The Babylon Bee

Canadian Astronaut Humanely Euthanized After Suffering Light Bruise During Takeoff

https://babylonbee.com/news/canadian-astronaut-humanely-euthanized-after-suffering-light-bruise-during-takeoff/?utm_source=fediverse

Coder Displaced By A.I. Told He Should Just 'Learn To Mine Coal'

https://babylonbee.com/news/coder-displaced-by-ai-told-he-should-just-learn-to-mine-coal/?utm_source=fediverse

Faux Pas: Trump Gifts President Xi With Pot Of Honey From White House Beehive

https://babylonbee.com/news/faux-pas-trump-gifts-president-xi-with-pot-of-honey-from-white-house-beehive/?utm_source=fediverse

Weird: Epstein Suicide Note Printed On Hillary Clinton's Personal Stationery

https://babylonbee.com/news/weird-epstein-suicide-note-printed-on-hillary-clintons-personal-stationery/?utm_source=fediverse

'A Civilization Will Die Tonight,' Says Donald Trump As He Enters All-You-Can-Eat Shrimp Buffet

https://babylonbee.com/news/a-civilization-will-die-tonight-says-donald-trump-as-he-enters-all-you-can-eat-shrimp-buffet/?utm_source=fediverse

Hobbit On Diet Cuts Back To Four Meals A Day

https://babylonbee.com/news/hobbit-on-diet-cuts-back-to-four-meals-a-day/?utm_source=fediverse

Mysterious Investor 'Pancy_Nelosi' Makes Millions On Oil Trade Minutes Before Trump’s Iran Announcement

https://babylonbee.com/news/mysterious-investor-pancynelosi-makes-millions-on-oil-trade-minutes-before-trumps-iran-announcement/?utm_source=fediverse

Gross: California Prison Inmates Caught Using iPads To Watch San Francisco Giants Games

https://babylonbee.com/news/gross-california-prison-inmates-caught-using-ipads-to-watch-san-francisco-giants-games/?utm_source=fediverse

Guy Who Pushed Over Reacher's Motorcycle Announces Plan To Shoot John Wick's Dog

https://babylonbee.com/news/guy-who-pushed-over-reachers-motorcycle-announces-plan-to-shoot-john-wicks-dog/?utm_source=fediverse

California Abandons $250 Billion Study On Why It Has So Many Unfinished Projects

https://babylonbee.com/news/california-abandons-250-billion-study-on-why-it-has-so-many-unfinished-projects/?utm_source=fediverse

Dozens Of Injuries Reported At ‘No Kings’ Rally After Multi-Scooter Pileup

https://babylonbee.com/news/dozens-of-injuries-reported-at-no-kings-rally-after-multi-walker-pileup/?utm_source=fediverse

Trump Deploys 10,000 Soldiers To Spread Word There Is No War In Iran

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-deploys-10000-soldiers-to-spread-word-there-is-no-war-in-iran/?utm_source=fediverse

Black Half Of Tiger Woods Tased By Cops After Asian Half Crashes Car

https://babylonbee.com/news/black-half-of-tiger-woods-tased-by-cops-after-asian-half-crashes-car/?utm_source=fediverse

49 States Enact Legislation Banning Immigrants From California

https://babylonbee.com/news/49-states-enact-legislation-banning-immigrants-from-california/?utm_source=fediverse

12 Tips For Dads Babysitting Their Own Kids

https://babylonbee.com/news/12-tips-for-dads-babysitting-their-own-kids/?utm_source=fediverse

TSA Agent Keeps Skills Sharp By Groping Mannequin At Home

https://babylonbee.com/news/tsa-agent-keeps-skills-sharp-by-groping-mannequin-at-home/?utm_source=fediverse

Amazon Announces Massive ‘Everything-40%-Off-Except-The-Three-Things-You-Want’ Sale

https://babylonbee.com/news/amazon-announces-massive-everything-40-off-except-the-three-things-you-want-sale/?utm_source=fediverse

Trump Brags Oil Never Worth This Much Under Biden

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-brags-oil-never-worth-this-much-under-biden/?utm_source=fediverse

Report: The Reason TV Shows Take So Long to Make Now Is Because They Film in the Dark

https://babylonbee.com/news/report-the-reason-tv-shows-take-so-long-to-make-now-is-because-they-film-in-the-dark/?utm_source=fediverse

Theologians Confirm Heaven's Streets Of Gold Will Have No Cyclists

https://babylonbee.com/news/theologians-confirm-heavens-streets-of-gold-will-have-no-cyclists/?utm_source=fediverse

Bible Receives Modern Update With 'Morally Gray Edition'

https://babylonbee.com/news/bible-receives-modern-update-with-morally-gray-edition/?utm_source=fediverse

Child Psychologists Now Say Screen Time Is OK For Toddlers As Long As You're Showing Them 'Master And Commander: The Far Side Of The World'

https://babylonbee.com/news/child-psychologists-now-say-screen-time-is-ok-for-toddlers-as-long-as-youre-showing-them-master-and-commander-the-far-side-of-the-world/?utm_source=fediverse

Jimmy Kimmel To Write Script For New 'Godfather' Sequel

https://babylonbee.com/news/jimmy-kimmel-to-write-script-for-new-godfather-sequel/?utm_source=fediverse

Olympics Bans All Balls From Women's Sports

https://babylonbee.com/news/olympics-bans-all-balls-from-womens-sports/?utm_source=fediverse

Iran Denies Negotiating With Trump As All Its Leaders Are Dead

https://babylonbee.com/news/iran-denies-negotiating-with-trump-as-all-its-leaders-are-dead/?utm_source=fediverse

Man Unsure If What's Missing In His Life Is Jesus Or Really Cool Jacket

https://babylonbee.com/news/man-unsure-if-whats-missing-in-his-life-is-jesus-or-really-cool-jacket/?utm_source=fediverse

7 Ways To Toughen Up Your Wimpy Kid

https://babylonbee.com/news/7-ways-to-toughen-up-your-wimpy-kid/?utm_source=fediverse