Scott

My dad’s HP laptop started tripping a Honeypot on my network, now I gotta worry about LG as well…

Have you heard about ubiquiti yet?

I've heard a lot of people like the LackRack, that is if you have an IKEA nearby. https://nenimein.fi/blog/post/lackrack-v3/

Stayed the night at my cousin's apartment, woke up to my car towed. Had to call 911 (since that's the only way to find where it went) and had to tell them it was a non emergency, which you need to inform them of. A few minutes of confirming the vehicle and location we were off the phone and on the way to the tow yard. 911 was great, tow yard fucking sucked though.

That got a good laugh out of me

Just rename it to Epstein

I would hope you are not putting a professor in a 1u chassis, that sounds kinda mean