Pat Castaldo

Proof you don’t need AI to make something that completely terrifies me.

"Oh, I love your new place — but why don't you have any furniture or anything?"

"Well, funny story, you know that moving company I hired? Apparently they died of dysentery."

Apparently my phone has a feature that lets me know if the Ghost of Prince is within 1.5 miles.

Music Apps

iOS: Let's put a search bar everywhere, this time at the bottom, no matter what app you're in you're gonna tap it by mistake.

Mac: Let's hide the search bar even though we have plenty of room for it and make sure they have to click every time.

I think about growing up and watching crime shows where foot prints were often used as evidence.

In Portland, a size 10 or 11 Vibram sole would account, easily, for 70% of males.

“Should we hire people that can tell if an email came from outside the organization, or show them how?”

“Naw, let’s just put a giant yellow banner in every single email they receive.”

“Sounds good.”

Some mornings when I “workshop” bad joke ideas my wife just sits eating her yogurt slightly confused, maybe annoyed, and lets out a deep sigh.

This morning I was trying to workshop a food cart that is only open at night that serves bowls with a bright red sauce on it called “Anne Rice.”

You can sigh, too, dear reader.

I really recommend getting a business partner who doesn’t seem to mind you singing along to The Velvet Underground... and has done so for almost 30 years.

I’m not saying I’m old, but my High School had a smoking area where kids and teachers would both hang out and smoke in-between class.

It was called “the link” and it was a hallway between the old part of school and the new part, a back way into the cafeteria.

Huge swing and a miss on these “queso tell me more” goodles. Their attempt to add “salsa” flavor to the queso just reads as regurgitation in the back of your throat. No one in our family likes it.

The “twist my parm” is a solid mellow taste and I’d buy it again.

Pre-School ending for my daughter has me a little melancholy; not just for her and her moving on and growing up, but the parents I met and friends I've made that I won't see everyday anymore.

One runs a local restaurant and gifted me some of his amazing homemade blackberry jam.

Making *new* friends as you get older is a real gift, and one I don't take for granted.

Tim needs to get his shit together. His chips are often burnt and always flavorless.

I’m in the greeting card business (it’s weird, it’s 2026, but people still send them) — and one greeting card that always feels weird to “run the numbers” on is one that basically says “sorry your dog died.”

It’s a very morbid graph.

I read somewhere that people think this is a dilution of the brand, but they’re pretty good — you can tell they’re not chips made with “regular” oil. I think the EVOO has a nice taste to it, and they’re cut super-thin.

In times like this and when I’m playing with the configurator and being astonished at prices, I remember that I spent $7,653.00 in 2017 on my decked-out iMac Pro and have used it every single day since.... so like $2.50 a day?

I feel like I've been sufficiently warned not to eat my new camera.

Like yes, it is a small camera, and yes, I have a big mouth, but, I mean, please.

Teaching my daughter that you don’t need a computer to make video games.

SR5 is my favorite Toyota trim.

So proud of my friend Devlin for (re)opening Bizarro Comics.

If you live in Athens, GA and like comics, you already known Devlin. He ran Bizarro-Wuxtry Comics for decades and when Wuxtry changed he didn’t miss a beat.

The desire to control payment rails is a helluva drug. Why banks keep trying to reinvent things that no consumer will want is kinda amazing to watch.

When you let your 4yo daughter pick your beers for you, this is what you get.

Sometimes the algorithms really get me.

I can’t be the only one singing the Larry David theme song when making these.

Nothing say "our company is now full of people who don't know what a spreadsheet is or why you'd use it" than choosing to show only five icons in your toolbar and one of them is to insert fucking AI gifs.

And then the audacity to color it different so your eye is constantly draw to it, reminding you how much you hate this timeline.

All these gym classes in elementary school that show stretching and stuff are completely wasted on the young. Kids are rubber bands, they don’t need stretching.

Who most needs that class are 50yr old men.

@aiefel@mastodon.social They literally copied the musical. It’s a whole thing.

The b-roll footage in the documentary series Monsters or God is some of the best I’ve ever seen (and I watch a lot of documentaries).

What was once exciting now fills me with fear.

Oh, shit, I think Cathy just parked out front.

It’s my not-so-secret shame that I have a Sausage McMuffin with Egg every weekday morning for breakfast.

Join me in my class action suit against Budweiser for the long lasting emotional distress caused by the Wazzzup series of commercials.

I really wanted to like these. But they are not good. Whatever powder they’re using isn’t good. Somehow sorry and them with a very “nothing” kinda of heat, both of which hide the pretzel nature of the goldfish.

I honestly find minor sprinkler system repair very satisfying.

I dropped my car off at the mechanic early this morning, took a Lyft home.

Went out to go run and errand just now and 100% thought my car was stolen.

“When you’re out of Schlitz, you’re out of beer.”

They’re stopping production of the beer that made Milwaukee famous, but also a piece of my education that I’ll never forget.

I had a professor in college who used this slogan in his logic course (the class was called “computability & cognition” — an Evergreen State college classic) — and there was just this smile that came over his face when he’d say it, that was this warm happiness that helped you pay attention, it helped you learn.