Ben Zanin

These swamp boats lack windscreens. Someone is going to take an egret to the face at forty five swampy kilometers per hour #monsterdon

Katie: "what do you call someone who fucks jellyfish?" Me: "I'm putting that question on the internet." Katie: "let me know what the answer is." you heard the lady, please form an orderly queue for submitting answers I'll be in a room as far away as I can muster #monsterdon

*frantically googling "how fast could a swamp boat boat if a swamp boat could boat swamp"* #monsterdon

OH MY GOD IS THAT THE END IT IS THE END And that's a wreck! Jellyfish-Egon perishes horribly in his underwater cave-lair, taking with him the secret of breeding prize-sized jellyfish in captivity! Nobody ever discovers all the dead frat kids? And Hoyt, Karen, and Dr. Tight-shorts fuck off into the sea! Err swamp Thank you for organizing, @Taweret@timeloop.cafe , that was a sheer delight. JELLYFISH JELLYFISH JELLYFISH #monsterdon

hey you know those tendrils that Hoyt just had splayed all over his shirtless chest while grappling with Egon/jellyfish? Haven't we spent the last seventy-five minutes establishing that contact with them leaves intolerably agonizing welts, with stings injecting a venom like that of the cobra? just asking #monsterdon

"But I found the answer: sea water... electricity... and human blood! And some chemicals I stole from your father's lab." "Some chemicals" is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that crucial plot point we just sailed past there #monsterdon

worst swoon EVAR #monsterdon she just went all limp and woobly-wobbly, arms and legs just drifting in space as if to snag unsuspecting prey passing by

Egon, getting along with people is a complicated pursuit. There is no right way to do it, that's true. But there _is_ a _wrong_ way to do it, and sexual assault is definitely that #monsterdon

SWAMP BOAT CHASE #monsterdon

The Shape of Water (2017) #monsterdon

Wait, did the jellyfish monster leave tendrils on its victim in the shower that time?? #monsterdon

Egon gon' get jellied #monsterdon

WHY IS EGON SUCH A CLOSE TALKER One and a half arm lengths, Egon! Pay attention to the body language of the person you're speaking with, don't intrude on their personal space any more than they intrude into yours. Match eye contact. Stop sneaking up on people! Also stop putting on a killer jellyfish suit and killing people, that might be a good change too #monsterdon

We have previously established more than once that underwater explosions are terrifying, deadly events because of how hydrostatic shock can basically instantly pulverize your organs, right? That happens in the jellyverse too? Or are they using alternate physics? #monsterdon

Oh Susan A shame you got the stinging and the bruisin' Because you took a shower 'stead of snoozin' After hanging with the frat boys who were boozin' #monsterdon (god I'm not going to get all the way through this movie before a mod banhammers me)

"I'd never hurt _you_, miss Karen." Egon We need to work on your rizz. There is some room for improvement #monsterdon

MONSTER PAW Did Louise just get jellied in front of everyone? In the pool? That swimming pool right there with the limpid water and the light coloured paint job, against which a dark jellyfish man-monster stands out like a sore thumb? That's two college kids stung to smitheroons ): #monsterdon

this movie is like ten percent butt shots by screen time so far I wonder what the jellyfish monster is up to right now #monsterdon

it's on the tip of my tongue, don't tell me #monsterdon

JELLYFISH PUGILISM #monsterdon

just like a... ...like a... ...like some kind of floppy thing #monsterdon

Disc 8/8, track 25, $175 https://www.bear-family.com/sedaka-neil-the-complete-1956-1966-8-cd-deluxe-box-set.html I... cannot justify this and yet... #monsterdon

who brings a road flare to a jellyfish fight HOYT #monsterdon

Far too few of these drunk, partying frat rats on this boat are wearing life jackets. This is stressing me out. #monsterdon

"Don't you want Karen and the girls to come with you?" "No, they'll be safe. We have guns." Ah, yes, the same guns that kept the two kids writhing in pain safe? Good good, fine plan, excellent, please proceed. #monsterdon

