Huff

Some Mastodon tips I've learned:

- You need a fit, young hunting party
- They are not easy to bring down, so make sure your spears have extremely sharp tips
- Ensure you have a supply line and pack animals available to transport the meat and pelt back to the cave

2023 Resolution: Toot my way through it.

Gave myself the first week of the year to fuck around, but tonight I begin my fitness mission of ending each day too physically exhausted to lay there and toss & turn with worry till 4 am.

Saw that Miley Cyrus turned 30 in November and suddenly grew a whole new set of wrinkles and my arthritis started hurting everywhere.

I can’t be the only person among those of us cursed with paying too much attention to such things who absolutely loathes the advertising trend of making TV commercials look like Zoom calls or “influencer” videos on TikTok or Instagram. No. Bring back formal spokespeople saying overly crafted copy. Dressed nicely. In an OBVIOUS studio setup. I WANT SOMETHING FAKE TO SELL ME DEODORANT.

Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Europe and all the ships at sea. Most Americans are asleep right now, you could totally put our hands in a bucket of warm water.

Most important question I've ever asked on social media: Does anyone understand what the fuck that beefy dude with the growly voice is singing in the DoorDash commercials full of marching people?

Listening to a fascinating podcast but one host says all her Ts very hard and it’s absolutely driving me crazy. (FWIW, Stephen Colbert, whom I love, used to do something similar by leaning on the terminal S in wordsssss, and I got to where I couldn’t watch him for a while.)

Woke from extremely vivid dreams in which Donald Rumsfeld, artist Michael Kupperman and Michael Ian Black were my three ghosts of Christmas or something. So a very merry one to you and yours, I guess.

I love how having a holiday on a Monday makes the rest of the week feel like Mondays.

One thing I guarantee: I am beginning 2023 with vastly less give a fuck than I began 2022 with.

Because I'm suspicious that the bird site blocks negative tweets about Elbow Husk, I'm putting this here.

Almost every time he tweets, the stock drops. Just look at time stamps. 10-30 minutes after a tweet, a dip.

Just poured myself a whiskey and soda after finishing my Night Editor shift at 2 AM and only realized after the first sip that this is uncomfortably close to breakfast time.

Just thought of a scene for my biopic:

[STEVE, age 7, holds a 3-D viewmaster to his face, begins clicking trigger to change images. Camera closes in to...]

UNSEEN SCENE CHANGE

[We pull out to see STEVE, age 55, removing an Oculus headset.]

STEVE

Oculus porn is really weird.

I really shouldn't listen to so much music that would be perfect for the end of the world. It can induce, well, pessimism.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGKc3T7OVHE

I once suggested people who post on Post about cannabis should tag said post with posttoasties. Been trying to think of something like that for Mastodon but so far all I have for this site is #Mastonnabis, which sounds like some kind of sexually-acquired disease.

One good thing about my night work schedule: I've stayed up late enough to see Adult Swim's most whacked-out experimental programming block. Too bad I last dropped LSD 35 years ago.