online after applying a month and a half ago. https://paypal.me/senil888streams https://ko-fi.com/senil cash: $senilthesynth venmo: senil @mutualaid @mutualaid@fedigroups.social #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest

Loan's due today and the payment is either going to process and knock me into the red with an overdraft fee, or bounce and possibly hit me with a late fee or "payment failed" fee. I really need to feel comfortable that there's enough to at least absorb the loan until unemployment hits in the next couple of days. https://paypal.me/senil888streams https://ko-fi.com/senil cash: $senilthesynth venmo: senil @mutualaid@fedigroups.social @mutualaid #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest

also still hungry after dinner earlier yet can't get anything :( blegh

what do we think about this delightful ending part of my nicolium Dockerfile setup.

October Rent: $0/1000 Welp... it's that time of month again, of course. Still unemployed, still without consistent income, and my health continues to be a mixed bag. I don't know how much help I'll be able to get from my family still, and I'm assuming the answer is "very, very little." Any amount helps keep me and my partner afloat and housed while I try to get employed and become financially stable again. Applied for new jobs with the utility, but was auto-rejected for other jobs over the weekend that I was outright recommended for. Hopefully I actually move forward with the local utility this week, or get good news from another company out in Clackamas. In the meantime... I'm still in this position... As always. https://ko-fi.com https://paypal.me/senil888streams cashapp: $senilthesynth venmo: senil anything helps, y'all. as always. im going to Attempt (TM) to stream tomorrow to at least kinda pretend i'm doing something productive to justify me asking so damn much for so long... @mutualaid @mutualaid@fedigroups.social #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest im sorry y'all...

the new container is still building. i need to see if i cant ditch the `pnpm fetch -y' command from the Dockerfile as that's easily the slowest part, but i also need to be sure it pulls everything. bleh.

@PsyChuan@plush.city "we're supporting (disease) on the side of (disease)"

this is LITERALLY the photo I'd send to people at first to indicate I'm at the Oregon Zoo. No actual photos for them yet, just "ocean soup serves many" but if they don't have it, I'll just have to get it myself.

got my fancy new nicolium-fe dockerfile + build process up and running on here. works swimmingly, easy to map custom stuff through via compose, and shit just Works (TM) which is pretty good. 10/10 do recommend this. I'll prob alter the dockerfile to just touch nicolium.json rather than requiring you copying it over during the build step, or just mv the example json to be the "default" one (since it's basically the default anyways).

@NanoRaptor@bitbang.social yeahhh shinigami eyes is. not a great tool at all these days. very, very anti-intersex, anti-nonbinary, anti-transmasc sentiments. transmedicalist? you're gucci no matter what, though. for some reason. ​

I love how NCASE sells an ATX metal case that looks like the good ol' Cheese Grater Mac Pro's. https://ncased.com/products/p1-honeycomb?variant=55472547496104

weh... brain's being blegh as fuck tonight. because why not. i loooveee chronic stress and the anxiety/depression that comes along with it.

ok i think it was just something weird going on with the build process, now that I'm basically just having the Dockerfile pull the latest release, copying over the appropriate images (favicons, icon.png, and nicolium.json) and then defining the Caddyfile via compose, it's working just fine locally. so i think it was just a case of overcomplicating things lmao

now im hungy though...

only thing i can suspect is if the nicolium.json file actually needs to live somewhere else, but i can't figure out why on earth it would belong anywhere else than the /instance folder among the hosted files. it's exported from the page's "hey this site doesn't support saving the front-end config so you'll have to edit and manually define it" so it's not likely to be a formatting error? idfk. it's 2am. i need to sleep. good night, chat.

anyways now its nap time.

Really need help ASAP, my partner and I have no food to work with, especially given one of my partner's meds requires them to have a decent-ish meal for it to absorb properly and take full effect. I did get our can deposit which will get us through tonight and tomorrow, thankfully, but we're still SOL without any help as this week's unemployment will just go to getting out of the red and nothing else. I'm going to actually try and stream something tomorrow as a "hi i am alive i am trying to do literally anything at this point", mostly so i feel slightly more comfortable asking for continued help... I'm so sorry to still be in this place, y'all. Shit is too fucking expensive. And unfortunately I immediately got rejected for the role I was reached out to about last week because why the fuck not, everyone is saying they're hiring but nobody wants to actually hire. https://paypal.me/senil888streams https://ko-fi.com/senil cash: $senilthesynth venmo: senil @mutualaid @mutualaid@fedigroups.social #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest (I'm sorry to keep shoving this at y'all but this is just. nobody else is helping us at this point. unemployment isn't enough, SNAP isn't enough, both of us have been in depression hell this month which makes shit even harder...)

just exhausted of everything 24/7/365

Still haven't gotten anything and the loan will strike me in the next couple of days... I do not need my credit taking any more hits than it's already somehow endured over the last year. Please, y'all, I hate this situation and I'm trying to find something to tide me over but the things I've reached out to are taking their sweet ass time to actually decide if i get the "luxury" of doing contract work with them or not. https://paypal.me/senil888streams https://ko-fi.com/senil cash: $senilthesynth venmo: senil @mutualaid@fedigroups.social @mutualaid #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest

ok it allegedly should be passing through the new nicolium.json file via docker compose but it doesn't seem to be picking up that? idk. later me problem, it's late here. it's single-user anyways, i can just save stuff in the user notes for the time being and figure this mess out later.

