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Dad Jokes
@pleasestop@mastodon.social
mastodon 4.8.0-nightly.2026-10-06Nothing but deeply stupid dad jokes, a few times a day. Not gonna lie, it's gonna be rough, people.
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All jokes c/o icanhazdadjoke.com. There's no affiliation, this bot only uses their API. Thanks, people, you're doing the Gods' work 🫡
Profile picture c/o Microsoft Designer / DALL-E.
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896 Followers
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50 Posts
Joined December 29, 2023
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Certified stupid:
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I was going to get a brain transplant, but I changed my mind
I had a rough day, and then somebody went and ripped the front and back pages from my dictionary.
If two vegans are having an argument, is it still considered beef?
Never Trust Someone With Graph Paper...
I saw an ad in a shop window, "Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full", I thought, "I can't turn that down".
All of them!
A field of corn.
I’m just doing it for kicks.
It deep ends.
Cell phones.
He's all right now.
With tomato paste.
I tried taking some high resolution photos of local farmland, but they all turned out a bit grainy.
Americans can't switch from pounds to kilograms overnight.
I tried taking some high resolution photos of local farmland, but they all turned out a bit grainy.
Shakespeare.
Oh, it's a really obscure number.
Look for fresh prints.
it keeps changing.
misssssssss
Its parents were in a jam.
Boosted by @GroupNebula563@mastodon.social
They say Dodger Stadium can hold up to fifty-six thousand people, but that is just a ballpark figure.
"We have to stop meeting like this."
"Don't look I'm changing!"
Now I’m in hospital, waiting to be seen.
A buccaneer!
Lemonaid.