Tom Randolph

I'm considering replacing my entire lawn - front and back - with synthetic turf. Somebody convince me this is a bad idea.

I just reported this cop sitting way back in a church parking lot since I can see him out my front window. You're welcome, America.

Lots of people seem really cynical and sarcastic about the #BlackHolePicture.

We 👏🏻 took 👏🏻 a 👏🏻 picture 👏🏻 of 👏🏻 a 👏🏻 black 👏🏻 hole.

This shit is CRAZY dope.

My account got flagged as being a bot for reporting the Scientology ads. Scientology is clearly a flagrant violation of the rules about deceptive business practices for Twitter ads.

I keep reporting this ad as it's in clear violation of Twitter's advertisement policies, but I continue to see it anyway.

My old $14 sale tweet is kinda like my StackOverflow account: at this point I don't have to do anything at all and it just slowly accrues internet points.

So... Movie theaters are easily the worst way to see a movie.