need to hug someone and just know everything will be okay. soon. i need my life situation sorted... and soon.

ok so it IS fine with the same nicolium.json file that exists in the docker container, so it's either some permissions thing (i can't imagine why? i'll add a chown to it though, to be sure) or something weird is going on. the folder structure matches what i've extracted on my desktop once i get to the appropriate level in the container, so idk what's going on there. i'll poke around with it, but it does confirm to me that the nicolium.json file that should be loaded onto this instance is valid, it's just not being loaded right as far as i can tell.

@sirlan@derg.social tonight. nine pm. behind the gas station.

i wanna take a nap but i mustn't so so so bad. well, at least i got my nicolium.json finally exactly how i want it. got the buttons i want, got the look, got the privacy link cleaners, the works (for my wants)

IF THEY DO NOT HELP, I'll need this full amount ASAP to just barely cover rent and apartment utilities, and still most of unemployment will be going towards this alongside what was sent over by kind person yesterday (still, seriously appreciated mate). IF THEY DO HELP, this amount will become a buffer for other bills and shit that eat too much into unemployment. Mostly power (which'll hopefully be going down soon with cooler weather) and student loans because they refuse to update my payment plan to anything else it seems and they want more evidence than I can provide to defer due to unemployment. I'll update the post above and add a follow-up saying they helped and with how much, and fill out the goal appropriately. I will likely not hear anything from them until tomorrow morning at best, tomorrow afternoon/evening at the latest, probably. (as in, September 2nd). https://ko-fi.com/senil https://paypal.me/senil888streams cash: $senilthesynth venmo: senil Really hoping i can get something decently paying soon that won't destroy me physically and mentally. mostly the latter at this point, tbh. If anyone knows of even some basic remote work bullshit doing something that'll get me paid a decent enough amount per week, please send it my way and I'll go through the process and all that jazz. @mutualaid @mutualaid@fedigroups.social #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest

yeah I just checked and the custom nicolium.json file is getting passed through appropriately, so it's just making sure nicolium proper is listening to the json file? *shruggie*. main thing is this does, in fact, work as expected right now.

wait shit now that i'm not building it from scratch i can't force it to default to my own instance and to show the local timeline natively... also there are some parts of the json file that don't seem to be saving and mapping correctly, like the custom navbar order? idfk. maybe building from scratch is the way to go for my needs and just figure out mapping stuff correctly later on.

blegh... need to do the whole eating thing but my partner and I are flat broke to get anything & I'm rapidly hitting the "i am falling apart" stage (it does not help that I've been awake basically all night after a two or three hour sleep before). local utility please make progress with me this week. or even the manufacturing company I've poked at a few times. or another company that finally got back to me about how they use AI in their screening process (literally just the initial "hey help me find people" so not even filtering applications, strictly for recruiting it seems) so i confirmed my interest and applied for real there. tired of being broke and unemployed and low energy i just wanna be able to exist and eat and not feel like I'm constantly under threat of everything falling apart without constant, substantial help from others.

done my weekly rounds of "trying to follow up on job applications that I've interviewed with a hiring manager or have been told regularly I'm still being considered" and also trying to reach out to a different company for a different role. so now i'm looking at housing slightly closer to the places i've applied to and god why is the housing market fucking like this. there are at least some cute buildings in that area but also buying anything is looking at least 500k, if not 600k for anything that looks like it won't need tons of work. even one of the few plots of land in the area left are still like, 300k+. The only plot of land that ain't a ton of cash is 100k but it's totally unworked on. would need to spend a lot to cut down trees for space and develop the area juuuust enough to be livable (but I would 100% want to keep as much of the trees there as possible)

yay it's working. going to make some other tweaks to the Dockerfile & nicolium.json BUT! i now have a setup that works in my current stack.

$0/400 Still need enough to cover private student loans here, which will hit my account in a few days. Would like to not get yeeted deep into the red and hit with gnarly overdraft fees https://paypal.me/senil888streams https://ko-fi.com/senil cash: $senilthesynth venmo: senil #MutualAid #MutualAidRequest

ok yeah. i'm just thoroughly confused at this point. i can definitely build it with environment variables just fine (have been able to for a while) but i cannot get nicolium.json to map and be read correctly, even though it's been exported by a different nicolium instance than the one I'm on right now. i'll deal with this another time. too annoyed right now to think bout this more. at least i'm able to regularly reproduce the image now? though it's still pulling the latest commit to make it work which again, isn't super ideal in general. blegh. eepy. i wanna nap but i mustn't.

@cooper@blimps.xyz kinda want to have the space to have a dedicated rack space in a future home that's accessible but tucked away...

would appreciate a few bucks so i can get something because im hungry and brain's crashing >_<

@mynameistillian@plush.city every time you boost this I read through it again and I always end up fucking cackling at it all.