ryan wolf

im a self-made babe (2: pig in the city)

my 5yo was dissappointed to learn the biggest named number is just called "graham's number." so, they've named a bigger number: septrillion hotdogweek

remember to leave time milk out for the time goblins tonight

jorts divorce

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
My dog says it's probably gonna be the doorbell.

the duolingo owl only seems like an aggro outlier if you forget that most owls are up all night doing murder

the like morning routine perverts don't get that getting up at a stupid time every day is just being a dad. im not a warrior monk i just have these little guys in my house that are unmoored in time and need a grown up around.