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Worf Email

@WorfEmail@mas.to
mastodon 4.7.2
  • Open on mas.to

My email signature is not your concern.

4708 Followers
1 Following
50 Posts
Joined November 02, 2024
Creator:
@JoeSondow@dice.camp
Tips:
https://patreon.com/JoeSondow
Bluesky:
https://bsky.app/profile/WorfEmail.bsky.social
Twitter:
http://twitter.com/WorfEmail
Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 4mo ago

YouTube Support,

I wish to appeal my ban on the grounds that death threats are acceptable greetings among my people.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 2mo ago
Security personnel, Force fields are not toys. Do not make me remind you of this again. Worf
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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Dr. Pulaski,

I believe your earlier claim to be wrong. It only takes one Klingon warrior to change a light bulb. There is no ritual.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago
All crew, We are planning a sneak attack on an illegal Romulan shipyard at 0900 hours tomorrow. DO NOT POST THIS ON SOCIAL MEDIA. Worf
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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

All crew,

Again, please do not insert unknown USB drives from random planets into computer ports on the Enterprise.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 4mo ago

Data TheAndroid,

I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

  • Worf SonOfMogh
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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Commander,

I apologize for the damage I did to the holodeck today. I was not aware that such a thing was possible.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago
Security personnel, The "shruggie" symbol is not an appropriate response to a security issue. Worf
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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 8mo ago

Geordi,

Is there a way to enter our authorization codes by typing them instead of speaking aloud to the computer? Several crew members have complained that they need to memorize a new code after each use because coworkers overheard them.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 3mo ago
Dr. Crusher, I do not understand the part you have assigned me in your play. Why does Puck want Bottom to have the head of an animal? Worf
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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

unsubscribe

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Data,

The object is made up of the animal’s fur. Dr. Crusher says it is a normal occurrence. You do not need to worry. I have the situation under control. The animal will not die.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Lt. Barclay,

Did you leave a pie outside my quarters? Please respond. Sneaking around is dishonorable.

Worf

P.S. It was delicious.

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Security personnel,

Top priority

An unknown intruder has stolen my bat’leth and replaced it with a foil-wrapped chocolate replica. This is not a joke. Locate the thief.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Commander,

I must visit my family. I request shore leave starting 30 days from today.

Please do not grant me more than 3 days.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

High Council Administrator,

I accept your invitation to the bat'leth tournament. I will not require a +1.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

Captain,

Dr. Crusher has ordered me to inform you that I am too sick to work today. I have now completed the task she has assigned me. I will be at my post as usual.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

All crew,

My security team does not pursue matters related to your personal information being released from the Ferengi credit hack.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

All crew,

Today's shut down of all lighting and consoles was intentional. The ship needed to pass as space debris to fool an enemy.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Roxanne,

It appears you have addressed this to me in error. You probably meant to email wriker@enterprise.uss

I will be discrete.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 3mo ago
⠀
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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Commander,

I regret that I am unable to report for duty today. My honor has been jeopardized. Dr. Crusher can explain.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Dr. Crusher,

Yes, if Wesley wishes to shadow me for a day to consider the security intern program, he may, but it will not be easy.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Captain,

When we travel through the asteroid belt tomorrow, I recommend we use the phaser banks to demolish rocks as we pass them.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Commander Riker,

I have located the Earth item you requested. I will be returning to the Enterprise in four days. Do you want me to bring it to your quarters or hand it to you on the bridge or wait until poker night?

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Geordi,

I am unable to locate my cowboy hat. I need it for tomorrow. Is there a way the ship's internal sensors could help?

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

Engineering,

My calisthenics program has a problem. Instead of proper opponents the holodeck is only creating cartoon ponies.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

Dr. Pulaski,

My name is spelled Worf, not Wharf. Do not make this mistake again.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Mrs. Garcia,

My condolences. Your husband did not survive the away mission. He died with honor. Counselor Troi will visit shortly.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Captain,

Your subterfuge was a success. The Romulans received our false plan. Their defenses are still focused on the shipyard.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Geordi,

Is something wrong with Lt. Barclay? He appears to run away whenever I enter a room.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

Amazon seller,

The bat'leth you sent me is faulty. It broke right away in combat. I insist you accept returns in this instance.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 2mo ago
Captain, While you were away the Enterprise computer has become infected with ransomware. Recommend evacuation and self destruct. Worf
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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 8mo ago

Self reminder. Sharpen bat'leth.

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

All crew,

Fire suppression on decks 9 to 21 will be tested at 1130 hours. There will be a harmless white gas. Hold your breath.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

Security personnel,

Some Cardassians are coming aboard. The Captain insists we treat them as guests.

Keep your eyes on our guests.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 8mo ago

Security personnel,

Do not put phasers in the lost and found. We have weapon procurement procedures for a reason.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Thank you for subscribing to the Enterprise security newsletter.

There have been 580 security breaches this week, all dealt with.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Commander,

On reflection, I do not think Ensign Crusher would be a good candidate for the security intern position.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

All crew,

My position is Security Chief, not Klingon Ambassador. I will not answer questions about how my people used to look.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

Glorifax Customer Service,

My honor rating in your system is much lower than in the other two honor reporting agencies. Obviously there has been an error. I demand a correction.

Worf, son of Mogh

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Commander,

Attached is a list of items you will need for the lesson you requested on Klingon courtship rituals.

Worf

📎 equipment.csv

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 8mo ago

Commander Riker,

I regret I must cancel our game today, as you seem unwell. Beating a sick man would be dishonorable.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

Commander,

I believe I have just solved a string of 20th century Earth crimes. Are you familiar with the Zodiac Killer?

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 6mo ago

Ensign Garcia,

You will accompany Commander Riker and me to the planet's surface. Report to transporter room 3 tomorrow at 0800.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

Senior staff,

I am still looking for my bat’leth. Inform me if you find it.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Ensign Serrano,

When we arrive at the planet tomorrow, at 1100 hours you will accompany Commander Riker, Commander Data, and myself to the surface for a scouting mission.

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 7mo ago

Guinan,

What do you have in Ten Forward for a hangover?

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 8mo ago

Commander Data,

Your speed and strength are impressive. Would you consider sparring with me tomorrow?

Worf

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Open post
Worf Email @WorfEmail@mas.to
· 5mo ago

Apr 12

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