DevKitsune 🦊 🏳️‍🌈

My mom called me back. We actually had a perfectly nice conversation not bringing it up. At the very end when I told her I had to go she mentioned "we got your text, and while it's not what we imagined or wanted for you you have a good head on your shoulders" And I told her "thank you, that means a lot" And we left it at that So that is about as well as this whole thing could have gone and that's a huge burden off my shoulders

Anyways I texted my parents a note about 30 hours ago that has enough PII I'm not going to post it here But I think it was very polite and respectful of their point of view but firm that this is what I am doing Absolutely no acknowledgement of it Called my mom for my normal twice-weekly commuting catch up on my way home today and she didn't pick up (which definitely isn't unheard of for her to be busy and miss it but isn't super common and she often sends a sorry to miss you, catch up tomorrow? type text) I imagine I'll hear from them eventually and we will all pretend like nothing happened but if they ever make any acknowledgement of the move I will have to be the one to bring it up and it won't be a fun conversation

@ubahnverleih@chaos.social my flat mate is studying civil engineering. He did this last year

Anyways the lease on the old apartment is expiring soon, one of my old roommates (and good friend of both me and BF) is going to move into a spare bedrooms at BFs place and I really need to tell my parents like now and am just dreading it so much I have been dreading it all week, just tense with anxiety and I feel like I probably made the whole thing worse by putting it off/avoiding it and not confronting it sooner especially because I think really the only way to handle it at this point is to lie and tell them I am moving soon when the roommate is so they don't know I lied by ommision to them for months

My mom got married less then a month after she turned 25, and moved into my dad's apartment right after the wedding. Moving in with a partner is a lot easier to reverse than marriage. Moving in with a partner of 2 years where you have had a very stable and supportive relationship during that time, when you are almost 24 and they are 24 doesn't seem like that unusual or even risky a thing to do If my BF and I break up, I'll find a new apartment and it obviously wouldn't be a fun experience, moving never is, but it also wouldn't be the end of the world, I don't even know if I'm going to stay in Cleveland forever. But my mom just seems to find it inconceivable and scandalous and seems to think I am somehow trapping myself by doing this My dad thinks it is irresponsible and that couples should wait till marriage before moving in together IDK what to do with them so I just didn't tell them

If anyone wonders where I get my own conflict avoidance from see exhibit A - my parents never asking any follow up questions after I informed them I would most likely move December 2025 and would definitely move by May 2026 And exhibit B - when I provide follow up that I am in fact moving as discussed they decide to ignore the note and me in general Exhibit C is my mom pretending like she never saw my text that said BF and I were dating - so now I always send notes about serious things related to that to both my parents at once

@mcalel tried it but it has already been used