"Hey, anyone up for a dip in the pool?" "Not me, I'm eating." OK so we take the "no swimming for an hour after eating" rule seriously but not personal flotation devices?? What were they teaching these kids on school those days? #monsterdon

Why is the backup blonde disrobing again..? This seems a little gratuitous. Oh it's because she wants to take a shower. Yep OK cool fine, that tracks, go with it MONSTER FLIPPERS THOUGH #monsterdon

It is possible I went a bit overboard this #BandcampFriday . 👀 😅 ...nevertheless,,,

(someone please redub this peaceful SCUBA montage with Aquatic Ambiance from Donkey Kong Country for the SNES) #monsterdon

"She'll calm down now, girls. She's more frightened than anything else." Louise: *continues to writhe in agony* #monsterdon

You know what? Credit where it's due, this movie is making the old doctor wear shorts at _least_ as bootylicious as those of the dancing girls. #monsterdon

"Look! Jellyfish!" "There's more of them!" "They're attacking!!" "The boat's sinking!" Those are plastic bags and they are just floating there Jellyfish don't hate boats, they hate NUCLEAR REACTORS, this strains plausibility #monsterdon

MONSTER PAW ...grabs her _mask_..? Not her SCUBA mouthpiece? Sure, OK, I guess. You're the professional jellyfish monster here, I'm not in a position to tell you how to do you your job #monsterdon

Hey does anyone remember when a swamp absolutely writhing with jellyfish clogged up and sank an entire boat full of frat kids, and incidentally then killed all the kids who fell into the water? What happened to all those jellyfish? I feel like that quantity of training, stinging tendrils might have somewhat thinned the huge schools of fish we keep seeing in these underwater shots. #monsterdon

"I'll go out and work on the radio." Was or was not the radio smashed to bits?? I could have sworn that was previously established. Then again, I suppose everything in this is a bit wobbly and amorphous. #monsterdon

This Jellyfish song is terrible. It is _terrible_. New #monsterdon theme song..?

_Another_ dance break? Didn't we have one of these about ninety seconds ago? (These dancers do not look like they are having fun, especially in the low-angle shots.) #monsterdon

And that's a wreck! Nobody fucks off into the sea but two more skeletons fuck off into the vat of flesh-eating acid in the wine cellar, and two more ghosts join the throng that stalks THE HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL (I love that goofy movie so much, I couldn't even take time away to heckle it!) Thanks for hosting, @Taweret@timeloop.cafe ; and thank you all, #monsterdon, for this very special episode. GOOD NIGHT... OR GOOD BYE

don't boost that you monsters #monsterdon

Tonight, in about five minutes, we're going to watch "The House on Haunted Hill" (1959), starring Vincent Price and also some other people! It's about 75 minutes long, so you'll need about a 90 minute timed mute on the hashtag #monsterdon if you want to opt out of all the chatter. Alternatively, you still have time to cue up your own copy of the movie and join us in watching it and throwing popcorn at the screen along with us!

Oh jeez, is this a dance montage or a butt slideshow? #monsterdon

MONSTER PAW The jellyfish monster stalks our innocent, clueless, oddly incautious heroine! It strides after her on dry land just exactly the way a jellyfish does not #monsterdon

"I'm sorry about what happened earlier." "Oh, they mean well..." Do they? Do they really??? #monsterdon

MONSTER BUTT what the hell #monsterdon

Donna, terrified: "welp, I've stumbled through this swamp for about thirty seconds and now I'm tired, but the jellyfish monster keeps coming. Guess I'll sit down and die!" oh Donna shoulda known you were a gonna when you went out on the lawn-a then went for a wander #monsterdon

"To shreds, you say?" #monsterdon

Psst, reminder that this Friday is #BandcampFriday

Good gracious, did our frat rat body count just jump from like two to... fifteen or so?? Jeepers #monsterdon

Way to stand up for your coworker after the traumatizing event and after he already managed to extricate himself, Hoyt. (Of course, we omniscient popcorn chompers all know that this cavalier disregard for care and respect will come back to haunt the doctor, who will find himself... Hoyt on his own pétard..?) #monsterdon