Trying to write your résumé but all your skills are from before the burnout and you’re no longer the same person.
Remote
averagehousewife 
@averagehousewife@beige.party
mastodon 4.6.6Artist. Researcher. Beat Saber expert.
1149 Followers
490 Following
16 Posts
Joined November 25, 2022
People in local moms groups be like: “Posting anonymously bc my identical twin sister with 7 kids is also in this group.”
Were the vibes just super weird today, everywhere?
Do all older punk rock husbands listen to yacht rock while cooking dinner?
News this morning got me like
Went to the eye doctor today to get prescription drops for my dry eye. At the end of the exam he said, “looks like you’ve got a small cataract, but nothing unexpected for someone your age,” and then walked out the door. What do you mean, “someone my age”?? Sir, I might “technically” be 44, but I’m really just a baby! I haven’t been old long enough to know what that means! Please, treat me like the ignorant baby I am inside.
Not the first wolf
Not the second wolf
But a secret third wolf.
Vegetables in cigarette form
People keep talking about Patrick Clancy, then I get confused because Clancy Brown played Mr. Krabs not Patrick, but then I remember it’s actually a serious conversation.
Dear York, please make a dairy free Peppermint Patty. I am tired of settling for Junior Mints. I mean they are ok, but, well, you know.
My 20 yr old has started getting me into anime, and one thing I’ve learned is that as a 44-year-old white woman I will never be remotely as beautiful or as awesome as any random 15-year-old Japanese kid.
Replying to
@kimlockhartga@beige.party @TheBreadmonkey@beige.party The middle guy looks like Snape got a really bad haircut and became a douche.
Replying to
@psa I’m coming from entertainment/communications, but I’m not sure where I’m going.
Replying to
@psa thank you. 🙏 it’s especially fun when entirely changing industries.
Is there like an intro point when changing profile photos? Like, can we do a 50/50 split or something?